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To accuse nanny of being a thief?

(268 Posts)
inanannypickle Mon 29-Feb-16 15:29:00

Nanny started with us 9 months ago. DD and DS absolutely adore her and will be devastated if we have to let her go. She is very good with them and helpful around the house etc. She is live in.

About six weeks after her starting we also got a new cleaner. About 3 weeks after the cleaner starting (so about 7 months ago) some money went missing out of my nightstand- £200 to be precise. DD and DS are too young to take it, DH wouldn't so after searching high and low for it for 2 days both DH and I had a sit down with our nanny and cleaner and explained we weren't angry and we were both willing to giving them another chance if the money was returned there and then. Both protested their innocence but cleaner texted me the next day saying she was quitting so we put it down to a guilty conscience and let it go.

Nanny has also been babysitting for a friend of ours once a week. Last week she contacted me to say £50 had gone missing out of her handbag while nanny was there and that she needed to have a word with her about it. So I sent Nanny round who protested her innocence to her and while friend said she would be unable to offer her anymore work decided to let it go. I didn't mention about the £200.

Anyway- I went in my bag this morning to look for our household bank card. I hardly ever use it. Bank details are stored online for our grocery shopping and bills come out by direct debit. I think I last used it myself just before Christmas. Then remembered I gave Nanny the PIN number a few months ago when she was going out to do some last minute shopping before holiday.

Anyway I have contacted the bank who have said that there have been numerous cash withdrawals over the past few months- I have asked them to send me details to access my online banking but it sounds like over £1000 has been taken out of the account since November.

Have of course spoken to DP who hasn't done it.

AIBU to confront her?

RayofFuckingSunshine Mon 29-Feb-16 15:30:57

YABU to confront her and give her chance to potentially cover her tracks. Call the police.

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 29-Feb-16 15:31:31

Of course not! Also contact the police asap.

CantChoose Mon 29-Feb-16 15:31:59

Maybe I'm over estimating the power and helpfulness of the bank but do some ATMs not have cctv they can access? At least then you'd know 100%...

Devilishpyjamas Mon 29-Feb-16 15:32:25

shock yes police.

Hassled Mon 29-Feb-16 15:33:13

Yes, I think this is for the police to investigate rather than you. Horrible for you to have to deal with, though, especially if she's otherwise good. Is there really no-one else in the house who could have done it?

Only1scoop Mon 29-Feb-16 15:33:51

Hand it over to Police.

Feel sorry for your cleaner sad

anorakgirl Mon 29-Feb-16 15:34:05

Although if you have her the PIN you may be liable for the loss.

Katenka Mon 29-Feb-16 15:34:23

Yabu to accuse her directly.

Yanbu to call the police. They will have cctv checked at the cash points. Let them do the accusing.

It would be awful if it did turn out to be your do. Probably won't, but can you imagine if you accuse her and it turns out it's not her and the money going missing at your friends was a coincidence.

I do think it's her, but best to be on the safe side.

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 29-Feb-16 15:35:07

Would also just like to say that I usually come to these threads to try and support the nanny, who sometimes is blamed unfairly. Definitely not the case here.

AdrenalineFudge Mon 29-Feb-16 15:35:08

Call the police.

Katenka Mon 29-Feb-16 15:35:12

dp not your do grin

MrsNuckyT Mon 29-Feb-16 15:35:44

I would remove all possibility for her to steal anything else, immediately start on the hunt to find a new nanny and then let her go when you have something lined up. I'd also call the police.

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 29-Feb-16 15:36:31

Also, if it's proven that it was the nanny then please contact your cleaner and apologise. An accusation when you're innocent can leave you feeling pretty awful.

SevenOfNineTrue Mon 29-Feb-16 15:37:14

Before you talk to her, just make sure you can prove she has not used the withdrawals for your children. If confronted by the Police, I suspect that is what she will claim or that it was not even her taking the money out.

dodobookends Mon 29-Feb-16 15:39:04

If you gave her the PIN number, unfortunately it looks rather like neither the bank nor the police would be able to do anything about this at all.

inanannypickle Mon 29-Feb-16 15:41:29

I'm 99.9% sure it isn't DP. He has made no extravagant purchases lately and he isn't exciting enough to go off and have an affair.

Nanny has taken DD and DS out after school so I will contact the police while she is out.

I will of course contact the cleaner and apologise if it does turn out to be her

Thank you all. I'm going to have 2 very heartbroken DC to deal with later sad

Katenka Mon 29-Feb-16 15:43:58

I am sure it isn't your do either. But, you just never know.

You could find yourself with a nanny that walks out though, if it turns out not to be her.

Just try and cover yourself

needastrongone Mon 29-Feb-16 15:48:17

Until I read you last paragraph OP I was thinking to side with the nanny. BUT, reading the last one, police asap. You don't even have to accuse her outright if you simply refer to the cash withdrawals alone and present them with simple facts, the police can draw their own conclusions.

I must say, it's kind of daft of the nanny though, to be so obvious re the bank withdrawals.

Poor you, this isn't an easy situation to deal with at all flowers

MartinaJ Mon 29-Feb-16 15:49:58

I might be talking crime series stuff here but don't they normally have CCTV at the ATMs? If yes, you tell police to check with the bank for recent withdrawals as there's normally time and location of the ATM on the bank account statements.

chaosagain Mon 29-Feb-16 15:50:38

Just to re-iterate, as you gave her the PIN to your account, I'm not sure you'll have much comeback from police or bank. She could just claim you authorised the withdrawals, your word against hers.

Twinklestein Mon 29-Feb-16 15:52:53

I think you should call the police and report all the thefts, because she needs a talking to.

However, as you gave her the card details you won't be able to recover the money.

Twinklestein Mon 29-Feb-16 15:55:09

There's one than one theft here, the total includes previous cash theft from the OP and her friend as well as the ATM, so it's def worth reporting to police.

Twitterqueen Mon 29-Feb-16 15:56:28

I have little sympathy with the fact that you can apparently afford to 'lose' £1,000 out of your bank without actually noticing, and that £200 is also easily dismissable.... If money means to little to you then yes, YABU.

However, this IS theft and of course you should take steps. You won't get the money back but you must confront her. She will otherwise continue stealing from you and from others and will not learn that this is a criminal act.

Junosmum Mon 29-Feb-16 15:58:30

Yes to calling the police and not confronting her. Also be aware that under employment law you can't just fire her- make sure you let her go legally and properly, so she can't sue you or anything.

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