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To think the 'Disrespect NoBody' ad campaign is horribly sexist?

(1005 Posts)
p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:22:54

Not sure if this has already been discussed but has anybody else seen the 'Disrespect NoBody' TV adverts that are supposedly raising awareness for healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Every single scenario in the advert is targeted at men abusing women whether it be physically or emotionally. Y'know because men are never victims?

angry

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:41:42

40% of what are men?

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:42:44

Domestic violence victims, apparently hmm

AdrenalineFudge Sun 28-Feb-16 21:44:00

<yawn>

Typical whataboutery argument used to undermine and discredit a valid cause.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:44:42

Victims?

www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

This may not be accurate, but what i was trying to say was that not all victims are women as the advert implies.

It's not even a charity campaign, it's from the home office!

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:09

Murder by an intimate partner or ex is a leading cause of death for women. It is not for men.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:53

I think the message is good

Men/boys are not conditioned in the same way to accept low level abuse, a woman showing jealous behaviour she is called a bunny boiler and man showing jealous and controlling behaviour is often seen as romantic (there is nothing romantic about someone waiting for you outside work when you have told them you do not wish to see them)

The message is any controlling behaviour is abuse

MishMooshAndMogwai Sun 28-Feb-16 21:45:54

I agree with you OP. We should do everything we possibly can to stop DV be it male victims or female. Yes women are much more at risk but by actively excluding male victims in adverts surely we are just making them more vunerable and less likely to speak out. Male victims are no less victims than female victims and they deserve support too.

OhShutUpThomas Sun 28-Feb-16 21:47:45

Wow, The Guardian in misogynist shite shocker.

Parity are an MRA group. Ya know, men's rights activists? They provided the data.

Nuff said. But a valuable lesson on why you should check everything you read.

p4rmaviolet Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:29

Thomas, like I said it may not be accurate but this doesn't take away from the fact that men are victims too. Apologies.

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:29

Totally agree OP. It entirely isolates abuse of men, regardless of the much lower percentage.

As an aside, anyone who does that whole "menz" thing the minute abuse against men is mentioned has lost my audience and is, in my opinion, a bloody idiot who is so blighted by their single vision it's worrying.

Helmetbymidnight Sun 28-Feb-16 21:49:56

But there was nothing in that ad that said men are not victims. Eg the talking pants said that sexual pressure is not good. What is wrong with that?

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 21:54:44

Men can be victims too. However, women die in epidemic numbers, worldwide, and men don't. If there was a disease that affected both men and women. But it killed 90% of men and 2% of women, wouldn't we want to target men's health? Rather than spend our time saying, "but women catch that disease too".

OddBoots Sun 28-Feb-16 21:59:50

There is a very handy FAQ here

And from the same author here

Another important difference between women and men killed in the context of intimate partner violence is the history of the relationship. When men kill women partners or ex-partners, this usually follows months or years of them abusing her, when women kill male partners or ex-partners, it is usually after months or years of having been abused by the man they have killed. (Browne et al., 1998; Websdale, 1999; Dugan et al., 2003.)

So, there are four important differences when we compare women and men killed in the context of a current or previous intimate partnership (figures from the ONS 2011/12 to 2013/14 data):

-Far fewer men than women are killed in the context of intimate partner violence (57 men in 3 years compared to 249 women)
-Men are much more likely to be killed by the spouse of a partner or a love rival (14 out of 57 men, compared to none of the 249 women killed)
-Men are much more likely than women to have been killed by someone of the same sex (21 of 57 male homicide victims were killed by a man, compared to one out or 249 women)
-Men are more likely to have been killed by someone they were abusing, women are more likely to have been killed by someone they were being abused by.

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 28-Feb-16 22:00:24

Know what is absolute bullshit?

I am a DV survivor. My ex nearly killed me. That, on top of the years of physical and emotions abuse. And every single fucking post the charity who supported me post on facebook, about fundraising or anything else, there is at least one MRA posting aggressive messages asking why they do not support men too.

Women die every week because of intimate partner violence. Every. week. As someone has pointed out, the conditioning of women to accept violence is part of mainstream society.

It is not sexist to want men to stop fucking killing us.

HairyLittleCarrot Sun 28-Feb-16 22:04:56

Advert accurately reflects reality and aims to reduce violence against women.
And you think this is "horribly sexist"

Right Ho.

PiperChapstick Sun 28-Feb-16 22:05:08

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

This with nobs on!!

Why can't people understand that NO ONE IS SAYING MEN DONT GET ABUSED. But it's far more common that women get abused, they're reaching out to the majority market. Which is why an abused woman is depicted.

why can't people understand this? It's not that hard to grasp

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 22:08:29

So all focus should be on abused females?

Where the hell are abused men supposed to get support, or even know it exists?

No-one denies the victims of abuse are the vast majority.

Grilledaubergines Sun 28-Feb-16 22:09:17

Sorry, should read "... Vast majority female"

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sun 28-Feb-16 22:10:24

There are support groups for men

Online support

Refuges

So much like women they have to seek it, it does not come knocking at their door

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 28-Feb-16 22:12:08

81% of the victims of domestic violence are women.

So 1/5 are men? Higher than I'd imagine and not to be dismissed.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 22:12:37

As I said before, the disrespect nobody website links to organisations specifically targeted at men.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 28-Feb-16 22:16:54

So 1/5 are men? Higher than I'd imagine and not to be dismissed. But not fatal to men in the vast majority of cases. Unless they are the perpetrator of it, ironically. This is fatal to women. In very high numbers.

neonrainbow Sun 28-Feb-16 22:18:08

I see where op is coming from. Women are more likely to be killed by a partner or ex partner. I doubt there are any stats to show the proportion of men vs women who suffer emotional, sexual and financial abuse from their partner. Its only recently that emotional and financial abuse has been recognised and is more widely talked about.

As the campaign doesn't just focus on physical abuse i do think that some effort could have been made to highlight that this could also be relevant to men but it is very female targeted. How many men are in abusive controlling relationships that could have had their eyes opened to it? Nobody should have to live in abusive relationships whether male or female. Highlighting that abuse can happen in all kinds of relationships doesn't detract from the fact that women are overwhelmingly the victims of physical abuse.

HairyLittleCarrot Sun 28-Feb-16 22:19:39

Actually, when it comes to fairness and proportional representation, I save my wrath for the fact that there aren't enough women MPs, CEOs, judges etc. I also get frustrated that when I open a newspaper or turn on the TV I see 8 men for every 2 women and the two women are probably naked or dead or getting chased or screaming or being belittled or pornified.

And I think, hey, that doesn't seem to represent the world as I know it. Where are all the women and why are we being treated like shit?

So when an advert pops up imploring men to treat women as humans my wrath has usually been exhausted and I tend to think, well, at least someone is trying to make the world a better place.

And oddly, that is not the point at which I think "how horribly sexist".

But that's just me.

PiperChapstick Sun 28-Feb-16 22:21:48

Everything Hairy said!

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