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to be hurt my DD (6) doesn't call me mummy anymore?

(71 Posts)
officebairn Thu 03-Mar-16 13:15:14

Am I being a big baby or is that a little bit early?

I've asked my DH to always say 'Oh show it to Mummy' or 'See what Mum thinks of that' etc. but he doesn't. He often calls me my first name in front of them and to them. It's sort of upsetting because it's clearly rubbed off on her and she's stopped calling me Mummy or Mum at all now.

Anyone else had this? Is it hopefully just a phase?

LemonBreeland Thu 03-Mar-16 13:18:50

So she is calling you by your first name? Not unreasonable to be upset. You need to keep reminding her that you are Mum, not officebairn.

DH calls me by my name around the DC, but not to them. IF he was talking about me to them he would use Mummy.

FigMango1 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:21:05

Why should he call you mummy if he's speaking directly to you, that's really odd.
You say when he speaks to them he calls you mum so what's the problem?
Your dd is old enough for you to tell her this upsets you. You're her mum not her pal so she should address you accordingly.

CaptainCrunch Thu 03-Mar-16 13:22:24

I think it's refreshing he does that. You're a person, not just their mum.

HappinessLivesHere Thu 03-Mar-16 13:22:39

My cousins have called their dad by his first name since they could talk. They call their mum 'mum' despite having an equally close relationship with both. It's very odd!!

officebairn Thu 03-Mar-16 13:24:44

For instance if he wanted her to give me something he'd say "take it over to Nat, she'll do it for you" rather than "Mummy's over there, go and let her help you" and my DD thinks it's funny to say "here you are Nat" or "Thank you Natalie" rather than Mummy like she used to. He's not doing it on purpose I know that but it doesn't half unnerve me...

popcornpaws Thu 03-Mar-16 13:25:07

I think most children go through a phase of this, but i can't honestly say it ever bothered me, my adult DD calls me mum sometimes, other times its popcornpaws, its not an issue to me at all.

neolara Thu 03-Mar-16 13:26:47

My eldest two have been calling me by my name for two years. I think it's here to stay. I don't like it.

TeenAndTween Thu 03-Mar-16 13:28:31

YANBU, it would bother me too.

Your DH should say 'Take it to Mummy/Mum'.
You need to correct your DD each time she calls you by your first name.

HeffalumpHistory Thu 03-Mar-16 13:29:49

I'm gutted ds (4) sometimes says mum not mummy so fully get where you're coming from.
I think as a pp said, she's old enough for you to be able to address this with her. At 28 I could never imagine calling my mum by her name, she's mum/nanny & forever will be.
Ask dh again to address you as mummy when speaking to the children

FigMango1 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:30:11

Ok i see what you mean now. I don't think Yabu. I think you need to tackle it with your dd instead. She's old enough. Why don't you correct her?

Happymummy007 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:33:35

DD is 10 and still calls me "Mummy" at home, but when she's talking to her friends I'm "mum". Being called "Mummy" at home won't last forever, but I'm enjoying it while it does. I'm sure it helps that my DH and I refer to each other as "mummy and daddy" when we are talking to her.

I don't think you're silly to feel hurt that the "mummy" phase has gone; you just have to embrace it as long as you have it.

U2HasTheEdge Thu 03-Mar-16 13:34:59

My girls call their dad by his first name. They do it because my three children from my previous marriage call him by his first name so they have just copied it. I have told them a few times to call him dad but they never remember and it doesn't bother my husband.

If my husband was referring to me with the children he would call me mum, 'go show mum your picture' etc. I would think it was a bit strange if he referred to me as my first name when taking about me to the children.


U2HasTheEdge Thu 03-Mar-16 13:36:31

I don't think you're silly to feel hurt that the "mummy" phase has gone; you just have to embrace it as long as you have it.

She isn't even called mum, her dd calls her by her first name.

MunchMunch Thu 03-Mar-16 13:40:52

I wouldn't like it, I'm mam/mammy to my dc, however! I'm 38 and a couple of years ago jokingly called my mam Lez (Lesley) as she hates it shortened down anyway and it's kind of stuck even though I know she doesn't like it as she always says "it's Mam to you!". I do call her mam though 9 times out of 10.

VagueIdeas Thu 03-Mar-16 13:42:42

For instance if he wanted her to give me something he'd say "take it over to Nat, she'll do it for you"

That's really, really weird.

I have never known a father to talk to their child like that!

I was going to say it's a phase and she'll stop, but she's actively being taught to call you by your name so that's different.

Two things:

Tell your DD that you're her mum and only she can call you mum, so that's what you want to be called.

Tell DH to stop being a knob.

TattyCat Thu 03-Mar-16 13:46:12

I always called my parents by their first names. Well, I don't remember a time when I didn't but I suppose I might have called them mum and dad at some point. My brother started it!! He NEVER referred to them as M&D.

Yet when I talk to DP or other people about them, I call them mum and dad, mostly - mainly so they know who I'm talking about!

TattyCat Thu 03-Mar-16 13:47:31

And both my parents referred to their first names in front of us too. Never said 'take it to your mum/dad'.

liquidrevolution Thu 03-Mar-16 13:47:56

He's being an arse. Start doing it back to him but call him dick instead of his real name.

Your poor DD must be a bit confused!

CreamofTartar Thu 03-Mar-16 13:48:44

My son is three and has called me by my first name for at least a year. He was very tickled to find DH and I had 'other names' and has stuck to those. He also calls his grandparents by their first names. His call, surely.

Anyway, I hate 'Mummy'. I'm not from the UK and to me it has a slightly shrill, middle-class ring to it.

TattyCat Thu 03-Mar-16 13:49:12

I wouldn't say it made my parents 'arses', or 'knobs'. It's just the way we did things and doesn't affect anyone else so it's none of their business!

tinyterrors Thu 03-Mar-16 13:49:15

Yanbu about wanting to be called mum or mummy. I wouldn't dream of calling my parents by their first names and I'm 28.

My dcs have gone through short phases of calling me and dh by our first names but it's always been joking, they were corrected every time and call us mum/mummy and dad/daddy usual. My dcs would be in bother if they thought it okay to call us by our first names, we're their parents not their friends.

I'd be having words with your dh if I were you. It's fair enough foe him to call you by your first name when talking to you but when referring to you to your dcs he should use mummy/mum.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but to me it's a sign of respect to call your parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents by their titles (mum/dad/nan etc) rather than their first names.

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 03-Mar-16 13:50:57

My daughter is 12 and in private I am Mummy again, but from about 4 I was Mum. I think she is a bit unnerved by growing up and 'Mummy' is reassuring to her. At around 2 & 3 she called me by my first name for a while which seems to be a normal stage with many children. She called me 'stupid' the other night, that won't happen again angry
Just remind her, you are her Mum but to her Dad you are Sarah or whatever.

ComeonSummer1 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:52:15

With you op.

My oldest is 26 and my dh reverts to me in front of him as 'your mum'

Your dh is being strange. As for your dd ignore her until she calls you mum. It's rude to call another person by a name they don't like.

tinyterrors Thu 03-Mar-16 13:53:15

It's different if you don't mind your children calling you by your first name, clearly op does mind as would I.

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