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To be torn over whether to encourage discourage DD1 in to a teaching career.

(69 Posts)
jonesthegirl Sun 06-Mar-16 18:27:01

DD1 is in her 2nd year of a Chemistry Degree at Cambridge and as wanted to teach since about being 13. I have always encouraged her to think about a teaching career as that is what she wants. DD1 has also been encouraged by by her auntie my younger sister. She is head of English at a challenging school in Greater Manchester. (though she told me yesterday she is leaving and joining her old grammar school in Kent as just an English teacher ) . Younger sister is giving up her 4 year Head of Department role. This was a challenge and something she really wanted do , she left a girls boarding school for the 'challenge' and to put something back

Dear sister cites many reasons for this decision not least the educational opportunities of her 9 year old DD. (if she stayed in the area her DD would have to continue in private education). However, the clincher for her is the fact she is teaching a bottom set year 9 'Maths' group. This is because they are three Maths teachers short. The second reason is she is the only teacher who can manage the behaviour of a particularly difficult group.

She is an English teacher, not a Maths teacher !

In-light of all this i am torn whether to still encourage DD1 to look for a career in teaching ! The reasons being she will be an excellent teacher in a subject , Chemistry where there is a huge shortage of qualified specialists .

The other reasons what will happen to education if 'nobody' choses to become a teacher has seems to be happening at present.

jonesthegirl Sun 06-Mar-16 18:29:43

Sorry for my 'Dyslexic' use of as and has !

WorraLiberty Sun 06-Mar-16 18:30:35

Would it make any difference at this stage whether you encouraged or discouraged her?

Surely she knows her own mind?

jonesthegirl Sun 06-Mar-16 18:31:38

Teaching at a girls boarding school , in case of any misunderstandings.

Chippednailvarnish Sun 06-Mar-16 18:32:54

She's an adult, it's not actually anything to do with you.

ilovesooty Sun 06-Mar-16 18:34:35

Surely as others have said this is her own decision to make.

PurpleDaisies Sun 06-Mar-16 18:34:40

I agree with worra you don't need to encourage or discourage her to do anything. She's obviously a clever woman who will be more than capable of researching the pros and cons of teaching. The key thing is getting work experience so she knows what she's getting into.

Llareggub Sun 06-Mar-16 18:34:50

I find it startling that you are so involved in your DD's choice of career, and for that matter, the life choices of your sister. Do you regret your own career choice?

ghostyslovesheep Sun 06-Mar-16 18:36:01

it's not really your place - she's an adult and can enter any profession she chooses

littleleftie Sun 06-Mar-16 18:36:03

I am not sure how to put this gently....

How much store do you think DD will put by what you tell her she should or shouldn't do career wise?

From your posts she is an intelligent women, presumably 20ish who is perfectly capable of making her own choices?

Anything my parents had said to me about my career choices at that stage would have been received with a nod and a "Mm that's interesting" before being immediately forgotten.

PurpleDaisies Sun 06-Mar-16 18:36:23

Cross posted with lots of others all saying the same thing.

Let your daughter decide for herself.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 06-Mar-16 18:40:50

same as others, she's old enough to make her own career choices. in gentlest way you need to butt out and leave her to it.

AStreetcarNamedBob Sun 06-Mar-16 18:41:48

Wow a lot of vipers on here who don't value their parents opinion!!

OP isn't asking if she should BAN HER or anything. I"m 29 and ask my mums opinion on everything. From wether we should have a 3rd child to if we should consider moving to a different country.... it's just chat!!

Do none of you ever ask your friends for advice? Maybe the OP is friends with her child <crazy thought>

ghostyslovesheep Sun 06-Mar-16 18:43:27

'Vipers' ? confused blimey the only person being rude is you dear!

PortobelloRoad Sun 06-Mar-16 18:43:50

I's up to her. My DS is also at Cambridge and he is dallying with the idea of teaching. There are many opportunities for teachers in the UK and abroad, different types of school etc. He likes the idea of being a housemaster at a boarding school whilst teaching or perhaps living in the middle east, there is more than one way to do it, plenty of options for your dd to take. There is no guarantee she would be in your sisters situation at all.

If I did a brutal search of myself I would probably prefer he did something better paid but I'm materialistic like that and that's on me.

Duckdeamon Sun 06-Mar-16 18:44:48

She should decide for herself, but if asked I would encourage her to seek a range of work experience and consider the employment conditions and earnings opportunities in a range of occupations. Teaching might not stack up so well against other options for a Cambridge science graduate.

If she's set on teaching, Teach First could be an option that could look good on her CV even if she left!

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 06-Mar-16 18:46:01

get her to research the situation, support her choice.

Chances are that she won't be a teacher for long.

PurpleDaisies Sun 06-Mar-16 18:46:14

The difference is you ask your mother for advice astreetcar. The op has been "encouraging" her daughter towards teaching. That's overstepping the mark in my book and if I were her daughter I would resent it.

allowlsthinkalot Sun 06-Mar-16 18:51:43

I resent parental involvement in my career choices in my twenties. Nobody banned particular choices but strongly discouraged and as someone who grew up with an overly involved mother I didn't have the confidence to make my own decisions.

Also OP, this post is outing your sister.

jonesthegirl Sun 06-Mar-16 19:09:25

We are very close !. DD1 is academically very intelligent , though perhaps not as socially aware as her 17 year old younger sister DD2 . Unlike a large number of 20 year old's she does not believe she knows everything about life. She always takes older and 'wiser' heads opinions when considering her options.

Just because someone is academically bright, does not mean at 20 years old they do not need guidance or support.

What is wrong in telling a child , they would be excellent at something they have wanted to do but high lightning the pros and cons.

I don't have any career , so we can get that 'nastiness' out of the window

My younger sister tells me everything . Is there something wrong with that ?

She has looked at both the Teach First scheme or doing a PGCE . I think she would prefer to do a PGCE, though Teach First offers an 'easier' way out of teaching.

However, if we do not have people like DD1 'PREPARED' to attempt teaching, who is going to give kids a decent education.

grumpysquash3 Sun 06-Mar-16 19:13:16

OP, it sounds like your DD is very set on teaching. I was wondering how come she has ended up doing a chemistry degree rather than teaching as a first degree (Cambridge also offers that at Homerton College)?

ilovesooty Sun 06-Mar-16 19:15:32

I'm sure she's bright enough not to do it with altruistic motives.

Are you generally very involved with your children's education and career choices?

Duckdeamon Sun 06-Mar-16 19:15:51

Your DD has lots of other (better paid and equally "worthy") options too - has she looked at those too?

RockUnit Sun 06-Mar-16 19:19:13

Just because someone is academically bright, does not mean at 20 years old they do not need guidance or support.

People should make up their own minds about careers. Certainly at 20 it's likely that she won't need "guidance" towards a particular career. Non-interfering support yes, guidance no.

However, if we do not have people like DD1 'PREPARED' to attempt teaching, who is going to give kids a decent education.

People who've chosen teaching rather than being persuaded into it, and like it having tried it.

AyeAmarok Sun 06-Mar-16 19:23:21

Teaching is hard these days. But so are many of the other career options. Including in the private sector, which I don't think a lot of public sector workers realise. They compare the career of a middle aged person who has worked their way up with what a new graduate would have these days and it doesn't compare.

She has to make the decision for herself.

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