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Who is BU- me or neighbour?

(356 Posts)
SmashingBumpkins Wed 02-Mar-16 10:09:22

We get on well with our neighbours. We're not 'friends' as such but will always stop for a chat etc.

Yesterday I saw the woman at the corner shop and we walked home together having a chat.
On the way, she mentioned that I woke them up that morning with my hairdryer and, subtly, asked if I could not use the hairdryer early in the AM. With the way she asked she wasn't really asking for a response or even a conversation about it, just kind of mentioning it in passing I guess in the hope I'll change my routine IYSWIM. So, I didn't respond there and then.

I got home at told DH. He was really miffed about it and said she was very U and I should have told her to bugger off.

This hairdryer usage doesn't happen every day- 3 or 4 weekdays I shower at the gym so don't use a hairdryer at home. On the weekend, I either don't bother drying it or I'm doing it at about 10am.
So a couple of work days a week I do dry my hair at home and it's about 6am when I'm doing it- I recognise that this is v early for some!

I can't really dry my hair elsewhere in the house as the other 2 bedrooms are occupied by DCs and in the living room is the dog who's terrified of the hairdryer and will bark like a mad thing causing more noise.
DH said I'm mad for even considering sneaking around the house in the morning using the hairdryer somewhere inconvenient for me just to avoid inconveniencing the neighbours.

So, AIBU to be using the hairdryer at 6am a couple of days a week? Or is she BU to mention it?

I should say it's quite a powerful hairdryer and we have quite thin walls (we can hear their phone ringing, for example).

longdiling Wed 02-Mar-16 10:13:30

I think you would be unreasonable to continue to use the hairdryer, yes. It's not really essential is it? Can you not wash your hair in the evening or just let it dry naturally?

BarbarianMum Wed 02-Mar-16 10:13:36

It's a powerful hairdrier and you are aware the walls are thin. So not that unlikely that it disturbs them.

Your neighbour is not BU to mention it politely - why would she be? 6am is pretty early. Could you not maybe use it downstairs?

Samcro Wed 02-Mar-16 10:14:56

yabu, they can be bloody noisy

AliceInUnderpants Wed 02-Mar-16 10:15:01

So you don't want to wake up your DC,but happy to wake up the neighbours?


SouthWesterlyWinds Wed 02-Mar-16 10:16:30


6am? Are you in commuterville? I would be peeved at a 6am hairdryer call as a couple of workdays is 2 out of 5 at least. if you can hear their phone ring then they can definately hear your powerful hairdryer. Can you not wash your hair the night before?

SmashingBumpkins Wed 02-Mar-16 10:18:16

Definitely can't wash my hair the night before or let it dry naturally- frizz bomb!

IceRoadDucker Wed 02-Mar-16 10:18:28

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable. It's annoying to be woken up at 6am and it's annoying to be inconvenienced for something you can't help (thin walls).

The only one being unreasonable is your husband for wanting to tell her to bugger off!

Personally I would try to compromise. Wash hair in the evening instead of the morning? Get a quieter hairdryer? Put the dog in the kitchen while you use the living room for 10 minutes? If there isn't a workable, reasonable solution then I think you're reasonable to continue. But I wouldn't dig my heels in for the sake of it like your husband wants you to.

Gobbolino6 Wed 02-Mar-16 10:19:37

Kitchen maybe? She was nice about it after all.

SmashingBumpkins Wed 02-Mar-16 10:20:21

IceRoad DH is a heel digger kind of person. I sometimes worry that his perspective rubs off on me, hence asking MN!

FaithlessOne Wed 02-Mar-16 10:20:43

I don't think you're being unreasonable. A bit of noise is part and parcel of living in terraced/semi-detached houses.

Meh! I wouldn't change my routine.

Wineandrosesagain Wed 02-Mar-16 10:20:46

How ridiculous - you should continue to dry your hair using your hairdryer in your bedroom! It's a couple of days a week, and I don't think 6am is early either - many working people get up between 6 and 7 (those of us who commute long distances get up much earlier). Lol at the "can you not wash your hair in the evening or let it dry naturally" - if your hair is anything like mine both of those solutions would leave me looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge.

Notonthestairs Wed 02-Mar-16 10:21:11

Sorry I am probably missing the point here but if frizz is the problem maybe try straightners?

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 02-Mar-16 10:21:18

Part of living in adjoining houses is hearing other people's noise, if that is something people cannot accept then really a detached house is something you need to look in to.

I think she is being unreasonable.

exLtEveDallas Wed 02-Mar-16 10:21:28

I don't think yabu. Two mornings out of 7 you dry your hair at 6am. So what? Unless your hair is down to your arse and takes an hour every morning then it's what? 10 minutes of 'white noise'. Neighbour is being ridiculous and if it's disturbing her that badly then maybe she should invest in some earplugs.

Rosenwyn Wed 02-Mar-16 10:22:32

Can you put bookshelves against the shared wall - books are good for absorbing sound, and could save you being disturbed too.

Oldraver Wed 02-Mar-16 10:22:53

I think its part and parcel of living attached to someone. She needs to suck it up or buy some earplugs

SmashingBumpkins Wed 02-Mar-16 10:22:59

Notonthestairs Straighteners don't work- my hair curls from the very root so I end up with big 'wedge' things like I've had extensions glued in on top of my head. Also, very bad for your hair!

BitOutOfPractice Wed 02-Mar-16 10:24:12

I think as she mentioned it nicely, it would be nice to try and accomodate her. I would be a bit miffed to be woken at 6am

Maybe straighteners are your friend

IceRoadDucker Wed 02-Mar-16 10:24:24

Well, to be fair, a hot hair dryer is bad for your hair too.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 02-Mar-16 10:24:31

Sorry x post

lilypadpod Wed 02-Mar-16 10:25:03

YABU and inconsiderate to use it in a room where it disturbs them at 6am. Would you vacuum or use other noisy equipment at 6am?

Why not move the dog so you can dry hair in the living room? Or wash and dry hair the night before. It sounds like you don't want to adapt or alter your routine yet think it's ok to wake up the neighbours confused

SmashingBumpkins Wed 02-Mar-16 10:25:33

IceRoad Oh I know but then adding extra heat directly on the hair is adding to the problem.

FaithlessOne Wed 02-Mar-16 10:27:23

A hairdryer isn't exactly excessive. She's not banging nails in a wall!

If your neighbour wants no noise, she needs to buy a detached house. Bollocks to altering your routine. Pffft!

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 02-Mar-16 10:27:51

This is one of those threads where I think half those responding live in another world.

6am on a weekday is not that early. It's a perfectly average time to be up and getting ready for work.

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