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'We're not TTC, but we're not using any protection'

(147 Posts)
ExplodingCarrots Fri 26-Feb-16 13:42:38

WTF does this mean?! I actually can't get my head around it.

I see this on here a lot (once earlier) and now a friend has just said it ...with my response being hmm.

Anyone care to explain it to me?

orchidnap Fri 26-Feb-16 13:44:22

Not trying but not preventing.

Not overly concentrating on seriously trying but would be happy if it just happened.

GruffalosDad Fri 26-Feb-16 13:44:23

No idea. Our method of ttc was to stop using protection. Makes no sense! Unless they aren't ever having sex?

Heyheyheygoodbye Fri 26-Feb-16 13:45:07

I'd assume it means not charting temperature or tracking ovulation, but not taking steps to prevent pregnancy either.

Sparklingbrook Fri 26-Feb-16 13:45:20

Not that desperate to conceive but wouldn't be the end of the world if you did.

fieldfare Fri 26-Feb-16 13:45:47

You can be actively trying to conceive - using ovulation kits, making sure you have sex in your prime fertile period.
You can be passively trying to conceive - when a pregnancy would be happily met but it is not an all consuming activity.

SunnySomer Fri 26-Feb-16 13:45:56

Well. To me it means we're not actively TTC, but if it happens so be it.
So I don't worry about ovulation, 2WWs etc, don't fret.
Does that make sense?

Osolea Fri 26-Feb-16 13:46:30

It means exactly what it says. Not using contraception, but not actively trying to conceive either.

MunchMunch Fri 26-Feb-16 13:46:33

If a pregnancy occurs then the parents to be won't be upset about it but equally if a pregnancy doesn't occur then they won't be upset about that either.

louise987 Fri 26-Feb-16 13:48:39

Pretty common for me and lots of my friends. Like others said its kind of like accepting you might conceive but without the stress of tracking, monitoring or obsessing over it.

I hated the idea of TTC, took all the joy out of it!

whifflesqueak Fri 26-Feb-16 13:52:22

for us it meant we were having a lot of great, relaxed sex and if we ended up conceiving we would be thrilled, but equally we weren't going to dwell on it if we didnt.

we did conceive. the first month my period returned after breastfeeding. now I'm 38 weeks pregnant and a relaxed, enjoyable sex-life is a distant memory! grin

lidlpony Fri 26-Feb-16 13:55:28

What can't you get your head around?

DH and I 'didn't do anything to prevent it' and that means we were fine for me to get pg or fine for it to take a while. We didn't have to think about babies in the same breath as sex or feel any sense of disappointment if it didn't happen.

Just taking it easy basically.

NinaSimoneful Fri 26-Feb-16 13:57:05

After the wedding DH and I stopped using condoms. We did want a second child but we weren't 'trying' yet. I got pregnant before we got to the actively trying stage.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Fri 26-Feb-16 14:00:27

I suppose it means "Letting nature take its course"

ExplodingCarrots Fri 26-Feb-16 14:01:57

Congratulations on your pregnancy whiffles thanks

All your responses make sense. My friend OTOH said she wasn't ready for another child yet but I suppose if it happened she couldn't exactly be surprised grin

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Fri 26-Feb-16 14:03:29

Could mean not having sex?
I find it a strange thing to hear. Maybe would be parents think it takes the pressure off them or discourages friends from having any expectations.

thebiscuitindustry Fri 26-Feb-16 14:04:47

It's a luxury for those who have youth and no fertility worries. It's TTC of a kind IMO.

EponasWildDaughter Fri 26-Feb-16 14:04:54

These days all the good practical things you can do to increase your chances of conceiving are much more widely well known, and so the phrase TTC tends to suggest actively following cycles dates for catching ovulation.

Not using contraception but not trying means: If it does great and if it doesn't then that's ok too.

(Can i just mention the benefits of taking folic acid when there is a chance you might conceive?

It's so important in those early weeks when you may not even realise you're pregnant yet! smile)

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Fri 26-Feb-16 14:06:21

I used to say this. Dh and I wanted a second child so stopped using contraception but after three years of 'wait and see' we then switched to ttc. Hope that makes sense. grin

Thurlow Fri 26-Feb-16 14:06:39

I see TTC meaning peeing on sticks, insisting on having sex every other day even if one or both of you is not in the mood, maybe changing your diet, cutting out alcohol etc.

Not using contraception means you're simply not using contraception, and not doing the above.

Seems quite clear, really.

shovetheholly Fri 26-Feb-16 14:06:57

I think that (especially for some of us that are in our mid/late 30s) there is a recognised emotional investment in conception that takes its toll. It starts with actively trying (i.e. monitoring cycles and having sex at prescribed times), goes through different varieties of medical assistance and can end in heartbreaking failure after failure of IVF. It's emotionally brutal, in a way that isn't discussed nearly enough.

Simply not using protection can be a way of being less emotionally invested in the whole idea of having a child. If it happens, it happens - if it doesn't, then we'll reassess. It's a way of keeping that stress, pressure and pain at bay for longer.

Helmetbymidnight Fri 26-Feb-16 14:08:41

No for me, not using contraception means getting ready/wanting a baby.

Like the op, I've always found it an odd thing to say.

Shinynewbed Fri 26-Feb-16 14:11:08

My husbands friend's wife couldn't get her head round me saying this one. After I had just been discussing indepth with her mine and my husbands infertility. "So you just don't use any contraception?! Aren't you worried?" No you twat I am not.

Thurlow Fri 26-Feb-16 14:12:31

Of course it means getting ready for/wanting a baby. But there is a difference between doing all the monitoring and soulless sex (been there and come on, anyone who says they are going to enjoy all the TTC sex probably hasn't ever actively TTCd) and just waiting to see what happens.

Thurlow Fri 26-Feb-16 14:13:26

If it happens, it happens - if it doesn't, then we'll reassess. It's a way of keeping that stress, pressure and pain at bay for longer.

Definitely. I have friends who simply stopped using contraception because they knew they would be happy to have a child, and would like one, but that if it didn't happen for them they would still be happy as they felt they had a good life with their partner.

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