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To think my baby doesn't love me as much

(12 Posts)
Therealnannyplum Tue 01-Mar-16 17:25:43

I am possibly bu but not sure. I can confidently say my baby did adore me, he hated being away from me and would cry if I left the house or even the room.

Lately he just doesn't seem to want to be around me, my parents have been here all day and I literally may as well not have existed for the day he couldn't have cared less if I was here or not.

I was quite seriously ill a few weeks ago and in hospital for a few nights, during this time my husband told me our 13 month old was very unsettled but when I came home it was as though he wouldn't forgive me and just wanted my DH.

Obviously he bonded a lot more with my DH when I was away which is brilliant but I just feel like he doesn't need or want me as much anymore. If there is a room of people he wants everyone apart from me

Therealnannyplum Tue 01-Mar-16 17:26:20

Subject Should be he doesn't love me as much as he used to

hiddenhome2 Tue 01-Mar-16 17:28:54

I think you need to stop worrying about it. He's only very young and he sounds perfectly normal. Babies who feel secure are happy to be with others and go to them because they have a good bond with their mothers. It's a positive thing.

2016IsANewYearforMe Tue 01-Mar-16 17:30:46

Your baby still loves you!

It reminds of when I cut my hair short and my 13 month old became afraid of me. I had to wrap my hair in a towel to get her to breast feed! I behaved normally and she got back to normal too.

BillSykesDog Tue 01-Mar-16 17:31:49

I think this is totally normal. Children do go through phases of being all about one parenting then switching back to the other. The vacillate between the two. Also at his age he is getting to the stage where he's starting to realise that he is his own little person and not just an extension of his primary care giver (you).

Perfectly normal, please don't beat yourself up about this, and of course he still loves you just as much!

FreshHorizons Tue 01-Mar-16 17:35:37

I would see it as positive- he feels secure enough to take you for granted. Other people like grandparents are bound to be exciting.
As he gets to about 2/3 yrs it will be quite likely that you get 'I love daddy best' - 'you are not my friend' etc etc, but it is all meaningless and just needs a flippant remark like 'luckily I have enough love for 2 ' etc.
Don't let your feelings of having to leave him when ill spoil the future.

Moore4 Tue 01-Mar-16 17:35:47

I'm certain he adores you!! I find my sons go through phases, sometimes it's all about Daddy and then Lo and behold, it's my turn! Try not to worry - instead celebrate this little characters growing confidence!!

ValerieTheHorse Tue 01-Mar-16 17:38:10

He loves you, you're safe and unfortunately for you that means he might save his worse behaviour for you as he considers it safe. Other people are interesting because he's with you a lot, so yes he will go with them and yes, it hurts a bit. He was probably unnerved by he change when you went to hospital and hung back because of it, my ds (21months) doesn't like me the day after the one day a week I work, even though he has a lovely time with my mum while I'm gone. That day after he's always he most disagreeable of the whole week. Please don't feel bad, your ds sounds quote normal and mines the same.

Therealnannyplum Tue 01-Mar-16 17:38:32

Thanks everyone, I didn't think of it as him gaining more confidence around others which is a nicer way to think of things

AliceScarlett Tue 01-Mar-16 17:39:03

I think this will pass, he got used to you being away and formed a strong bond with his Dad ( fantastic work on your part teaching him how to do this) and he will come back to you again. Im not sure how helpful it is to think of it in terms of loving more or less.
Just stay near him, he will realise you are not going away again and come back to you.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 01-Mar-16 17:42:39

I had twins and DS was all about daddy - it does smart!! But think about how your DH felt when it was all about mummy?

Now he can be shared more easily - enjoy the peace!!

Joopy Tue 01-Mar-16 18:54:12

I think it shows that he is secure and it's a good thing. My DS is clingy when we're in a new place with new people but when we're with family he is so excited to see them that he doesn't worry about me. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Would you really want a toddler who won't leave your side?

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