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To think this is enough to call the police?

(33 Posts)
haggislagis Fri 04-Mar-16 10:43:05

Broke up with an ex a few minths ago. Was getting texts everyday and silent calls to my home and work too- at least one on each a day. Then came the suicide guilt trip when zi didnt reply.

I called the police, more out of concern than anything who gave him a verbal warning. This was 2 weeks ago. Not heard a peep since.

Woke up this morning from a text saying it was a friend of his thanking me for my concern.

Should i call the police?

New DP thinks im being ridiculous

ImperialBlether Fri 04-Mar-16 10:44:32

I don't think there's anything to tell the police, is there?

MTPurse Fri 04-Mar-16 10:47:36

What are You actually going to report?

AuntieFlaubert Fri 04-Mar-16 10:49:17

It sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you for being with new DP. Nothing more for the police to do at the moment - just carry on ignoring.

squishee Fri 04-Mar-16 10:49:29


Mooey89 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:49:31

I wouldn't, but I would document it, then if you get more you have evidence of multiple 'low level' contacts.

TopHat33 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:50:11

I don't understand. To report his friend texting you?

10storeylovesong Fri 04-Mar-16 10:52:13

Do you know this friend? If it was a Police Information Notice he was given (colloquially known as a harassment warning) then I suspect this wouldn't be enough. They are advised though not to make contact through a 3rd party so no one should be contacting you. I would start to keep a log with any contact and keep hold of the text (maybe screenshot it and email it to your awful) in case this is just the start of it happening again.

Fwiw, I don't think you're being ridiculous. Harassment is a horrible offence which is usually designed to make the recipient feel like they're being daft or no one will believe them. Google a charity named Palladin - they can help a lot.

10storeylovesong Fri 04-Mar-16 10:53:09

Account* not awful!

haggislagis Fri 04-Mar-16 10:53:48

Sorry I wasnt very clear in my post. They gave him a verbal warning not to contact me again.

I dont know if this is a) him just texting me saying its someone else or b) someone else texting me but this is his way of getting to me iyswim

Collaborate Fri 04-Mar-16 10:57:21

I think it's worth going to the police over. If he's asked a friend to contact you then it's really him who is contacting you, ergo he's in breach of the order.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 04-Mar-16 11:08:35

Report the text to the police. Don't reply to it.
It's not a 'waste of their time' to report that someone who has previously had a verbal warning for stalking you has attempted to make contact again. Whether it's a friend of this cock's or just him on a burner phone or whatever, you don't want any contact and therefore should not be subjected to it.

Hennifer Fri 04-Mar-16 11:14:08

Don't reply, and do log it with the police. If it escalates, tell them again. Keep the messages.

haggislagis Fri 04-Mar-16 11:26:00

Will they not do anythig this time round? He was told not to contact me and he has

mouldycheesefan Fri 04-Mar-16 11:31:42

Change your mobile number.

Hennifer Fri 04-Mar-16 11:33:14

I don't know. I think you should speak to them and ask.

joyfulworld Fri 04-Mar-16 11:39:50

Yes, why not change your mobile number instead?

haggislagis Fri 04-Mar-16 11:46:58

Dont think theres any point. Plus i cant really because of work and it will be a massive faff getting my number to different people

mouldycheesefan Fri 04-Mar-16 11:49:25

If it's worth calling the police surely it's worth the 'massive faff of telling people your new number. You just send a mass text saying this is haggis new number. It's one text. Job done. Then ex partner won't have your number and can't contact you rather than continue doing so and you call the police every time.

Ginkypig Fri 04-Mar-16 11:57:25

Only the police can decide if it's worth pursuing.

Call and tell them the history and their involvement so far and then tell them about the new txt. If they think it warrants looking into they will, they will probably add the new information on your current case.

Do not reply to the txt though. Do not ever engage ok.

Good luck.

WitchWay Fri 04-Mar-16 11:57:46

Would his friend have any reason to contact you independently of exP? If not I'd let the Police know.

ClarenceTheLion Fri 04-Mar-16 13:02:54

It's probably a ruse to get more attention from you again.

I read a book on stalkers recently, and the golden rule is NO contact at all. If he has died, you'll find out sooner or later and there's nothing to be done anyway. And contacting police also starts it all up again. "She went to the police to make sure I'm okay! She loves me! I'm going to win her!"

Unless something happens to actually frighten you, don't give him any oxygen to keep this going.

ClarenceTheLion Fri 04-Mar-16 13:05:43

Will they not do anythig this time round? He was told not to contact me and he has

A chat with the police is not like a restraining order. He hasn't broken the law by texting you from a friends phone, which is most likely, he's just gone against their request.

From what you say, it seems like it's all dying down. The last thing you want to do is fan the flames back up!

SolidGoldBrass Fri 04-Mar-16 17:45:15

Why should OP change her phone number because of this creepy prick? He's the one in the wrong.

And if she has recieved another text from him, or on his behalf, then it's not 'all dying down', it's starting up again.

Hennifer Fri 04-Mar-16 17:50:36

I think the police are very quick to tell people to change their number. Certainly in my experience it's been their main suggestion, sometimes their only suggestion.

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