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To Ask How A Woman Can 'Make The Most Of Her 'Youth'?

(101 Posts)
CranberryPrincess Sat 05-Mar-16 18:07:13

I am in my early twenties and noticed that more and more I have older female family members, bosses, people at work, most women I befriend or meet who are older always go on about 'making the most of your youth' but never say how best to make sure you are doing this :/ or give me examples...they just always simply say it.

I am unmarried with no children atm but hope to

Can anyone elaborate on things a woman can do to 'make the most of her youth' ? or how she can be sure she's doing so ? and some examples smile

thanks :-)

lessthanBeau Sat 05-Mar-16 18:09:01

Travel, wish I had good luck

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sat 05-Mar-16 18:09:03

Shag hot men?

Travel?

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Mar-16 18:09:51

I have never heard of this but if you're hearing this from..

Older family members
Bosses
People at work
Most women you befriend or meet

Have you not asked them to tell you specifically what they mean by it?

JanetOfTheApes Sat 05-Mar-16 18:11:43

I suppose it just means enjoy yourself while you can. Take opportunitites that would be harder or impossible if you had a clutch of children or a large mortgage.

sooperdooper Sat 05-Mar-16 18:12:15

Travel, see the world while you've got no commitments - if I was early 20s again I'd save up and backpack round the world

ABetaDad1 Sat 05-Mar-16 18:13:37

I got married to DW when I was 25. We travelled a lot before we had children and we intend to do it again when they leave home. We both got a good education before that. We also worked very hard and built careers

This is not advice specific to women. I advise anyone to do this if they can before children. It is 10 x harder to do any of these things once you have children.

Don't drift along. These years between teenage and having your own children are years that you can never get back. Make them work for you.

Frika Sat 05-Mar-16 18:29:36

It's an irritating 'youth is wasted on the young' thing, said by people who usually have a very prescriptive idea about what they think you should be doing, and which is almost never what you're actually doing.

Depending on who you listen to, I either wasted my youth by getting together with my now DH at 19, so I didn't do enough shagging around for their tastes, or, alternatively, I wasted my youth doing four degrees, living on fresh air and small change, and bumming around in a series of communes, because I wasnt 'settling down', getting on the 'property ladder', and having the right number of children. And a subset of people think I compounded this by then having a child when I wanted one at 40, rather than 'when you should have'.

Next time someone says it, look serious and understanding, ask exactly it is they 'wasted their youth' on, and ask whether they've considered counselling for their midlife crisis.

angelicjen Sat 05-Mar-16 18:33:15

Travel the world, dance all night, go to beautiful places, meet interesting people, learn stuff, feel scared, be impulsive, use your body before it starts aching and creaking!
Just don't sit on your bum watching telly. You'll do enough of this when you have kids and it's really boring. (The being stuck in bit, not the kids bit!)

jamhot Sat 05-Mar-16 18:37:56

My best advice is to do what you truly want to without worrying too much about what others will think about it. I think most people only figure out way too late that other people's opinions rarely matter.

jamhot Sat 05-Mar-16 18:43:35

The wisdom of Dame Helen Mirren:

CranberryPrincess Sat 05-Mar-16 18:46:38

More clarity in this thread than i've had from all these people in the past few years!

smile

mudandmayhem01 Sat 05-Mar-16 18:54:04

Things I did when i was younger and before I had kids: travel, rock climbing ( including soloing) drugs and all night raves. These are not recommendations but I don't regret any of it, but I hope my kids don't do all of these.

floatinglight Sat 05-Mar-16 18:58:35

Usually people on the extremes will say something like that.

For those who settled down quickly will tell you to enjoy your youth if they missed out on travel, parties, adventures and so on.

For those who went traveling, partying and struggle in later life will tell you not to waste your youth like that.

Hope you find your own balance OP.

MrsNoraCharles Sat 05-Mar-16 19:49:46

I wish I'd had far more sex.

I also wish I'd understood the concept of working to live - I'd have lived in a surfing place and had fun, instead of getting a "good" job and being incredibly
solemn.

However, they are my regrets, not a prescription for how someone else should live.

Do what makes you happy!

Hufflepuffin Sat 05-Mar-16 20:52:08

I thought it meant shag around, but I did that and wish I'd travelled instead. Always thought I didn't have the time or the money but I did!

dangerrabbit Sun 06-Mar-16 00:23:23

I'm loving frika's contribution to this thread:

Next time someone says it, look serious and understanding, ask exactly it is they 'wasted their youth' on, and ask whether they've considered counselling for their midlife crisis.

Fatmomma99 Sun 06-Mar-16 00:27:47

Get a time machine, go forward to you in your 40s. Look at what you like and what you regret. Go back, and fill in the regrets!

Fatmomma99 Sun 06-Mar-16 00:27:57

Read more!

7Days Sun 06-Mar-16 00:35:56

Whatever you do, do something. Get ahead in your career, travel the world, doll your beautiful self up and meet loads of exciting men, have a baby even. Just don't drift along for 5 or ten years.
Early twenties was shit for me. Dead end job, no money, no travelling, boring boyfriends or usery ons.
Be like nessa in gavin and stacey.

FastWindow Sun 06-Mar-16 00:41:37

Go as far as you can. Dye your hair blue, cut it short if you normally go long. At the end of your 20s, things are far harder to change. So change now, for the sake of it! Go to Hong Kong. Or Arizona.

All of it. Why not. You can always come back. I would, given half the idea.

Destinysdaughter Sun 06-Mar-16 00:42:38

Agree with shagging hot men and travelling!

However, conversely, it's much harder to meet a decent guy when you're older and I regret wasting so much time on fuckwit men who I tried to change. If having a family is your goal, don't waste your best years with these men ( just shag them!). Find a slightly older man who's got his own shagging out of his system and wants to settle down.

However I'm still shagging hot men and I'm 50 ( # nevergrowup ) smile

Frika Sun 06-Mar-16 00:44:38

Honestly, I fail to see why we should expect people to live out our fantasies just because they're 22.

Youngsters, do whatever the hell you like. Don't feel you have to live on a beach in Koh Samui, get a tribal tattoo and wear stripy trousers, while having slightly drunken sex with a wide selection of nationalities, just because your senior colleague who regrets getting a mortgage in Surbiton at 20 tells you to. Sit on your ass and eat a cheese sandwich. Join an enclosed order of nuns. Learn to burp all the G8 national anthems. It's your call.

Destinysdaughter Sun 06-Mar-16 00:46:06

I didn't travel when I was younger and regretted it. Finally went to India on my own when I was 47, after being made redundant so still got to do it and really enjoyed it and felt mature enough to handle it, so, some things are possible even if you're older. However I think having kids is the real game changer and does limit your life a lot.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 06-Mar-16 01:30:45

KingJoffrey has it. Shag and travel. If you travel while shagging, there's no bumping into people at the supermarket. Also, I always seem to meet hotter men who wanted to shag travelling.

I did shag and travel (more travelling than shagging, to be fair). And in my 40s I can say I don't feel I wasted my youth. I also worked with charities, doing some good.

However, I WANTED to do those things. If you don't, don't. I would say try not to let embarrassment, fear or relationships stop you doing anything you bloody well want to.

Oh and if Tim, at University in the 1990s, is on here, I wish I'd shagged you.

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