School trip to the cinema, 9pm Friday night

[Cheby]

Ok, so my first AIBU and it's a genuine question.

Last night was a special occasion so DH and I managed a very rare night out together, getting a babysitter in for DD (3).

We went to the cinema to see Zoolander2 (expecting a flurry of responses saying IABU for watching that film, I can take that ).

The film started at 9pm, finishing around 11.15. We settled down in our seat in a mostly empty theatre (maybe 5 couples) when an entire class (30+) of youngish teenage boys (all wearing their school's banded tops) came in. I freely admit that my heart sank.

They initially sat very close to us, filling the back half of the cinema on one side. They were accompanied by 3/4 teacher type figures. So DH and I quietly got up and moved across to the other side of the cinema to give ourselves some space from the general noise and chattering of a large group. Then they spread out in smaller groups across the entire upper half of the cinema, meaning we couldn't move again unless we sat at the front row and had a much poorer view.

The boys were disruptive throughout. They were noisy, loudly talking amongst themselves (shouting in louder bits of the film), shouting out at the film, messing around, shoving seat backs, getting up and down, at one point 5 of them in the row directly behind us got up, walked down the stairs, across the screen, then returned 5 mins later, shoving seat backs as they did so (they didn't leave so presumably weren't going to the toilet).

I asked them politely and then told them slightly less politely to be quiet multiple times. The teachers/supervisors were all sat together at the opposite side of the theatre to us.

I didn't complain to cinema staff for two reasons; one their behaviour was intermittent, every time I asked them to be quiet they would for 10 mins or so then the noise and messing around would slowly ramp up again. And two was that I didn't want to miss any more of the film we had paid £20 to see.

So, AIBU to think that when going to the cinema at 9pm outside school holidays, it's not unreasonable to expect it to be free of school trips? And secondly AIBU to think that if someone has taken the decision to bring a school trip to the cinema at 9pm, the teachers should bloody well supervise their charges, sit within the groups of kids and make sure they know what appropriate behaviour in a public place is?

[Stillunexpected]

But what is the point of seething throughout the film, then coming on here to complain about it? If you spoke to the kids, why did you not speak to the teachers to ask them to control the behaviour? And why did you not speak to the cinema staff who could have done something about it and positioned ushers in the cinema to monitor?

[RueMatisme]

Was it a boarding school? We used to have trips to the cinema, but were there for the 7pm showing on a Friday night, back to school by about 10.30 (allowing time for a quick trip to McDs before getting back on the coach if we wanted). Also, I don't remember there being teachers with us, certainly we all split up to watch different films once we got there.

So, YApossiblyBU :o but YANBU to expect the kids to behave in public.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Write a letter to the Headteacher of the school complaining about their behaviour in public.

[Cheby]

I don't think it's a boarding school.

I explained why I didn't speak to the cinema staff; the behaviour was intermittent and they responded to me asking them to be quiet, even if it was for a short period.

I didn't speak to their teachers because I would have had to find my way to them in the dark, in a fairly full cinema. I knew vaguely where they were sitting, I didn't know exactly who they were.

And I'm not necessarily complaining; I asked whether it's unreasonable to bring kids to the cinema at that time and whether they should be have themselves and be quiet if they are there.

[Cheby]

Email to the head is drafted Goblin. Wanted to get some opinions before sending. I think it gave a dreadful impression of the school.

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

YABU. You should have said to the staff there that if there was one more interruption you would complain and have them all removed...and then done it.

No point grumbling on an Internet forum 12 hours later.

The school should have booked out the screen and then they would have been able to not affect others.

[milkbottle]

That would make me so angry. I would definitely complain to the school. Maybe even ask them to reimburse the £20 I had just wasted on sitting in a cinema listening to other people's noise. UGH - nothing makes me more angry than inconsiderate cinema-goers!

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

It doesn't matter that it was intermittent. And if you couldn't see where the staff were, you should have walked out and found the cinema staff.

[NeedACleverNN]

I would have complained and asked for a refund.

In fact I would have expected the staff to tell me that a school was going to be attending the showing that night so I could decide to watch something else

[ProfGrammaticus]

It's not unreasonable for them to go then.

It is bloody unreasonable for them to behave like that.

[GloGirl]

I would complain to the school. Making the point that the teachers did not notice you reprimanding them. 9pm is a ridiculous time for a cinema, boarding school or not.

My absolutely hatred is to be annoyed throughout the cinema and my new resolve is to move first, then leave if that doesn't help. It gets me SO ANGRY.

[Arkhamasylum]

Why should the OP have had to complain before the staff did something about it?!! Surely it was the job of the accompanying staff members to supervise, without prompting from the cinema audience? OP, YANBU.

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

She shouldn't have HAD to. Ideally they would have sat and watched the film in silence and that would have been that. But the situation was that they were being noisy and so she should have spoken to cinema staff, who are there to ensure everyone's enjoyment, and asked for the group to be removed.

[Stillunexpected]

Yes, email the school but I still say the time to complain was last night. If the behaviour was intermittent, then you should have gone to get staff at the time when it had ramped up, not when you had just asked the students to be quiet. Previously you said that there were only about 5 couples in the cinema, now apparently you couldn't identify the staff because it was fairly full?

[AnneElliott]

I would email the school. The teachers should have been supervising them properly. I'm a Beaver leader and I wouldn't let my Beavers behave like that.

[Blu]

It is not unreasonable of them to be there at that time on a Fri night.
It was completely unreasonable for the teachers not to supervise them properly. The teachers should have kept them together and kept them quiet.
Write to the school.
But I also would have quickly alerted the cinema staff.

[Hulababy]

You needed to complain to the cinema staff really, even if intermittent. You say that they were noisy about 10 minutes after each time you spoke to them - so that is fairly often and persistent tbh. The cinema staff could then have responded and spoken to the group and had the chance to offer you a refund.

Although you would have missed 5 minutes or the film in telling the staff,, it sounds like you missed more of it with the constant asking and persistent noise.

And yes, you can email a complaint about their behaviour to the school. IME it would be acted upon.

[Nataleejah]

I remember school trips to cinema and theatre being very embarrassing because of such behavior from classmates.

[Katenka]

It's not unreasonable for them to be there. It is unreasonable to be noisy.

I would write to the school, which you are doing.

But if I asked them once to be quiet and they continued, I would have gone and spoken to the teachers. If it still didn't stop I would speak to the cinema staff.

I would still let the head teacher know as they probably don't know that their teachers are not properly supervising pupils on trips.

[Cheby]

OK so I accept IABU for not going to complain to cinema staff. I have done in the past for smaller groups of disruptive teens, should have done this time.

Thanks to those who are saying IANBU regarding the group's behaviour, I have drafted an email to the school and I will send it today. I wouldn't go so far as to ask the school to refund our ticket money as has been suggested but I will say that I would like a response from them about how they plan to handle similar situations in future.

For people saying I only have my self to blame, I can't really agree with that. I'm going to continue to blame the teenagers who were loud and disruptive.

[Jesabel]

I'd have got a refund from the cinema.

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

Good idea to inform the school.

But not your business on how they intend to plan for the future.

[Cheby]

Ok, well I guess what I meant was how are they going to assure me that my future cinema visits won't be disturbed by their school trips.

[LottieDoubtie]

I would complain to the school now, and I would have complained to the cinema for a refund last night.

It's not unreasonable for the school to do a trip at that time (are you sure it wasn't a boarding school, can't think of many day schools which would do a recreational trip on a Friday night!).

It is totally unreasonable for the school staff to not have a better handle on discipline- they should have made sure you weren't disturbed.