to hell with the skinny police

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

I'm size 16 (big, at 5'4")

So is my mum. My mum has been bigger (I think) but I reckon she has been a size 16 for about 20 years.

She is 73. She swims, gardens, walks, runs a little business, is absolutely brilliant at minding small children, she sews, she cooks a lot, travels a lot, checks in on anyone around who has an illness or a problem, and entertains fabulously. She is never ill, never has a sleepless night, has health checks when they are offered on the NHS and they never throw up anything to worry about.

I have worried about my weight my whole life, and yo yo dieted constantly, and had on-off eating disorders. I have hidden from taking part in things I might have enjoyed because I will be seen to be too fat while doing them. I have fainted, cried, and had horrific anxiety attacks while under the influence of hunger. I've then reacted against that and had horribly unenjoyable bouts of overeating.

I am sick to death of it. fuck that noise. I am going to wake up tomorrow and change my life. I am going to eat three good meals a day, consisting of lots of vegetables, along with any other damn thing I want to eat. I am going to avoid alcohol, white bread, refined sugar (except as very special treats), and other than that I am going to eat ANYTHING I WANT.

I doubt I will put on weight but if I do I don't give a fuck. There are no fucks left in my heart to give about this. I have reached peak fatness-fucks. I am scanning the horizon with an extremely powerful telescope and THERE ARE NO FUCKS. I don't CARE. I have HAD ENOUGH.

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse (like Father Ted and Bishop Brennon). then I will laugh and get on with my life.

Does anyone want to join me?

[GretchenBeckett]

I was with you until you said "
If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse" which just sounds plain nasty tbh

[TitClash]

I've been really skinny for years, then in the last 5 years became physically disabled. I can walk, but thats about it.
Then I had a fall and tore my cruciate ligament, and had to rest for three months to let it mend.
That along with the meds, and I've have now gone up to over 12 stone, and the top end of a 14. From 8 stone/10.

I have bewbs!!!

[OnMyShoulders]

I'm a similar size/height to you. I'm not going to join you but I hear you sister!

[StealthPolarBear]

I love your writing :) peak fatness fucks
I won't be joining. I would like to lose a bit of weight. Losing weight if you need to tends to make you healthier, however it is not the be all and end all and you are absolutely right that you have one lfe to live so love it!! Enjoy, here's to your fun :o

[HelenaDove]

I used to be 21 stone and have lost ten stone. Ive gone from a UK size 28 to a UK 12/14.

Im only a 32 back size in bras. I have an hourglass shape. Body shaming is wrong whatever the size of the person.

Their body = not your business.

[HelenaDove]

Did anyone else hear about Cheryl Tiegs comments about Ashley Graham.

[Vintage45]

A size 16 is average.

[Branleuse]

good for you OP. Constantly thinking about your weight and what youre eating is such a shit way to live xx

[TwatMagnet]

Blimey Helena that's some good going!

I hear you OP. You probably will lose weight on that regime but good on you for not giving a single spare fuck - the guilt and misery is two thirds of the battle. Lose those and everything else will fall into place.

[JasperDamerel]

I did this a few months ago. It's ace. I stopped trying to be thinner and started taking proper care of myself, and it's amazing. I'm not any thinner, but I'm much healthier and happier than I was. I suspect that I will actually end up losing weight very gradually in a totally sustainable way, as I am now enjoying some pretty hardcore exercise, and feel happy and confident enough not to bury my sorrows in chocolate any more.

[TwatMagnet]

Yes - I read the Cheryl Tiegs thing. Best retort - can't remember who by - was that she should take her beak out and go brush her hair!
The girl she was talking about isn't even fat! I despair when women do this to women.

[Oly5]

Life is really short and at a size 16 you're not doing as much damage to your health as you could be by being much bigger
It sounds as though health isn't the thing that effects you though... It's low self esteem
You can try all sorts of things for that including counselling

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet

That's not very nice.

