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To feel miserable on mothers day

(17 Posts)
Danlsb Sun 06-Mar-16 09:18:20

Aibu to feel really sad today? I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks 12 days ago. I have been trying to stay upbeat and positive especially around dd who is 2yrs but struggle when she is in bed. DH has invited his mother and sister to spend Mother's Day afternoon with us ( I over heard MIL saying to DH that she hoped I was not going to still be moping about and ruin the day) my SIL does not have children or any plans to have any. The whole Mother's Day thing seems to have amplified things and I have spent 'my special lie in' in tears. I know I need to move on but I really miss my baby but other than my mum and friend no one else seems to think baby mattered. DH said he was sad but is looking forward to trying again!

TwoKettles Sun 06-Mar-16 09:21:40

Sorry to hear of your loss. You are likely to still be raging with hormones as well as grieving so do be kind to yourself. Your MIL sounds like a charmer! Do what YOU want, today and ignore the old trout. It's your Mothers Day too!

GreyAndGoldInTheMeadow Sun 06-Mar-16 09:22:15

Sorry you're feeling down, and that you have such an insensitive mil. Be kind to yourself today and know thousands of others are struggling today aswel. It's okay to feel sad after what you've been through.

kittybiscuits Sun 06-Mar-16 09:22:50

Poor you. It's a very tough day and no wonder. Is your MIL normally vile? Did you tell your DH what you heard? He sounds highly insensitive, at best. Do what you need to do today and don't worry about anyone else flowers

Lilipot15 Sun 06-Mar-16 09:23:05

flowers for you. Your MIL sounds a piece of work. None of her business if you are "moping" anyway.
Of course it will bring up emotions. Do you have to have the family over if you're feeling rotten? Maybe it would be better if you DH and DD went out for a walk or did something that would make you all smile.

EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife Sun 06-Mar-16 09:23:23

YANBU at all. Sorry to hear about your miscarriage flowers

Of course you will still feel upset, you're probably still in shock and it is a hard thing to go through. Ignore people who say you need to "get over it".

Look after yourself and just try to relax today x

Chamonix1 Sun 06-Mar-16 09:24:42

thanksOP,yadnbu! Of course your baby matters, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mil sounds very insensitive & you would have probably benefited with this Mother's Day just with the three of you this year. Xx

StephenKatz Sun 06-Mar-16 11:13:29

Your MIL sounds like an absolute cow. flowers cake for you OP.

chelle792 Sun 06-Mar-16 11:15:48

How insensitive.

I would be two weeks from my due date now.

It's not easy

PrincessMouse Sun 06-Mar-16 11:20:25

flowers I am sorry Op. You lost a baby, you have a right to be really upset. Your MIL sounds like a real nasty woman. If she can't be supportive then she should stay well away. I hope your DH defended you and in your position I would find it hard not to tell her straight


Noisytraffic Sun 06-Mar-16 11:23:19

flowers What a witch! I hope DH put her in her place.

NeedACleverNN Sun 06-Mar-16 11:24:17

If you want to mourn you mourn.

I lost my baby at only 6-7 weeks of pregnancy and that rocked me and my dh hard. not helped by the fact my mil tried to commit suicide because we didn't tell her first took us a long time to get over it.

Tell you dh you over heard what your mil said and that it was out of order

FuckYouJamieOliver Sun 06-Mar-16 11:37:55

So sorry for you
I had the ' hasn't she got over that yet ' comment
Fuck your Mil , uninvited her or go out

diddl Sun 06-Mar-16 11:46:26

Your husband sounds as heartless as his mum.

Can he not go over to them?

BillBrysonsBeard Sun 06-Mar-16 11:51:58

What an awful, insensitive comment from your MIL. Even if she thought you couldn't hear, she shouldn't even be thinking that. You 'mope' all you want OP, sorry for your loss flowers

yorkshapudding Sun 06-Mar-16 12:02:07

Your MIL is a twat flowers
In your shoes I would tell your DH that you heard what she said and that for this reason I would not be at home during her visit.

Danlsb Sun 06-Mar-16 20:19:00

Thank you all for your support. Unfortunately MIL is a bit of a cow not that DH can see it. Hasn't been too bad as dd and cleaning kept me occupied. Dd is a great escape from having to spend too much time around mil !

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