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AIBU?

A FB AIBU so not all that dramatic

23 replies

GrinAndTonic · 02/03/2016 07:20

So my DM has form for sharing Britain First (we are in Australia too!), anti Islam, anti refugee, anti Halal, Reclaim Australia and all that other crap on Facebook. I have asked her to not send it to me, as in change her settings. Her response is that she just shares what is sent to her which is a stupid response I know. Anyway, today I did a general FB post telling people that while I understand we all have different opinions and beliefs I would prefer that they change their settings so I don't have to see those particular posts or I would just unfollow them. It was just a subtle hint to DM. It's bad enough I get all the woo stuff from my Aunt and Godmother but that is just laughable and not offensive.

So DM today said she wouldn't so I have unfollowed her. I know this is not a life changing event with global consequences but I feel a bit guilty for doing it.
Tell me I ANBU and I am not a bad daughter.

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Ameliablue · 02/03/2016 07:22

You need to change your settings rather than them. If you see a Britain first post on your timeline there should be a little arrow beside which gives the option to hide all by Britain First.

1Fortheroad · 02/03/2016 07:23

I would have done the same. You asked her and her response was to totally ignore. She knows the reason why you unfriended her so leave it there.

slebmum1 · 02/03/2016 07:27

I would hide her not unfriend her just for an easier life.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 02/03/2016 07:28

I hid Britain First posts ages ago. YANBU though. My mil shares these posts and it irritates me beyond all proportion.

SmallBee · 02/03/2016 07:29

I think I'd have just opted to either unfollow her and let her know why, or block AOL Britain first posts so I didn't have to see them.
I don't know how to share a post to everyone but a specific person without just deleting them.
YANBU though for standing up against hateful speech.

5Hearts · 02/03/2016 07:31

I don't follow loads of people - nothing to feel guilty about.

I agree - you need to change your settings. When you see a post like that just click on the top right hand side corner and 'hide post - see less posts like this'. If someone, like your DM, gets too much then nothing wrong with unfollowing and just checking up on them every once in a while if you want to - hiding all the irritating posts.

lighteningirl · 02/03/2016 07:33

It's far easier for you to block Britain's first than it is for her to exclude you from her posting so yes yabu but I get your pain I was and am disgusted by the bullying aggressive left wing posting during and after the election and deleted several people but I block Britain's First posts really easily, I wish I could block all political/cancer guilt tripping/animal cruelty posting. I use fb to connect socially but lots of people use it to bulldoze their political views through because they are incapable of reasoned discussion so for that reason yanbu. Fence, me, sitting.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces · 02/03/2016 07:34

Small, you can create a custom audience that includes different people. Then you can select from a drop down.

It's quite a pain, especially if posting quickly. FB makes it much easier for the recipient to "default hide" things, so OP should probably have done that from the start.

squashtastic · 02/03/2016 08:33

If you are going to be an offensive racist then you should have the decency to choose your audience.

YANBU

GrinAndTonic · 02/03/2016 08:35

I haven't blocked her just unfollowed her so I don't see any of her posts. She doesn't post anything that I need to know about. Ever. It is just trashy stuff like above or posts to her partner.
I have hid all the Britain First etc but there are insane amounts of those pages that I am having trouble keeping up.
I know I am a bit U but she is soooooo annoying

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AdrenalineFudge · 02/03/2016 08:36

Yabu, the onus is on you to block/unfollow not for others to change their settings to appease you. But no, this doesn't put you in the category of bad daughter.

SmallBee · 02/03/2016 08:36

Squash I was going to write something similar but I think offensive racists typically don't have much decency!

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces · 02/03/2016 08:45

Yeah, sorry, YANBU not to want to see it!

GrinAndTonic · 02/03/2016 08:48

She has now filled her page with random news stories and has commented above each one
I am not anti-drunk
I am not anti-ducks
I am not anti-eye gouging (article about eye gouging)

Sometimes I wish my mother never discovered facebook

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squashtastic · 02/03/2016 08:49

Fair point Bee!

Outaboutnowt · 02/03/2016 08:52

YANBU to not want to see it, but I think it would be easier for you to unfollow the people as its in your control then.

Having said that, I don't hide Britain First posts because I like to know who shares them and agrees with the crap they spout, so I can unfriend the racists and bigots.
My news feed is very positive and non racist now

MartinaJ · 02/03/2016 09:01

I dumped and blocked good friends when they started sharing racist/variousphobic posts. I blocked my father for a while when he went on befriending people on my list just because they are my friends (even though he doesn't understand a word they say). When he calmed down, I unblocked him but I will do it again. I also posted a note on my FB that anyone who posts like there's a square mustache growing underneath their nose will be dumped and blocked from my FB and no exceptions. I stick to it, family or no family, friends or no friends. I hate that drivel with passion and even though I enjoy a very eclectic circle of FB friends, Nazis have no place on it.

DiscoGlitter · 02/03/2016 15:59

There's no need to block or unfriend, or ask her not to share.
As horrible as her posts may be, you can't tell someone what they can and can't share to their wall.
I wouldn't like it either (and hid Britain First ages ago) but YOU need to hide her posts, not the other way roound.
Just hover over the right hand side of the posts and a little drop down box will appear saying "hide Britain First" and you won't ever see the posts again.
Do the same for any other group posts she shares.

GrinAndTonic · 02/03/2016 21:59

I am not the only one who has completely blocked her. She has been wondering why no one posts on her FB wall. The general fb comment of mine was an attempt to drop hints to her as she gets all worked up and offended at the slightest thing (I have written on MN before about DM). My DB has asked her to stop sharing such things as she will lose more of the few friends she has. I know that the guilt she has installed in me will kick in soon but I am enjoying the few days of no 'anti moslem' pages littering my fb feed.
Thanks for the advice and opinions.
Sometimes AIBU can be helpful.

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SistersOfPercy · 02/03/2016 23:12

I concluded I had little in common with anyone who shared this crap so just unfriended. This included most of DH's family.

Fatmomma99 · 03/03/2016 00:03

I think I love you for being so principled.

Would you like to marry me? I'm sure it would work (fyi, I'm not racist!)

hogbreath · 03/03/2016 01:33

I have a friend who posts these (also in Australia) lots of anti this and that as well as the "fuck off were full" quite amusing when you realise she herself is a fairly recent immigrant.

GrinAndTonic · 03/03/2016 02:24

Ahh yes the fuck off were full pages. Always a classic.
At the moment it's the ban cadbury easter eggs as they are halal. Id ban cadbury because it tastes like shit now because it's halal.

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