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To see my DM become homeless

(51 Posts)
Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:04:54

So yet again my DM is facing being evicted in two weeks.

So if saying the landlord wants to give over the house to a couple who live there so she has been issued with an eviction notice. In reality the reason is probably as she steals food and is rude to the other tenants.

She was evicted from her last rented room as she spent the rent and hoped the landlord would forget.

She had to move in with me and it was the worst 6 months of my life. I live in a small 3 bed with 5 children so it was a squeeze, she slept on the couch. Her personal hygiene is crap and she would smoke in my house and lie about it. I got so desperate I spent half my student loan on a deposit and months rent for another room for her. She promised to pay me back, but never did.

25 yrs ago she had a brain haemorrhage that has left her with personality change including a lack of consideration for consequences.

(If your still reading this well done)

She has known about this eviction for over a month but has been to my house to use my computer to look for a room only 4 times. She has been to the council once.

Last time she lived with me I worked so hard to get her help. Went with her to the council every appointment (they have no duty to house her). Set up a support worker, got her assessed by SS (she does not meet threshold). This time I am busy with work and a small baby. I can't go to every appointment and she is just not trying. I know she has difficulty But it seems to be when it suits her. If o told her o would lend her a fiver now for example she would come straight over to my house.

But.. But.. But.. I can't see my mother on the streets can I? Oh god it's going to be awful

TattyDevine Mon 29-Feb-16 19:07:38

Oh god, I feel for you.

It's tricky because of the brain haemorrhage thing (I can't spell that) (Okay just spellchecked it and yes, I was way off! grin ) but I still don't think it's fair for you to have her.

That said there must be an alternative somehow, as a vulnerable person? Can you get social services to help or is this not what they do?

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 29-Feb-16 19:08:34

No, you're not being unreasonable. What an utterly horrible position for you to be in. But you need to look after yourself and your children, and it sounds like that just doesn't work with her living there.

flowers to you.

Dawndonnaagain Mon 29-Feb-16 19:14:29

I'd be kicking up a fuss about not meeting the threshold, she obviously does if she has a trail of evictions behind her. She needs to be in some sort of sheltered accommodation. Try talking to one of the housing charities or Citizens Advice.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:16:48

I did so much last time. So so much and she really doesn't meet any thresholds. She doesn't even get ESA and frequently missed job centre appointments, although this has improved as they have got more strict.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:18:39

I am a social worker now btw, albeit in children's CP. I have adult SW friends and they say there is nothing either. She has already lived with the two supported housing charities in my area but was evicted from one for not engaging and reached her time limit with the other one.

OddBoots Mon 29-Feb-16 19:19:19

Are you sure they have no duty to house her now? I can see that they wouldn't while she lived with you but now she doesn't and has an eviction notice it sounds like they will have a duty this time.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:24:01

She has a rally old rent debt with the council that she never tried to pay off 😥

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:24:19

*really

RedRainRocks Mon 29-Feb-16 19:30:39

Ok, so as a single person with no dependants she probably wouldn't be classed as having a priority need unless she was considered vulnerable. Several evictions and her medical condition (get her GP to support perhaps?) may well be enough if you are unable to get her support from adult social care. Depending on the time elapsed, she may be able to return to the charity she was with previously and stayed as long as possible. She IS however entitled to support and assistance to find a home from the LA, despite their lack of statutory duty in this case. It's utterly shocking that in 2016 we still have such a large hidden and in plain sight homeless population. I've not got advice other than, maybe if you do step away as her support bet she might just pick herself up? Or is that a hope too far? It's a tough one... I feel for you.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:36:11

Redrain, you righty about the LA. They have offered her a rent deposit scheme before, but she was unable to find a landlord to accept it. That why I stumped up the cash.

She is also quite rude to my partner so I really can't see it working her staying here. But could I sleep at night knowing she was on the streets?

Millymollymoo8 Mon 29-Feb-16 19:36:35

Can you not just find her a room, check out the local paper or however house share are advertised now.

If she has problems it would be better to help her along than house her.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 29-Feb-16 19:38:04

On the face of it. YABU, but that's very easy for me to say. I'm not you living your life, and it's not me who she'd be coming to live with. My mum was never a problem, she never complained or asked for anything, so her living with me would not have been a problem. My dad OTOH is a selfish and expectant and there's no way I'd have him living with me. Come hell or high water, and if that makes me selfish. It is what it is

RosyCat Mon 29-Feb-16 19:39:02

Nothing about this situation is reasonable though. Your mum's not reasonable, it's not her fault she's unreasonable, the council/housing situation in this country isn't reasonable...so I think trying to find any kind of reasonableness in this situation would just be futile and frustrating, and probably fruitless.

I think you just have to do what you can live with that lets you sleep at night. I'm sorry that that the state we're in as a society in 2016. I'm sorry you have to deal with this flowers.

If it was me, I agree with a pp, the place I would start would be disputing the threshold issue.

RosyCat Mon 29-Feb-16 19:40:22

Do you mind my asking...what part of the country are you in?

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 19:44:41

How awful.

You can't see your mum on the streets, no, but you also would struggle to house her so I would lean on every charity and governmental agency in town to get someone else to house her.

I have no knowledge of her condition but I think she would qualify as vulnerable. And i expect by taking her in you would be making your own family vulnerable too - in the sense of stress on a mother of five!

Have you seen these websites, I am sure you have, are they any good.

www.housing-rights.info/03_11_People_social_care.php

www.gov.uk/government/publications/2010-to-2015-government-policy-housing-for-older-and-vulnerable-people/

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/help_from_the_council_when_homeless/priority_need

Have you talked to your local MP? Sometimes getting a high profile person to help you might help.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 19:45:13

Sorry, I meant How awful for you and for her.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:45:14

Am in Northampton Rosy.

Have found her a room in the pay Milly, it requires a months rent up front - so around £350 and usually £150 deposit. I haven't got that and neither has she.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:45:32

*in the past!!

Sorry am on phone.

RosyCat Mon 29-Feb-16 19:46:38

Because if I was going to suggest getting in touch with the Simon Community...I used to volunteer at a Soup Kitchen affliated with them in Glasgow.

And they were pretty good not just at provision of services like food and hostels and clothing for homeless people, but at getting people back into a proper home situation.

MistressMerryWeather Mon 29-Feb-16 19:47:48

Is she receiving any benefits?

She could apply for a crisis loan for her first month rent (not the deposit just the rent).

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:48:06

Thank you italiangrey, will have a look through those. I have suggested MP to her as have used local MP at work with good results. She hasn't done anything about it though. I will have to step up my game again with supporting her, I have just told her what to do and not gone with her as I am busy. But this is obviously not working.

Bettydownthehall Mon 29-Feb-16 19:48:47

There is no such thing a crisis loan anymore.

Italiangreyhound Mon 29-Feb-16 19:49:51

Can I ask how old she is? Could Age UK help?

RosyCat Mon 29-Feb-16 19:51:23

No Second Night Out

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