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To just want a job?

(12 Posts)
fedupski Mon 07-Mar-16 13:37:03

I quit training for my dream job to care for a sick relative who has since died. The aftermath of their death meant that my return to training failed. ( DH ended up in hospital, DC were traumatised and needed me there).

There is no third chance to complete training, so I got DC and DH settled and 4 years after it all went wrong am back looking for work.

DH commutes an hour and a half away, so I need to be around to do drop offs and pick ups, no family help and my friends all work so can't help either.

Financially, I need to work as my savings are running out and my husband can't support us all on just his wages, but shops tell me I'm over qualified, agencies can't see past the 4 year gap and the only people who want to employ me expect flexibility on hours I can't do because of lack of childcare after 6pm.

AIBU to think someone would want to give me a chance? I'm just feeling angry, frustrated and very low about it all.

The80sweregreat Mon 07-Mar-16 13:49:26

I can sympathise as been in this position myself regards working, although I am not overqualified as you are, I have certainly been overlooked because I cant fill in the gaps of my time out of the work place, being a carer for an elderly relative, a mother and having to work around child care do not seem to register with many employers. Not everyone has relatives that can help out, the people I know that have this back up have certainly fared better.
I am sorry I don't have any real advice, apart from checking out school websites as they often advertise for positions that would fit around the children. I suppose you could look into the cost of a childminder, does your children's school have a breakfast club or a club that runs during the holidays? I know they are not cheap, but may be worth looking into. Getting a job is so hard and its harder when you have little ones too. I wish you lots of luck and hope someone will be along with better advice than me.

Topseyt Mon 07-Mar-16 13:55:46

OP, I remember that feeling soooooo well. It took me years to get back to work too after being a SAHM (due to cost of childcare for 3) for more years than I intended.

I was over qualified for most of the jobs I was willing to do, agencies were useless, others were put off by the gap in employment. It was worse than demotivating. What I also found hard was that so much of the application process had also gone online, so little chance of discussing my situation to another human being and actually being able to explain myself in person. It was a very, very hard time.

All I can say is keep pegging away. The job I eventually got was advertised in the window of our local newsagent. 3 hours every weekday morning, often working from home. Suits me fine, and well worth the wait even though I will never be wealthy. A suitable job may come from a source you least expect.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I also had a DH who has never been out of work and just couldn't understand why I couldn't simply magic additional income out of thin air, but that is another thread.

Good luck. Keep your eyes peeled and don't give up, tempting though it may be.

fedupski Mon 07-Mar-16 14:12:55

Thank you both. I'm lucky in that DH has been understanding so far, and is trying to get a job closer to home that pays the same as London rates so we can share school runs once I get a job.

I have a place at breakfast/afterschool club waiting and a really cheap holiday club nearby that the kids spent a day in at half term and loved. I just need to find a job between the hours of 8 and 5 now!

yomellamoHelly Mon 07-Mar-16 14:15:55

Was/ am in the same boat and remember being terrified at the reality of "putting myself out there" when I realised this is what I wanted to do a few years ago. Have done various voluntary bits in my dcs' schools.
But, I got told I've got a paying "job" today and that's a foot in the door imo. Don't expect it to earn me much, but is school hours (in a school) and will provide me with a reference. (Haven't worked in 12.5 years so that has been a bit of a problem.)
Intend to keep my eyes open for future opportunities.

Am sure there are people out there who appreciate what you've been doing for the last few years and how hard that is. You just need to get lucky to a certain degree. I've been watching for vacancies for the local schools for a while. (Would rather chase "real" jobs than approach recruitment agencies.)

wannaBe Mon 07-Mar-16 14:28:41

Yanbu. The job search process is utterly soul destroying. I live in the London area and have been looking for work for the past four years. My situation is different in that I am also visually impaired so am slightly limited in terms of what I can apply for.

But on the whole where we used to live in a society where if you just kept looking something would eventually come up, we now live in an age where it is very much an employer's market, and for the average job here there are between 150/250 applicants meaning that even being shortlisted is purely down to luck the majority of the time.

Even the voluntary sector has changed due to the fact that voluntary work is now touted as a way to get experience on your CV, but voluntary organisations have got wise to this and now applying for a voluntary job is up there with applying for a paid one with full-on applications, references and interviews and such like and is nearly as impossible as getting a paid job. Gone are the days when you could go and volunteer at the local charity for a couple of mornings a week and hope to put that on your CV.

Shesinfashion Mon 07-Mar-16 15:18:07

What about lunchtime assistant in a school? Whilst you only officially work a couple of hours a day, usually there is plenty of opportunity to pick up extra hours as a teaching assistant capacity when regular staff are absent.

The80sweregreat Mon 07-Mar-16 16:06:21

wannabe, I hate to hi jack this thread, but its interesting what you just wrote about volunteer working.
Its so true!
I have been a midday assistant in the past and it was very good and fitted in with the children too, but at that school you needed to have the right face to go on to train up as anything more or become a supervisor or whatever. However, I have a friend who started out as midday( different area, different school) and she was asked if she wanted to train up as a TA and been doing KS1 for many years, so it can work ( if you want to work with children, of course and pay for the relevant exams etc) She really enjoys it, although it is stressful.
It may be an option, OP> I hope your dh can find something too. its so tough out there, even with a full CV and no gaps in employment.

fedupski Mon 07-Mar-16 16:27:01

Thanks for your advice. I'm currently being crb checked to volunteer in DC's school. They're advertising for a TA at the moment for next year and will probably need a few more as time goes on ( it's a fairly new school), so if my face fits I might have a chance this time next year.
It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

Shesinfashion Mon 07-Mar-16 16:33:06

I work practically full time in a TA role. I don't have any appropriate qualifications at all. If you work hard, eager, are flexible they will offer you extra work.

oldlaundbooth Mon 07-Mar-16 16:43:36

Not sure if it's been mentioned but why not try office temping?

The80sweregreat Mon 07-Mar-16 16:53:24

Fedupski, thats all positive. Im sure it will work out for you.
Keep plugging away. [flowers ]

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