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not spending mothers day with my mum?

(7 Posts)
MrsH1989 Thu 03-Mar-16 07:18:26

Both my sisters have text me over the last couple of days asking what we are doing for Mother's day. I have told them both the same thing, that I wasn't planning on seeing my mum this weekend as DS has something on 1-3pm (not sure if he is going yet though) and I am at theirs next weekend so will post her a card and give her a present next weekend. They live just over an hour away so it's not like I can just pop round like they can, (younger sister lives at home and older 20 mins away). I try to avoid going down consecutive weekends as it always gets a bit expensive. My older sister didn't text back when I said I wouldn't be there and my younger just said they will take her out and we can do something next weekend too. I feel guilty now but I don't think I have doe anything wrong. I also think they forget that I am a mother myself and would like some time with my son on mother's day (they have no children). aibu?

Muskateersmummy Thu 03-Mar-16 07:21:38

Yanbu. I would potentially send some flowers to arrive this weekend but otherwise I see no issues with this at all. I live about 4 hours from my dad, we never see him on Father's Day. I send a card and call on the day and give him a gift when I next see him or send something in the post.

Your sisters are being unreasonable

DurhamDurham Thu 03-Mar-16 07:34:33

I'm spending Mothers Day with my husband and two girls who both left home last September, one to start Uni the other to work. We are meeting up to go to a new restaurant we've been wanting to try for ages, it's Caribbean food which my mum may like but won't even try so I won't be seeing her. It's hard keeping everyone happy, my girls always want to arrange something nice, we sometimes invite my parents along, sometimes not. My parents came along last year to a cafe/bar the girls had chosen and my dad just sat there moaning because they served his drink in a jam jar grinTo be fair I thought that was a bit odd too but it didn't spoil the day for me!

I'm taking my mum out for afternoon tea on Saturday and I'll give her a card and her present then. I also have a brother and sister but as they never do anything for my parents they have very low expectations placed on them and so they never disappoint. Unfair, but it is what it is and I'll be dammed if I worry about it/ try to overcompensate anymore.

Cornishclio Thu 03-Mar-16 08:16:45

I think that sounds ok and you shouldn't feel guilty. I live 4 hours from my mum so won't see her Mother's Day as I am going up in a few weeks time for almost a week. I have sent flowers and a card. One of my daughters lives 3 hours away from us and is coming down to stay with us next weekend and has said she wants to take me out of tea then. I would rather go out when it is quieter anyway. My younger daughter is married with her own baby so I would never assume she would see me Mother's Day. Everyone puts way too much pressure on this perfect ideal of all mothers spending time with their children on Mother's Day but we often are daughters, mothers and grandmothers and sometimes live miles apart so it is not always practical or desirable. For many years Mother's Day for me was spent with my MIL as she lived locally and my OH organised us all to go out together regardless of how I felt. I would rather have just spent it with my daughters.

boredofusername Thu 03-Mar-16 08:20:36

I never see my mum on Mother's Day or my dad on Father's Day.

And I will be out running at a race on Sunday, no going out for an overpriced and probably fairly rubbish lunch with the family!

However, it's also my birthday next week so we save the celebrations for that.

Durham - love the drink in the jam jar smile

Hygellig Thu 03-Mar-16 09:51:13

I'm not seeing my mum this Mother's day as we are away visiting DH's family as it's his nephew's birthday. I don't really make a big deal about Mother's Day (I see my mum quite often anyway as she lives nearby). If you're there next weekend and are sending a card in the meantime, I think that's absolutely fine.

BugPlaster Thu 03-Mar-16 10:54:51

YANBU. Your last point is important: they don't have children and don't see the day from that perspective, never mind the logistics you mentioned.

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