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To warn PILs about sick kids

(34 Posts)
Katastrophe13 Sun 06-Mar-16 09:34:52

We are due to have lunch with PIL today, they live about 40 mins away. Last two days DS has had temp and a headache/feeling unwell then last night DD vomitted and had diarrhea twice in the night. They both seem fine this morning. I said that we should call PIL and tell them the DC been ill in case they don't want to risk contamination and rearrange. DH says that they would interprete that as us saying we don't want to come and they won't mind about the DC being ill because they are their grandparents. I think it's rude to take potentially contagious children to anyone's house without warning. If it were my grandchildren I think I'd probably rather reaRrange although
I don't have any yet. So is DH being unreasonable or am I going to be a heartless cow of a grandmother?

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 06-Mar-16 09:36:12

I would probably have called them yesterday so yes call them now

SmellySourdough Sun 06-Mar-16 09:36:25

tell them and let them decide

FranHastings Sun 06-Mar-16 09:38:38

God, don't take them. In my experience, you could still be in for a couple of random vomits. I would definitely phone them and explain. There's no way I would either take children who had been ill like that out today to see anyone and 40 minutes is a big journey of they suddenly fall ill again. YANBU. He is!

Arfarfanarf Sun 06-Mar-16 09:39:22

I wouldnt take them tbh. You have no idea yet if they're ok or if when they travel or eat it's not going to trigger more d or v.

Plus as you say they seem fine but are potentially contagious.

Your pil should have that information.

DelphiniumBlue Sun 06-Mar-16 09:39:24

Depends how old they are- if GPs are in their 70s or otherwise frail/ extra susceptible to illness, then tell then.
Otherwise probably not, especially as DC seem OK now.

Arfarfanarf Sun 06-Mar-16 09:41:03

Meant to add that if it was me, I'd suggest he goes on his own and enjoys some time with his parents.

SecretSpy Sun 06-Mar-16 09:41:42

Don't take them, they're ill and probably contagious.

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 06-Mar-16 09:42:26

do not take them.

mot fair on them.or the kids.

if they are the type of person who assumes it's you being an evil witch then frankly I'd let them get on with it and enjoy staying home as I'd not want to bother with them anyway.

Pseudo341 Sun 06-Mar-16 09:43:21

It winds me up when people don't tell about illness. Give them a call, make it very very clear you still want to see them but you understand if they'd rather not risk it, then let them decide.

starry0ne Sun 06-Mar-16 09:44:21

This child is not well... D & V in the night is not a well child..I would send DH on own...Your own DC needs time at home to get well..

Dumbledoresgirl Sun 06-Mar-16 09:44:33

Definitely ring and give them the chance to rearrange if they want to.

I once had to do this when one of my kids was ill the night before going to my parents for Christmas. Fortunately, my parents said come anyway ( I don't think I could have been so accepting if I had been in their position) and fortunately all was well in the end. But it is surely only polite to give the PILs the choice.

Nanny0gg Sun 06-Mar-16 09:51:09

48 rule for school.

And I would most definitely expect to be told!

Gileswithachainsaw Sun 06-Mar-16 09:53:12

. But it is surely only polite to give the PILs the choice

Give them a call, make it very very clear you still want to see them but you understand if they'd rather not risk it, then let them decide

no, they don't get to decide.

the kids are ill. this isn't an emergency work/childcare situation.

the kids shouldn't have to be dragged out ill. it's very selfish to expect otherwise

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 06-Mar-16 10:06:00

You are not being unreasonable. Your DH is acting like an idiot.

I would cancel the visit, a car journey is likely to make your children feel a lot worse as well. What if they are sick in the car?.

angielou123 Sun 06-Mar-16 10:07:07

We wouldn't be going anywhere, no matter who thought what.

gamerwidow Sun 06-Mar-16 10:11:58

I wouldn't, go sick kids are not going to cope well with a 40 minute drive then dinner. It's bad timing but these things happen and if they're ill they're ill and the gps will just have to accept it. Reschedule for next week with apologies.

80sMum Sun 06-Mar-16 10:13:00

YANBU, but I don't think it's fair to ask your PIL to decide whether you should go or not.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sun 06-Mar-16 10:13:08

I wouldn't be able to extract my lot from the house if they were that poorly. D&V sucks, and your husband is a selfish twat for not realising that his children probably need to rest.

Bunbaker Sun 06-Mar-16 10:13:33

"I would cancel the visit, a car journey is likely to make your children feel a lot worse as well. What if they are sick in the car?."

Or what if they need the loo?

alltouchedout Sun 06-Mar-16 10:18:27

If it was dh who had been ill, would he still be insisting on going?
Your dcs need to recover, odd that he can't see that.

sparkleglitterdaisy Sun 06-Mar-16 10:21:02

Absolutely don't take them , if PIL want to visit you & know they're sick then that's up to them . But to drag them out when they're poorly is just not okay .

OhWotIsItThisTime Sun 06-Mar-16 10:23:57

Don't take them and ring pil. You're risking a car covered in puke and shite. They won't want to eat dinner anyway, and nor should they - toast/soup if they can manage it. Plus pil will get it and be very ill as they're older.

QueryQuery Sun 06-Mar-16 10:25:11

Don't go, end of story. Unspeakably unfair to everyone to drag vomity children out.

IHavemyownLighthouseyouknow Sun 06-Mar-16 10:27:46

I'd call them to explain about the sickness & say you & the DC can't go but send DH by himself to theirs for lunch, they can't get upset about that.

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