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WWYD? Teen DD.

(54 Posts)
Euphemia Mon 29-Feb-16 12:48:31

DD has been snippy all morning. Kept me and her friends waiting before school as she was disorganised, then annoyed I wouldn't go back home for a book she forgot.

I've just had a wasted trip to the orthodontist because she's not been bothering to tighten her braces. Got told off by orthodontist, stomped out of building letting door go in my face, blamed it all on me. Told me how she looked up orphanages because evidently she's ruined my life.

Dropped her back at school while being ranted at about being upset. About being unreasonable for not running her home to get homework she forgot.

She's just texted to say she has no money for lunch. I replied saying take money out at ATM or borrow some. Sarcastic replies back.

Drive to school for the third time today, or let her go hungry?

PurpleWithRed Mon 29-Feb-16 12:49:55

Go hungry unless you think what looks like standard teen dd snappiness is hiding something more sinister.

ollieplimsoles Mon 29-Feb-16 12:50:47

Ha! Let her go hungry!!

Little madam, no way would my mum have stood for that.

Corygal1 Mon 29-Feb-16 12:52:33

Leave it. She's trying it on. At 15 she needs organisation skills and social skills more than she needs lunch - you won't be doing her any favours if you rush in treating her like a baby.

She can borrow cash from the school, anyway. It's a non-issue.

SanityClause Mon 29-Feb-16 12:54:51

Yes, let her go hungry. One day won't hurt her.

Not so long ago, my usually lovely 16yo called me an arsehole when I was trying to get her to hurry up, because we were running late. I just went without her (DS is at the same school) so she had to catch the bus and be late.

They have to learn that you can't treat people like shit, and expect them to be nice back.

Natural consequences.

Euphemia Mon 29-Feb-16 12:55:37

I know there is nastiness going on between her and classmates at the moment - other girl and her cronies basically being vile to DD and her pals. I suspect that's brought the bad behaviour out.

I'm sick of being the one that bears the brunt of it. She'd never dream of behaving like this towards DH.

DH's mum just died at the weekend and the house is in emotional turmoil. DH couldn't stand his mother, so he's not grief-stricken but is stressed out by all the arrangements, etc. DD phoned Grandma on sufferance every week and hasn't shed a tear for her.

I'm in the middle of all this! I feel like packing a bag and running away.

PaulAnkaTheDog Mon 29-Feb-16 12:55:43

Let her go hungry, cheeky so and so.

aginghippy Mon 29-Feb-16 12:57:12

Let her go hungy. Ignore sarcastic texts.

brew you have my sympathies

CooPie10 Mon 29-Feb-16 13:02:01

Let her go hungry. She's behaving like a brat so treat her like one. She doesn't have much respect for you right now. Why should you run to school when she can barely muster up the decency to speak to you properly . Let her beg or borrow from friends. She needs to learn that you won't roll over and accept her behaviour.

Pepperpot99 Mon 29-Feb-16 13:04:26

Sympathies here too. My dd is 14 and can be completely vile. Everything is my fault,including the fact that she is tired in the morning because she insists on taking the p**s on bedtimes. It's all because of me( not dh,natch) and if I dare to say no or question her I'm an interfering controlling bitch 😊
I've stopped enabling as much though,and it's probably better if you do too. Let her go hungry 😋

SanityClause Mon 29-Feb-16 13:04:43

Oh, well after your update, I've changed my mind.

It sounds like she might have very mixed feelings about her Gran dying.

I'd cut her some slack.

But, obviously tell her it's not okay to treat you like an emotional punchbag, but if she wants to talk, you are happy to talk to her, or help to arrange something with the school counsellor, or similar.

pastaofplenty Mon 29-Feb-16 13:06:19

Oh she's going through a lot - I'd say be the bigger person and go and then make time to talk tonight and explain that you won't be spoken to like that again etc... I think given the context you have to accept that she's lashing out emotionally and it's a lot to cope with for a youngster

Euphemia Mon 29-Feb-16 13:11:05

I texted her to say I'd meet her somewhere. She phoned and I asked where she wanted me to meet her.

"I dunno."
"Where are you?"
"Walking."
"Where to?"
"The high street."
"You do realise that talking to me like this does not make me want to get in the car for the third time today?"
"You're my mother, it's your job to keep me alive!"

I hung up. She's now alternating between phoning my mobile and the home phone, both of which I'm ignoring.

InternationalHouseofToast Mon 29-Feb-16 13:11:34

Do you work during the day OP? If you're not working tomorrow, pack yourself a bag and go out for the day, as if you were going to work, but take that day for you. Sod your DD, and the funeral arrangements, and just take that time - go to a museum, walk through a market, leave your phone at home.

Tell DD tonight that you will be going out straight from school drop off and will not be contactable so she needs to get her things together tonight and let her get on with it.

You sound like you need some time for you.

Euphemia Mon 29-Feb-16 13:13:02

I work Tues-Fri. Mondays are supposed to be my time. hmm

Goingtobeawesome Mon 29-Feb-16 13:13:18

It might be your job but hers is to be a nice person..

I'm sorry for the loss of your MIL flowers.

CooPie10 Mon 29-Feb-16 13:14:13

Even after your update I still don't think she gets leeway over her gran. She should be winding it in rather than adding to the situation at home. As for your phone call, good on hanging up. She seems out to be nasty to you, let her figure it out. The fact that she picks on you not your Dh means she's fully aware what she's doing.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Mon 29-Feb-16 13:16:40

DH's mum just died at the weekend and the house is in emotional turmoil.

OH dear, remind her of this, and tell her to NOT treat you like her emotional punch bag and to either not text, or be covil, fucking teens are SOOO selfish

specialsubject Mon 29-Feb-16 13:20:01

let her go hungry and when you next see her, calmly tell her to stop behaving like a two year old. If there are problems at school you need to know so you can help, but whatever is going on, this brattishness is not acceptable.

InternationalHouseofToast Mon 29-Feb-16 13:25:52

If you're working then rememeber back when you statrted back at work after having her, and could sit and have a hot drink whilst it was still hot and go for a wee on your own.

Channel that tomorrow. Leave your phone at home or in the car and have some uncomplicated time. She must know you're "available" to her to have contacted you today or she'd have got her act together. Tomorrow she has to remember her food money and homework.

Nothing like watching a phone ring and declining to answer it, is there?

clam Mon 29-Feb-16 13:26:29

Text her the number of Childline.

Whistle73 Mon 29-Feb-16 13:27:09

After another shitty weekend with my soon-to-be 14 year old I found your post very reassuring as at least I know I'm not alone. Not very helpful for you though, sorry!
I had a similar situation a few weeks ago where following a row in the car when she said she hated me and I'd ruined her life, she stormed off leaving her PE kit in the car. I happily ignored her texts and calls pleading for me to drop it off at school for her, and yes, she got a detention.
Did it teach her not to be so horrible? I'm afraid not.

ollieplimsoles Mon 29-Feb-16 13:27:53

Well, she's sort of right... confused

Still a madam...

sheffieldsteeler Mon 29-Feb-16 13:28:39

Tell her to Google to see if the orphanage does takeaways.

AnUtterIdiot Mon 29-Feb-16 13:30:26

"Told me how she looked up orphanages because evidently she's ruined my life."

grin

WHY DID YOU BLOODY WELL HAVE HER THEN

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