AIBU to us all by leaving my DH behind?

(6 Posts)
Fanton12 Mon 07-Mar-16 16:31:12

I've posted about this topic once before in general terms, but I would really appreciate some thoughts as I'm suffering sleepness nights over this! Basically, we live outside the UK - have done for years. Our DCs are 5 now and in school here, but DH has long talked about how he wants them to go to school in the UK and ultimately how he'd like us all to go back to the UK. I've always been more enthusiastic about staying here, but I understand his point. In January we agreed that for various reasons (DCs age, close relative's poor health, our long term happiness at being back etc) it was time to move back. We found an ideal place to live and a lovely school and decided to start a small business in the UK - involving something we both enjoy doing. The problem is that our current business is doing really well and it makes sense for us to keep it going until the new business starts earning a good return - So the problem is that in order to do that DH has to be here... so now it's me and DCs going to the UK - for what I guess will be at least a year, with DH visiting every few weeks... AIBU to worry about the impact of this on our relationship - and on the relationship between DH and our DCs?

whois Mon 07-Mar-16 17:17:46

I'd say you're right to be worried, but sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do for the family.

Hopefully people who have had his type of set up can give you some tips.

waterrat Mon 07-Mar-16 17:25:53

Well yes it does sound pretty shit ! But rather than worry can you write down a list of possible alternative solutions.

Ie. If it was impossible for him to stay without you what wold you do?

icanteven Mon 07-Mar-16 17:27:41

Is your current business doing well enough to hire a manager? Because if it's not, then how well is it really doing? If it's not doing well enough to support a manager, then is it doing well enough to justify splitting the two of you up for the next year?

The children are really young to be without their Dad. I REMEMBER my Dad not being there when I was that age because he was working overseas, and my Mum sure as hell remembered it too.

Why do you have to go on ahead? Why not postpone the move? I get that you want to get business 2 up and running before shedding business 1, but without knowing more about the finances, I can't tell if it's really worth it.

SanityClause Mon 07-Mar-16 17:32:12

Could you sell your current business to give you some funds to live in until the UK business is up and running.

Would the UK business be likely to become viable more quickly with both of you working at it?

Katedotness1963 Mon 07-Mar-16 17:57:38

I moved back to the UK and my husband went to Alaska to work. Three months away one month home. We managed it for two years before it was just too much.

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