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to ask you what untraceable items I can send to my annoying boss?

(54 Posts)
DrSeuss Tue 01-Mar-16 18:39:56

OK, so I'll almost certainly never do it but it cheers me up to dream!
My boss was an Olympic torch bearer. I know because she NEVER mentions it!
My boss has awards on a shelf in her office. I finally got close enough to them to see that they are all ten years plus old!
My boss knows everything. About everything. And everyone else knows nothing.
My boss is a supercilious, actually not that bright knobber who needs sorting.
I like this.
Like I said, I'll probably never do it but I'd enjoy any suggestions!

BillSykesDog Tue 01-Mar-16 18:42:54

Apparently John Paul Getty's ear was a right bummer.

BitchSlapBingBunny Tue 01-Mar-16 18:45:55

A running joke I have with a close friend is to borrow items from her house and then post them back - via friends across the world. So her fridge magnet from China, her tea spoon from Portugal, a place mat from Greece...

Could you nick items from the office and have them posted?

MagicalHamSandwich Tue 01-Mar-16 18:46:19

Came on to suggest but you've obviously already had this idea ...

Taking a more sensible approach, can you do anything to actually improve your relationship with her? I've pretty much befriended my awkward boss by now and it turns out he's actually lovely - just not a grand master at social skills.

DrSeuss Tue 01-Mar-16 18:50:51

It's the pretentiousness that gets to me. I read somewhere that Emma Thompson keeps her Oscars in the loo. The boss' shelf contains naff, ancient industry specific awards but they still have to be displayed. The Olympics were nearly four years ago but we must still be reminded. I could try to be friends but I don't think it would work.

MagicalHamSandwich Tue 01-Mar-16 18:53:59

She sounds insecure to me, actually. Compliment her on something that doesn't include the bloody Olympics and awards?

redexpat Tue 01-Mar-16 19:29:39

I thought it was Kate Winslet who keeps her Oscar in the downstairs bathroom, so people can practice their reaction in the mirror when they've flushed wiped and washed.

KoriWine Tue 01-Mar-16 19:37:47

Glitter bomb... Untraceable, I know because my friend sent one to her cheating bastard of an ex husband, she used a glitter bomb website. I bet the OW was not happy having to clear it up gringringrin

Hygge Tue 01-Mar-16 19:47:45

This happened to my ex-boss.

We ran out of paper for the photocopier and printer. It was his fault, because he'd altered the stationary order to save money and we weren't allowed to order any more until the next order date was due.

So he rang around some of the other offices and left messages asking "can you send me some paper?" obviously meaning a couple of full boxes, but he didn't actually say that, he just asked for someone to send him some paper.

And somebody did.

Single envelopes with just one blank sheet in each one. Half the time with no stamp on the envelope, so some poor sod me had to go and collect them from the sorting office and pay the due postage plus £1 for handling.

You could see it was getting to him. Day after day after day of one single piece of blank paper then a few days of nothing just to make him think it was finished, and then another piece would arrive. It went on for months, on and off, piece by piece of blank paper through the post.

The bright side was he never interfered with the stationary order again. He rang all the other managers accusing them but nobody ever admitted to it.

oldlaundbooth Tue 01-Mar-16 19:51:53

Problem with the glitter bomb is that you can't guarantee that the boss/whoever will actually open the damn thing <spoils party>

kelper Tue 01-Mar-16 19:55:15

Hygg thats genius smile

kelper Tue 01-Mar-16 19:55:43

Sorry I missed your E

ChicChantal Tue 01-Mar-16 19:55:44

can you sign her up for loads of junk email from a net cafe?

lalalalyra Tue 01-Mar-16 20:05:07

I worked with a guy who was deeply racist. It really got to a few of us because the disciplinary process was so slow that one of our (really nice) colleagues got so offended by him that they quit. He also absolutely detested old people. He thought he was really clever and subtle about it, but he really wasn't.

So we got him sent application packs for a couple of jobs that enraged him (integration officer, Asylum seeker centre co-ordinator etc) and various brochures for things like stair lifts and care homes.

He was livid, but went very, very quiet when he realised that he wasn't as subtle as he'd thought he was.

sportinguista Tue 01-Mar-16 20:05:21

Fill all the coupons you can find in magazines in, you know the ones for catalogues for stair lifts etc, or those horrid beige slacks. I did this to an ex who hated junk mail. Even sent one for a prosthetics catalogue. Was actually great fun, he couldn't prove anything...ha,ha!

coffeeinaredmug Tue 01-Mar-16 20:06:51

I have a colleague (social work) who had a weird stalker client who signed her up for weird samples so she got things like incontinence pads, nappies, piles cream etc through the post. It was very very funny (although the poor client definitely had some issues).

Dungandbother Tue 01-Mar-16 20:10:45

I'm all over this like a rash for stbxh

Oh yes. Like all those catalogues out the back of the telegraph.

Maybe we should have a little MN club where you can assist a MNetter admin bomb someone you hate

PerspicaciaTick Tue 01-Mar-16 20:30:31

Could you by some ancient trophies off ebay and then hide them on her trophy shelf. Keep adding them one at a time. See if she ever notices.

DrSeuss Tue 01-Mar-16 20:51:37

Love the trophy idea!

nocoolnamesleft Tue 01-Mar-16 21:42:23

Best one of these ever...

Some years ago, in a big teaching hospital far, far, away, a neurosurgeon went to buy lunch in the hospital canteen. Choosing a seemingly innocuous soup with croutons was the start of an international scandal. Accused of taking more croutons than a single portion, he was suspending due to an allegation that this constituted theft. Suspended on full pay, unable to operate, or perform clinics, or teach, or do his research... A variety of ex patients and their relatives appeared in the media offering to pay for the croutons. It was in the news across the English speaking world, deriding the idiocy of the situation. And then the international medical community got in on the act, and the packets of cup a soup started arriving. From as far afield as Australia. Allegedly hundreds of the damn things, addressed to the chief executive. Some of them were even really posh packet soup with integral croutons.

In some quarters, the term "deserving a crouton award" is still used to this day to designate a particularly idiotic act on the part of any NHS chief exec.

SirChenjin Tue 01-Mar-16 21:48:44

*My boss knows everything. About everything. And everyone else knows nothing.
My boss is a supercilious, actually not that bright knobber who needs sorting*

I have one of those too - I wonder if there is a knobber boss factory somewhere that churns them out? confused

Loving the coupon idea - and that one from Hygge is just genius! I am in awe of the person behind that grin

anotherBadAvatar Tue 01-Mar-16 21:56:35

nocoolnamesleft I was taught by the crouton man, many moons ago! How we all laughed in disbelief at the time. I wonder where you work now?

Anyway, second the Incontinence pad samples (get really creative too), I may have done that to a well deserving ex BF...

I just love the crouton story!

CadburysTastesVileNow Tue 01-Mar-16 21:59:12

Toenail clippings.

Maybe fill a trophy with them, gradual-like?

Roseformeplease Tue 01-Mar-16 22:13:14

We once advertised a particularly annoying boss's car and other stuff for sale at bargain prices. Great laugh.

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