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Is it unreasonable

(64 Posts)
DisappointedOne Sun 28-Feb-16 17:26:03

to book your wedding for your sibling's anniversary? BIL has and DH isn't happy. The date has no significance for them, it's just a bank holiday.

acasualobserver Sun 28-Feb-16 17:27:40

The date has no significance for them

This is your answer.

CaptainCrunch Sun 28-Feb-16 17:28:54

I wouldn't even remember my siblings anniversaries, I can barely remember my own. What a totally ridiculous thing to get annoyed about.

lborolass Sun 28-Feb-16 17:29:43

Why is he not happy, I don't see the probelm

pengy83 Sun 28-Feb-16 17:30:03

As above. I imagine it didn't even cross their mind. Anniversary dates are only important to those who got married. No one else can ever remember them. I have no idea when my brother's wedding was. I know the month, could take a guess at the year but no idea on the day.

gBean Sun 28-Feb-16 17:30:11

We got married on SIL and BIL's anniversary. They were happy. Our niece got married on the same date. It was lovely to attend a happy wedding on our anniversary, made it more special.

treaclesoda Sun 28-Feb-16 17:30:15

I know what month my siblings got married but I have no idea of the actual date and they wouldn't know the date of mine. So on that basis I think it is perfectly reasonable to book a wedding for someone else's anniversary.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 17:30:23

It's totally fine. A very close family member got married on my birthday. I did suggest putting candles on the wedding cake but she declined. smile

LotsOfShoes Sun 28-Feb-16 17:31:08

Yabu. Who remembers others' anniversaries? Plus, if it's a bank holiday, i can see why they'd choose it.

DisappointedOne Sun 28-Feb-16 17:32:46

There is some history (BIL has backed out of a weekend to celebrate DH's birthday for someone else's wedding and wants a second weekend organised to accommodate him. Guess DH was feeling his brother doesn't really care about him, and he's taken this news the same way.)

Osolea Sun 28-Feb-16 17:33:58

I woudont do it unless there was a particular reason to, but having a wedding on a bank holiday can be quite convenient for guests.

How close are your DH and his brother? Just wondering if this could just be some old childhood sibling rivalry coming out, and your DH will get over it as soon as he realises he's being silly.

PurpleDaisies Sun 28-Feb-16 17:35:26

To be honest, it sounds like he's looking for a reason to be annoyed at your bil after the birthday thing. No one cares about anyone else's anniversary.

redgoat Sun 28-Feb-16 17:37:07

One of my best friends got married on mine and DH's 12th anniversary. I was delighted to share it with them.

Gottagetmoving Sun 28-Feb-16 17:38:13

Your DH doesn't 'own' that date. What difference does it make?
It's a silly thing to get annoyed about. Your DH sounds immature.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Sun 28-Feb-16 17:38:56

Its your anniversary, only you two give a shit about it.

MakeItRain Sun 28-Feb-16 17:43:11

Surely your dh didn't expect his brother to miss a wedding because it's his birthday? Or did I misunderstand your update?

OliviaBenson Sun 28-Feb-16 17:44:30

I remember your previous thread op. I don't think this particular matter is unreasonable, however there does seem to be a pattern of behaviour with his brother and so I can see why your DH would question it. It's like he's trying to make everything all about him. For that reason yanbu.

I hope that you haven't changed the birthday celebrations to accommodate him- his choice to miss it!

Dumdiddlydum Sun 28-Feb-16 17:45:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seven201 Sun 28-Feb-16 17:46:31

I wouldn't care at all. My in-laws are the only people who remember our anniversary and I find it odd that they send an anniversary card. I don't know anyone else's anniversary other that my own and that's not even a big event to us. getting married on a bank holiday is nice as people can make a long weekend of it so maybe that's why they picked then. Also, I would be offended if my sister couldn't attend a birthday thing - it's only a birthday!

Dumdiddlydum Sun 28-Feb-16 17:46:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katenka Sun 28-Feb-16 17:47:57

The date is significant though because it's a bank holiday.

Quite honestly your dh is being really unreasonable.

grannytomine Sun 28-Feb-16 17:51:13

There's 3 ways to look at it:
1. It's a special date for the family as its your anniversary and you can all enjoy the celebration
2. They didn't remember it was your anniversary but was a good date (bank holidays can be great for weddings as people have time to recover if nothing else)
3, It's your date and they have stolen it

Which one sounds a bit silly and rather childish? Up to your husband which way he chooses to look at it but I wouldn't go telling people or he will look ridiculous.

MrsBungle Sun 28-Feb-16 17:51:15

I really wouldn't have a clue as to my brothers anniversary. I also would not miss a wedding for my brothers birthday. I do love my bro though!

dodobookends Sun 28-Feb-16 17:52:48

Relative of DH's got married on our anniversary. We were mentioned in the Groom's speech, and he asked DH and me to stand up and take a bow. Everyone at the reception gave us a big round of applause, it was lovely.

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 28-Feb-16 17:56:10

I remember your previous thread, and thought your BIL was an arse.

But TBH, wedding anniversaries really only matter to the happy couple. BIL is probably unaware that he has picked your anniversary, even if he was at your wedding he'll be oblivious. Still, he'll know when it is now!

I can see why your DH has taken it the way he has though.

Is BIL still going to the piss-up wedding that was arranged months after the "brothers' bash" was organised?

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