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AIBU to be mad at DS school?

(19 Posts)
dishpansanddiaries Mon 07-Mar-16 14:20:56

Hi mumsnet,

In November my son (16) had surgery to correct his foot. He had a few complications making his recovery more lengthy. We arranged, were harassed to have DS in school for three days a week, provided that he was in a environment where he would be able to complete his work without going to lessons.

DS informed me that school made him go to all his lessons and were threatening to charge me if he did not go in all week. My son offered to give it a try and so he did. Throughout the week he had pain in his foot and today he is showing a small bruise and swelling of his foot near one of his surgical sites. We are visiting his doctor tomorrow.

LineyReborn Mon 07-Mar-16 14:24:47

I would make an appointment to talk this through with the Headteacher or senior member of staff; and keep records of all medical appointments and medical issues. You need to know exactly what the schools stance is on this, and why.

Seeline Mon 07-Mar-16 14:27:12

What was the view of his surgeon and/or doctor? Was he told to stay off school, and if so for how long? Can you get it in writing?
Also - what do you mean that the school were going to charge you? As far as I know it is down to the Local Education Authority to impose fines if your child fails to be at school.

HeffalumpHistory Mon 07-Mar-16 14:29:27

School have to report it to the education authorities though so it ultimately does stand with them

dishpansanddiaries Mon 07-Mar-16 14:31:13

I hope im replying correctly? confused
Hi, Seeline he was told he was able to return to school within two weeks of getting his final cast removed, but due to complications we were not quiet sure. Thank you for your information.

SpaceDinosaur Mon 07-Mar-16 14:38:59

Seems highly unlikely that they would harass you about your son's surgery recovery unless he has had poor attendance? Many children have surgeries but schools are typically accommodating. How long was he away from school for before they started to pressurise you? It is his GCSE year too isn't it?

Regarding the travelling to lessons. Your son at 16 should have been able to say that he can't walk? Use his crutches? Over that distance. If he's presenting himself with bravado as "nothing's wrong" and not challenging "go to lessons" then chances are that the school are treating him as taking liberties or you as being precious. If it's literally your word and no doctor's letter.

I'm sorry that he has developed bruising and good for you that you are going back to see his surgeon. Sounds like the complications have unsettled you. Get your surgeon to provide information for the school.

I hope everything goes well at the hospital

Quietwhenreading Mon 07-Mar-16 14:41:08

Can you borrow a wheel chair temporarily?

TheFairyCaravan Mon 07-Mar-16 14:41:45

November to March is a long time to be out of school in any year, but at 16 in his GCSE or AS year how is he going to keep up with the lessons?

Maybe the school have gone about it the wrong way, but perhaps they are thinking about your son passing his exams in the Summer?

BumpPower Mon 07-Mar-16 14:46:06

The school will need medical evidence to continue to authorise absence. You need to make sure the Docs and school are talking to each other and that school and your DS are doing all they can to ensure the least disruption to his education -this should include work set and crucially marked and returned by teachers. Sometimes an hour afterschool meeting key teachers and discussing work will be more beneficial to DS than sitting in the library with a worksheet.
Hope that helps.

PosieReturningParker Mon 07-Mar-16 14:51:02

Get a meeting with the Head ASAP.

MeadowHay Mon 07-Mar-16 14:53:07

Sorry, am I missing something here? Why is not able to attend school now? If it's just about mobility then surely all efforts should be focused on the most relevant mobility aid for the moment, be that crutches or even a wheelchair. Has your 16 year old not been regularly attending school since November?! How will he get his GCSEs?! Sorry I am not trying to be harsh but this is such a crucial time. Does he get work sent home for him when he is not at school? I understand following surgery he would have needed some rest at home and you speak of complications but I still don't see how anything could be so bad as to mean he can't attend school properly for over 3 months?

Topseyt Mon 07-Mar-16 15:16:39

More information needed really. It is a very long time to be off school, especially in GCSE year.

I have known three children as young as 10 with serious leg injuries. They were all in my DD's year. All used wheelchairs for quite some time after their surgery, but were in school whenever possible. Schools will usually try to be accommodating once crutches or a wheelchair have been provided.

Was there a sound medical reason if your DS was absent for so long. Was all communicated fully to the school and were efforts made to provide work/tuition at home?

GoblinLittleOwl Mon 07-Mar-16 15:18:55

Couldn't you have arranged crutches, or a wheelchair to transport him to lessons?

witsender Mon 07-Mar-16 15:19:37

How is he learning and keeping up at the moment? What do his doctors say?

Sirzy Mon 07-Mar-16 15:23:44

What are the complications which mean he can't go to lessons? Even if he has to leave early to move rooms and have a spare seat to put his foot on?

I can understand the school not being happy after such a long time as it seems you don't have medical backing for it?

LIZS Mon 07-Mar-16 15:25:08

Why found he be in school but not attend lessons? Obviously not pe but sitting in a lesson is not dissimilar to sitting to work elsewhere. He might need longer to move classroom , ideally before the bell goes so he avoids the busy corridors but with crutches he could keep his weight off his foot.

Katenka Mon 07-Mar-16 15:26:14

I think this is one of those threads that there is a lot more to, but the OP hasn't shared it.

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine Mon 07-Mar-16 15:27:19

My DS has cerebral palsy and had major surgery on both legs. He had to use a wheelchair to get around in and was unable to stand for 6 weeks.
He was back at school full time two weeks after surgery and was also attending rehearsals for a theatre production he was performing in.

The school were fully able to accommodate this as were the theatre company.
The main problems we had were at home due to lack of space, however even then, we still managed.

For your son to have been out of school since November merely for a foot operation seems an incredibly long time!

Could he not use a wheelchair to get around at school? I'd be especially concerned at his age about the amount of time he's had off.

Topseyt Mon 07-Mar-16 15:30:28

Does he have any mobility aid? Is he using it correctly? Using it at all? Trying to get away without using it because it looks uncool in front of his friends?

Have school been instructed in what should be happening so that they can look out for him and see that he is doing as he is meant to, check that all is OK?

Just ideas. Not meaning to be accusatory.

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