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Hen do accommodation

(30 Posts)
wheatchief Mon 29-Feb-16 19:39:43

Should point out I haven't raised this with fellow bridesmaids yet, just looking for opinions.

Trying to organise a hen do for a large number (20+) in a popular UK holiday destination in mid July. There will be a number (10-12) on top of this coming for just the saturday night fun, which will take place at the accommodation (bride's request).

AIBU to think that the hens who are not staying might be expected to make a token contribution to the cost of the venue (a few quid, no more) on the basis that without them attending the venue would not need to be able to accommodate 30+ in the social areas, which would make the search easier. In addition, if we were hiring a hall or similar for the sat evening, the cost would be split equally between everyone who would be using the hall.

I'm really torn. I can see why it's cheeky for them to contribute to somewhere they don't get to stay, too.

Sparklycat Mon 29-Feb-16 19:41:21

I think it's unreasonable. Ask them to bring the drinks/nibbles instead.

PennyHasNoSurname Mon 29-Feb-16 19:42:43

If they dont need a bed, they dont pay.

LastOneDancing Mon 29-Feb-16 19:44:41

I'd just give a price for those staying and a price for those not staying and give a very general explanation that it's to cover food/ drinks/ gift for the bride (if you're getting her a flashing garter or other such 'essentials' ☺). Don't explain there's an added venue cost for the non-stayers.

So long as it's not extortionate I don't see why anyone would complain, and youre right - they are bumping the price up. But my group of friends are quite easy-going.

Osolea Mon 29-Feb-16 19:45:21

I think I'd need to understand more about the plans and the costs involved to be able to judge, but is don't think you can charge people for a venue they aren't staying at. They've probably chosen not to stay to keep costs down.

ExtraBlessings Mon 29-Feb-16 19:46:46

I don't think that's unreasonable. You need a venue and possibly you'll be saving on the food and drinks compared to a restaurant. You've already said no more than a few quid.
Think it sounds nice.

Nospringflower Mon 29-Feb-16 19:47:21

I know what you mean but no, you can't charge them for the venue.

wheatchief Mon 29-Feb-16 19:49:03

Thanks for the replies, which seem to tend towards it being unreasonable.

They're only being invited for the Sat night, Osolea, sorry, I should have probably said that to begin with. If we have a number who are invited to stay but decide not to we will probably need to reconsider as I think finding somewhere sleeping, say 16, but able to accommodate 30 for a night's entertainment is going to be impossible.

specialsubject Mon 29-Feb-16 20:55:00

just to check you have confirmed there is somewhere that will actually accommodate a big single-sex group...

Cariadity Mon 29-Feb-16 21:00:22

Could you try to book all the rooms in a b&b? Most have a lounge or dining area that could accommodate a bit of a party. I wouldn't think you'd be charged for using it as you would be the only people staying there. You would just have to find an owner who was veery easygoing, Sounds like fun though!

Osolea Mon 29-Feb-16 21:05:27

If they're not even invited to stay, then you definitely can't expect them to pay. It sounds like you're hiring a cottage type place or something, in which case it would be like charging entry to a house party.

You have my sympathy though, I have made a pact with myself to never again be involved in organising a hen night in any way shape or form. It is SO hard trying to get something good that balances costs with guests and the brides wishes.

PennyHasNoSurname Mon 29-Feb-16 21:09:50

Op I think the best way forward would be to request everyone give you X amount (say £80), to secure their bed. Using the funds raised, rent the biggest possible property for the money. If everyone is staying two nights then, nearer the time, say to people if they want to add on its £40 for one night/£80 for the two. Any extra money raised, with the latecomers, use it to buy gifts for the bride/drinks/hen party bags etc.

iminshock Mon 29-Feb-16 21:18:48

Step back now ! Who in gods name thinks this kind of thing is fun ?

wheatchief Mon 29-Feb-16 21:21:51

Yes, there are a couple of options who can/will accommodate us, but not many (and they're expensive) - part of the problem is we can't go for, say 5 x cabins somewhere, because that leaves us with no central location that can fit all the sat night only guests. No one has turned us down on the basis of being a large single sex group although I appreciate that may be the reason behind some of them being 'full'. It is not going to be raucous/horrible, mostly it will be some kind of outdoor activity then at-home fun in the evening (don't want to say too much in case this is recognisable, but certainly not of the stripper type of fun).

Thanks to those of you who see how I'm thinking but it does seem to tip towards unreasonable. Would never have worded it as a separate charge, just rolled it up in the costs the sat night people will be paying but perhaps that makes it even worse! Will have to keep hunting.