I mean, for a start, it's not true. Just like you've argued that not all heavier people are unhealthy, not all lighter people are. I weigh 8 stone, I'm not desperately unhappy or pissed, and I don't make myself sick. I have no eating disorders. I've been bigger and smaller - you can be healthy or unhealthy at any weight.

Eating well and not caring about what other people think, along with not putting pressure on yourself, is a good idea. But don't become bitter about lighter people - you become the opposite of the thing that you hate. You're doing the same to lighter people.

For what it's worth, my mum was a size 24. She absolutely wasn't healthy. Our next door neighbour was a size 28, she was the picture of health. It's the person, not the size.

[HelenaDove]

I bought some digital scales for home yesterday so i can break my reliance on slimming world. Am a target member but dont really want to attend for the rest of my life.

Havent used them yet. As its my time of the month but im going to have to not be on and off them too often. Intend to weigh once a month after my period.

[JasperDamerel]

I think the miserable, vomiting size 8 person the OP is referring to is herself, during her yo-yo dieting days.

So when people suggest she diet, she needs to remember that in her case, it isn't the route to good health.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

It's great you want to have a sensible attitude to food and be happy in your own skin but don't project your anger onto skinny people. Not everyone that weighs 8 stone is pissed and throwing up their meals. Or desperately miserable.

[crookedhooker]

I play a similar movie because that was me. I'm not an ideal weight now but healthier than that 20 year old who didn't eat or made herself sick and almost killed herself with it.

[TattieHowkerz]

You are right to give up on obsessing about weight. Go for it.

But if anyone really actually acts as the "skinny police" outside of your own head you need to dump them. The only people I know who ever talk about weight, diets etc are slightly overweight colleagues who want to drone on about Ryvita. I've never met a thin person who gives a fuck what other people weigh would try to police this stuff.

Your comments about thin people are weird and nasty. It is perfectly possible to be slim, content and not eating disordered. It's a mixture of luck and not over eating. It's not a question of fat and fulfilled or thin and miserable - sorry.

[Loqo]

Nah! You are not convincing me ....because it's sounds like you do care a lot and you wouldnt be avoiding the foods you have listed if you actually 'didn't give a fuck'.

That said I think it's worth giving it a try. perpetual dieting is deadly dull.

Good luck.

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Sorry, to be clear the 8 stone pissed person vomiting in the toilet was me, when I was very determined to be thin at the expense of everything else.

I know there are a lot of slim people who are not pissed or vomiting, and good luck to them. I am not destined to be one of them so I am going to be a happy healthy x stone person (where x = any goddamn number in the world)

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Sorry Anchor cross posted with you. I agree, I've had some nasty comments about my small size from other women, such as 'God do you eat? Haha you must live on lettuce' and they wouldn't dream of criticising a fatter person.

Let's just be accepting of everyone's size.

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Actually my best friend in the world probably weighs about 8 stone (I'm guessing, but I'm twisted and neurotic and very very knowledgeable about weight so I bet I'm right). I am not bitter about slim people at all. I am just bitter about hearing the slim = healthy message, when I have been most unhealthy at my slimmest. what I hear when I hear that is "No one cares how miserable you are, how much you want to kill yourself or how much you hate yourself; the main thing is that there is less of you, and we're using the new morality-word "health" to justify that"

I know that isn't what they are saying. but that is what I am hearing

[TheFairyCaravan]

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet

Nice! Really nice!

I'm 5'4" and weigh less than 8 stone. I'm not desperately miserable, I've never been pissed and I don't vomit any of my meals into the toilet.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I'm glad you have decided to change your mindset howbad it sounds like you've been to hell and back with food issues so I wish you all the best.

[1manwent2mowWent2mowameadow]

I'm 5'7 and 15st 12 so obese on bmi, which tells me I should be between 8 and 11 stone! Since I've stopped obsessing over food and consequently secret eating I've lost 2 and 1/2 stone, so this attitude works, your beautiful if you like yourself (and all that...)
Good luck!