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Best way to tell the nosy neighbours that we're having a new fence, and their spying days are over?

(48 Posts)
NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Fri 04-Mar-16 23:49:51

Lighthearted, but I do need tips...

Our next door neighbours are very nosy. When we moved in, the fence between our gardens was a 3ft high trellis. They're out gardening all the time, and we couldn't go into the garden without having a 15 minute chat about their roses, hip complaints, latest gnomes etc.

We decided to extend the fence to a 6ft trellis. We let them know and said we needed a higher fence for the plants we planned to plant. They said they were fine with it. It was our fence according to the deeds anyway. We bought the panels and stored them in the garage ready for a sunny weekend.

We came home from work one day to find the alarm going off and the neighbouring skulking about. They said that they'd noticed that the main door to the garage had been open (a lie - it was still deadlocked), so they'd climbed over the back fence to investigate and gone into the garage through the back door (we hadn't locked it, I know, I know). They hadn't realised that the garage had a motion sensor in it linked to the main house alarm.

We realised that they must have gone into the garage to look at the panels. Devious monkeys. Luckily it was Friday and we cracked straight on with the new fence the next morning. We didn't leave the house until it was done and they couldn't get into our back garden anymore.

Well. It turns out that dh and I are both really crap at gardening. The plants we planted haven't done as well as we'd planned.

It was really windy recently and the extended trellis fence has blown over! We've done a temporary fix but we're having it replaced properly by a company in 2 weeks. We're going to have a 6ft solid fence.

At last we'll be able to eat toast without the neighbours waving at us. No one will be able to comment on the fact that we sometimes hang out the washing the night before. Best of all, we'll now be able to choose when we talk to our neighbours. And they won't be able to reach through the trellis and pick our raspberries either. Again, cheeky monkeys.

My question is, how do I tell them that we've decided to have a solid fence? I don't want to offend them. I want them to think it'll benefit them.

We are friendly people by the way - we get on with all our neighbours, although these particular ones are notorious for their nosiness. They once had another neighbour's keys to pick up the post whole they were away. They were seen through the window (night time, lights on) going through desk drawers shock

Jeez I've rambled. Sorry. In the interests of neighbourly relations, how do I tell them that we're about to have a big tall fence blocking their view into our garden and kitchen, and make them think it's for their benefit?

Tarrarra Fri 04-Mar-16 23:52:45

The last fence was too flimsy. You don't want them to be injured by a falling panel, so you've got sturdy ones!

I wouldn't bother. Just have the fence put up and carry on.
They sound like utter nightmares.

WorraLiberty Fri 04-Mar-16 23:58:59

I'm guessing you're over thinking this and they won't actually care that much at all?

NewNameNotTheSame Sat 05-Mar-16 00:00:25

The cheeky bloody gits. I wouldn't have any problem offending people who trespassed on and entered my property without permission! Cheeky monkeys? You're much kinder than I!

"We have decided to go for a solid panel fence, to save you from yourselves really, if you aren't nosing at us all day then you'll be free to find something much more enjoyable and interesting to nose at! smile" - that should do it!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 05-Mar-16 00:02:39

With these particular neighbours I wouldn't give a shiny shit what they thought. About anything. And I'd be grateful if they never spoke to me ever again.

Going through drawers! Breaking in and setting off the alarm! Bloody hell, these fuckers have no shame.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 05-Mar-16 00:05:40

Over thinking much?! You don't. No offence but this isn't even a question, let alone an AIBU! grin

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sat 05-Mar-16 00:05:58

Some excellent tips! They will care. They're interested in every detail of our lives and they also like to casually grill us for information on the neighbours who are no longer speaking to them for various reasons grin

I was having breakfast outside once when she called out "How old do you think I look? I'll be dead soon! Still! I keep on going!" Utter loons.

Arfarfanarf Sat 05-Mar-16 00:08:00

You dont have to tell them anything.
When it's up, if they say anything, say the fence turned out to be so flimsy. We decided we needed something more substantial.

bloodyteenagers Sat 05-Mar-16 00:14:10

I wouldn't tell them a thing. Nosy fuckers. I would see if I could get the solid fence up a lot sooner as well... But because they are cheeky fuckers, I am wondering if they gave the original trellis a helping hand to fall over.