And yes, hen do organising can be, um, challenging! Damn all the large groups who have already booked up the Westcountry!

mummymeister Mon 29-Feb-16 21:23:08

you are deluding yourself if you think you are going to find a big place for all of you to stay in, in mid July. this is school summer holidays and everywhere will either want a full week of lettings not just a weekend or they will be mega, mega bucks. nowhere is going to let you sleep 16 and have an extra 14 over for a boozy girls night in. a house to sleep 16 in mid July is going to be thousands because they will ask for the full week price even though its just the weekend.

fire regs mean a house for 16 is a house for 16 not a house for 30 and any house owner would be quite justified in booting you out if you tried to do this without prior consent.

mummymeister Mon 29-Feb-16 21:28:19

meant to add have a look at

groupaccommodation.com
bigholidayhouse.com
groupstays.co.uk

all of these are great websites for finding big properties but unless you are willing to change your dates and avoid school holidays then you are looking at around £100+ a head just for the accommodation. if you made it the first weekend in July it would be a heck of a lot cheaper. better still, late june.

wheatchief Mon 29-Feb-16 21:31:14

Mummy, we have some options actually, but they're expensive. And yes, the fact that they need to accommodate more than we actually need them to sleep is why the costs are high and why I wondered about a token contribution from those not sleeping over. Thanks anyway though.

Fourarmsv2 Mon 29-Feb-16 21:35:00

What about a glamping type weekend?

RortyCrankle Mon 29-Feb-16 21:41:04

A token contribution towards what? Food? Drink? If accommodation, then I think that would be unreasonable.

I have to confess to agreeing with Iminshock

caroldecker Mon 29-Feb-16 21:53:17

how about this YHA place

sooperdooper Mon 29-Feb-16 22:00:25

I think places you're after do exist, but if you're not actually going out anywhere why does it need to be in a specific holiday location that's no doubt pushing the price up? If you're really after a place to have a house party it could be anywhere smile

I think you could ask for a contribution from non-staying guests but they need to get something for it, like drinks or food - but if you bulk buy you could get enough to have some money left over towards the venue costs

sooperdooper Mon 29-Feb-16 22:02:00

What general location are you looking at? I stayed in a place in Wales that would probably be big enough

silvermantela Mon 29-Feb-16 22:27:57

I actually don't think you're being particularly unreasonable. Like you said, if nobody was staying, everyone would have to chip in to hire somewhere big enough.

They won't be subsidising those who are staying, they will be contributing to the cost of hiring a venue for the evening they are using it. If they don't pay, then the 'stayers' are subsiding those who are only coming for the evening, as if they weren't coming, they would be paying a lot less for a smaller place.

Assuming it is a fairly small amount you're asking (£5ish) I would be happy to pay it. tbh I resent paying for hen party things like personalised sashes, etc. more!

However, are you sure there's nowhere you can all fit in? I've definitely fit thirty-odd people in a normal size living room (spilling over into the kitchen, some outside for a fag, people using bathroom, etc.) before, as long as people are happy to squeeze up a bit. It often makes it more fun!

Or is there a pub nearby where you can use a function room, or just the normal area, even if its just for part of the night? They might be happy to overlook a bit of rowdiness for the sake of ££££ in drinks?

Also, bear in mind that it is very very likely that a few people might drop out/decide they are just 'popping in', leave early, etc. You don't want to be angry at paying megabucks for somewhere that can comfortably fit 36, only to only end up with 27 guests and a load of wasted space due to non-attendees.

Cariadity Mon 29-Feb-16 22:33:19

Hen party organising is such hard work! I second the pp that said to beware of people dropping out. Make sure you add in a decent contingency to the amount you ask for as nothing more awkward than having to ask everyone for more because people have dropped out. Much better to have an unexpected drinks kitty or bride to be present from a surplus on the night!

mummymeister Mon 29-Feb-16 23:27:33

change the date Op. do it outside of school holidays and get it cheaper then say to everyone this is the price whether you sleep over or not. its then peoples choice whether they stay or don't.

otherwise you could end up with many more deciding not to stay and those that do paying a disproportionate amount.

the problem with this whole do is not what you are thinking of doing but the date because if it was £20 a head no one would mind but in school hols its going to be much more than that.

silvermantela - if you own a holiday house that sleeps 16, then there are fire regs that mean it cannot be occupied by more than 16 so your just squashing up idea is fine in a private house, not in a business. its a bit like booking 16 flights on Ryanair and asking everyone to squash up to fit another 14 in. like the airline is going to go for this.

you say you have found places Op so what are the costs you are looking at £50 a head? £100? 30 to stay? would be useful to have your actual figures because repliers are speculating that it is like only £5 when I bet you were thinking of more than that.

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