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To find this woman rude?

(109 Posts)
BathshebaDarkstone Tue 01-Mar-16 09:49:13

In the school playground this morning, DS brought some toys with him to play with before school, the usual group of boys came to play. One mother told me I shouldn't let him share with other DC, and told her DS to put a toy down. I told him it was OK, he could play with it. Later, my DS ran off to do something else, leaving the other boys to play with his toys. The same woman said "He's gone, put the toys in the bag" to me. I replied "No, his friends are playing with them." I really wanted to say "ODFOD" but I realise that this isn't appropriate in a school playground. So my question's in the title.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 01-Mar-16 09:51:56

I don't know about rude so much (apart from when she TOLD you to put the toys away) but she seems a bit odd.

Unless she's worried her own little darling is going to try to pocket one of them of course!

I don't think I'd take toys into school, though - in fact, I do my best to stop DS1 taking toys with him, on the grounds that they are far more likely to get lost or broken and that would upset him.
But if you and your DS don't mind, and none of it is age-inappropriate, then I can't really see her problem (unless, as I said, he's a closet klepto).

ComeonSummer1 Tue 01-Mar-16 09:53:36

Think it's lovely to share and lovely your ds wants to share. All mine were encouraged to.

obviousky you take the risk that they can be damaged or broken.

It's none of her business really.

MrsJayy Tue 01-Mar-16 10:10:29

Some people are right weird about sharing she wasnt rude just right weird cousin didnt agree withher dc sharing anything she said toys/sweets were theirs it was really odd

Samcro Tue 01-Mar-16 10:13:13

i find it odd that you would take toys in like that. most likely she did too

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 01-Mar-16 10:13:41

They don't actually go into class with him, it's not allowed, he takes them to play with in the playground before school, then puts them in the bag at his classroom door, has "little more suck" of Bear, puts him in the bag, I hand him his school bags, we say our goodbyes and I cart various toys round Sainsbury's! grin

It was the tone more than anything, it sounded like DS's reception teacher talking to one of her class! shock

MrsJayy Tue 01-Mar-16 10:16:44

Maybe her sons toys have been broken or lost or something you were well and truly told off though

imwithspud Tue 01-Mar-16 10:17:36

She sounds really weird.

DownstairsMixUp Tue 01-Mar-16 10:28:56

I find this all weird. DS arrives school early but just runs round playing like all the other kids do, never seen a parent arrive with a bag full of toys. confused but she was weird to. I'd have backed away slowly from her if she spoke to me like that.

TeddTess Tue 01-Mar-16 10:31:43

i think it's weird to bring a bag of toys to school.
like you're the "toy lady" or something.
what is it about? just let him run around with the other boys.

TeddTess Tue 01-Mar-16 10:32:24

maybe she wanted her ds to continue to run around and burn off steam before going into a classroom?

almondpoisson Tue 01-Mar-16 10:32:56

I would say something like that too, because DC not allowed toys at their school and if they see other children with them, it creates a huge problem every morning 'BUT JIMMY TOOK THEM IN HIS MUM LETS HIM' etc etc etc leading to lost, broken, confiscated, etc, toys and tears and battles all so very unnecessarily. School is school and is not a time to be running wild with toys - just because yours gives them back to you, not all children will do this and it sets an example to others that it's all fine.
I think her comment about quick, put them away, was possibly a slightly humorous comment that you've misread (on the inkling that she has had such battles and is saying it in jestful tone)

Damselindestress Tue 01-Mar-16 10:34:12

Weird! Maybe her sons toys have been damaged or nicked before or he has a history of damaging or taking toys himself so she's a bit funny about sharing toys. Doesn't give her a right to tell you what to do though! You were being nice, surely sharing should be encouraged?

marshmallowpies Tue 01-Mar-16 10:34:32

OP sorry to be off topic but my DD1 does the 'one more suck' thing too - we'll be getting ready to go out, and she'll say 'Three more sucks of Teddy' and we all have to stand and wait while she clutches Teddy and sucks her thumb furiously for a minute. It's very sweet.

I think in your shoes I would have said something really bright and cheery and pass-agg to her: 'Oh these are his friends, they play with his stuff all the time, you don't need to worry!' and given her a beaming smile. Anything just to reinforce that if it was OK by you, it wasn't her problem to worry about or even be commenting on.

almondpoisson Tue 01-Mar-16 10:34:40

Also she may think your DS would be very upset (if he's so attached to his toys that you carry them around) if another child breaks them or won't give one back.

DisneyDiva87 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:35:16

It's weird that she insisted you put them away, if she thinks your mad for bringing toys she should be whispering about it to her mates. It's none of her business what you and your DS do. If she doesn't want her DS to play with your DS's toys then she should be telling her DS to leave them and play elsewhere rather than trying to control you.

OohMavis Tue 01-Mar-16 10:36:05

I had a mother come up and ask me, quite aggressively, to not let my DS bring his ninja turtle action figures into class anymore, because DS shared them with her son at breaktime and she'd discovered that he'd smuggled one home with him and when she said he had to give it back, it was very upsetting for him hmm

Some schools don't mind toys being brought in. There aren't too many issues in DS' school to necessitate a ban.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 01-Mar-16 10:36:28

Sorry, with Ted another others who think it's odd toy take toys at all. Whats wrong with just manically running about with everyone else?!

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 01-Mar-16 10:39:06

almond he doesn't take them into class.

MattDillonsPants Tue 01-Mar-16 10:42:10

I agree it's a bit odd to bring toys specifically for him to play with before they go in. I get that he might want a little more suck of his Bear smile but bringing much more than a ball or skipping rope is unnecessary and can sometimes cause issues.

The other woman is rude though. What toys do you bring OP? Just out of curiosity?

angielou123 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:42:39

I took my 2 yr old son to the library one day and there was a woman with a small girl with a scooter in there. My son, being just 2, saw it and promptly started having a go. The girl was not using it at the time, she was reading. Well, the look on the womans face was like thunder. I made my boy get off and he then kicked off and threw a tantrum so much that we had to leave. My question is, could not the woman have said, 'its ok, he can have a quick go', its not like we were going to be there all day. If I was her, I would have gladly let the child play. I'm just saying it wouldn't have killed her to have a heart for 5 mins. But as someone else said, some people can be funny like that. Or am I being selfish?

BathshebaDarkstone Tue 01-Mar-16 10:43:05

She didn't say "quick, put them away", she said, in a reception teacher tone: "he's gone, put them in the bag." hmm

WorraLiberty Tue 01-Mar-16 10:43:29

Some adults are just strange about sharing anything, even their own things.

I remember my friend's sister throwing a full on tantrum at age 19, because we asked to borrow her disposable lighter for literally a second, to light our cigarettes confused

She was very possessive over everything she owned.

MattDillonsPants Tue 01-Mar-16 10:44:07

What type of toys are they OP? I think it pertinent to the question of whether she was really being unreasonable or not.

MattDillonsPants Tue 01-Mar-16 10:45:43

Angie personally I taught my DC from a very early age that they were not to use other people's toys unless invited to do so. It's best to get their understanding of respecting other's belongings early.

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