Lucky the police weren't called when they trespassed. That's what I would have done coming home to hearing the alarm. No way would I have gone in alone, not knowing who the fuck was inside.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sat 05-Mar-16 00:16:03

I know I'm over thinking it by the way. What with a toddler and a newborn I think I've been missing adult conversation.

I'm just so excited to think that in a few weeks I'll be able to wander around the garden in the nude if I so wish, and no one will know.

I never would, but it's nice to have the option.

Thanks for humouring me grin

lorelei9 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:19:59

blimey, I wouldn't bother.

they are nosey gits, don't say anything and they might actually take the hint.

I would have reported them to the police for going to look in your shed, that was trespass and it activated your alarm, yes?

Fatmomma99 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:20:40

I think your key is that they are keen gardeners and your previous flimsy fence blew over.

So you can tell them you've got a more solid one to save their precious garden from any future damage.

You're doing it as a favour, from the goodness of your hearts, to preserve their garden.

Or, tell them the truth - that you appreciate your privacy.

lorelei9 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:20:56

OP "I was having breakfast outside once when she called out "How old do you think I look? I'll be dead soon! Still! I keep on going!" Utter loons."

I'm surprised you didn't shout back "Can't come soon enough can you keep going quietly...?"

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sat 05-Mar-16 00:21:02

I wouldn't put it past them
bloodyteenagers but I actually saw the old fence come down.

They're certainly are a complete pain. I've never been very friendly with them since the trespassing. Dh arrived at the same time as me.

We're both good at the incredulous stare when someone's digging a big hole by lying. They knew we knew. Grrr.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sat 05-Mar-16 00:23:12

Excuse the typos. Feeding DS and sleep deprived.

NewNameNotTheSame Sat 05-Mar-16 00:23:18

I'm sure they'll be at a top rear window so they don't miss a thing! Or poppin the wood knots out of the panels to peep through grin nice slather of vandal grease on top of the panels for when they no doubt climb up for a nose over the minute you go out. Just don't forget your warning sign, on your side of the fence wink

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sat 05-Mar-16 00:27:04

Ha! Good idea grin

Their house is a bungalow with no loft conversion thank goodness, so they won't be able to spy.

Our cats are fond of their flowerbeds - karma. To be fair they've never mentioned it and I did feel guilty, until the trespassing incident.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 05-Mar-16 00:38:19

"poppin the wood knots out of the panels to peep through"
You can't beat a walled garden. Just sayin'.

amarmai Sat 05-Mar-16 00:43:25

put the trellis back on against the solid fence and replant -the more layers you have between you and that lot the better!

ChickyChickyParmParm Sat 05-Mar-16 00:51:51

Tell them you were concerned about trespassers and give them the hard stare.

Friendlystories Sat 05-Mar-16 01:12:00

We did this, 3ft fence when we moved in, no privacy, lots of unwanted small talk with NDN. We had 6ft solid panels put up without informing them and got collared for the 'don't you like us anymore' conversation the following day! We had the perfect excuse though, our rescue dog was arriving the following week and they have small children so no offence <no pun intended grin> could be taken. The privacy is bliss, you could get a dog or say you're getting one and then change your mind OP wink

lizzydrippingsghost Sat 05-Mar-16 06:41:20

maybe they cant wait for the fence to be put up, maybe they make polite conversation in the garden but are also thinking "fucking hell i cant even go in the garden for peace and quiet"
maybe the alarm was going off and they climbed over the fence to stop you being robbed ,you wouldnt be slagging them off then,you have no proof they set the alarm off
your cat shits in their garden they never complain, but you think as they are nosy they should put up and shut up
maybe just maybe they are being neighbourly because thats what civilised people do
i make small talk with my neighbours, i take the parcels in,and generally help out like people do but i cant stand them i smile and nod and keep the peace
just a thought

Fidelia Sat 05-Mar-16 06:41:47

Hmmm, I also wonder whether they gave your trellis a helping hand? Maybe make sure this fence has those concrete posts?

MoltoIncazzata Sat 05-Mar-16 06:44:30

Obviously you tell them you're getting a family of goats and you'll need the stronger fence to keep them in!


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