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Do school think I stole another child's coat?

(50 Posts)
getagoldmedal Thu 25-Feb-16 20:19:37

My son (I'll call him Terry) came home yesterday without his school branded jacket. This jacket had been given to us as second hand as a gift by another family as their son (I'll call him Ron) had grown out of it.

When I received the coat it had Ron's name label in it. I crossed 'Ron' out with an indelible marker and wrote 'Terry' beside it - very clearly.

Terry told me that school staff had insisted he give the coat back to Ron, despite Terry insisting Ron's mother had given it to him. I understood that this might be an easy mistake for the school to make and I was going to have a gentle discussion with the school this afternoon.

This morning Ron's mum came up to me this morning asking why I'd done this; showing me a photograph of the label and writing in a really panicked and upset manner - I had to remind her she'd given me the coat. I think perhaps she thought I had done this to his current coat. This was rather embarrassing for all involved.

AIBU to be really pissed off? What is the insinuation here: that I had stolen Ron's jacket? This is the only explanation for their thought process. What had they discussed it with Ron's mum and not me? The school didn't speak to me today or yesterday, and I think that they should have spoken to me in the first instance, before going to Ron's mum or perhaps in addition to.

AIBU to make a complaint on this basis?

duckyneedsaclean Thu 25-Feb-16 20:21:41

I wouldn't make a complaint, but it is a bit weird.

Ticktacktock Thu 25-Feb-16 20:22:14

Embarrassing enough for all involved. Sort it with the mum then leave it!

LadyOrangutan Thu 25-Feb-16 20:22:50

Think about it from their point of view. If you had stolen it, of course they wouldn't go to you first.

BUT I would go out of my way to make sure they are now aware of the facts and that you are innocent of their presumptions.

Mummamayhem Thu 25-Feb-16 20:23:00

Rons mum is clearly an idiot if she can't remember. Yes they're assuming it's Rons coat but I suppose it did still have his name on it.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Thu 25-Feb-16 20:26:53

has Ron's mother forgotten she gave you the coat...that's the weird thing

Why on earth would she not remember buying a new proper sized coat for Ron and passing his small outgrown one to Terry

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 20:34:12

I agree re Ron's mum - surely she would have remembered straight away. That's why I think they told Ron's mum I had nicked the coat, and got her so riled up she wasn't able to remember the obvious.

Witchend Thu 25-Feb-16 20:34:49

I suspect that Ron's lost his proper sized coat. Either you've accidentally got the bigger (I assume you checked that your ds hasn't picked up the bigger one) or school was looking out for it and made a wrong but understandable mistake. It's certainly a tale I've heard several times on here, where someone has pinched it and just scribbled the old name out and replaced.

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 20:39:24

So we agree that they are suspecting me of nicking the coat? Wouldn't anyone else be pissed off by this?

CrockedPot Thu 25-Feb-16 20:43:09

This is odd! My friend hands me down her DS' jackets etc to me and I do the same, cross his name out and put my DS' on. If the school asked my DS what happened he would explain, and that would be that. And if they didn't believe it, and asked my friend, she would say 'oh that's fine, I gave my DS old coat to CrockedPots son' Did the mum not remember she had given you a coat??

LyndaNotLinda Thu 25-Feb-16 20:43:39

Name change fail.

I'd be pissed off with Ron's mum, not the school

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 20:46:40

Thanks for pointing out name change.

I'm not at all pissed off with Ron's mum. She isn't a good pal, so although I think it is a bit odd she didn't remember the obvious, she equally doesn't need to be impartial or professional as I think the school really should.

gooseberryroolz Thu 25-Feb-16 20:52:43

Thanks for pointing out name change.

confused It didn't really need pointing out grin

SavoyCabbage Thu 25-Feb-16 20:53:24

I'd be pissed off with the school for not listening to terry when he said it was now his coat. Why wouldn't they just say 'OK' to that.

And I'd be pissed of with ron's mother too as she was accusing you of pinching his coat. She must know you if she's handing down clothes. So why does she think you would steal her child's coat!

MeMySonAndl Thu 25-Feb-16 20:54:01

I would probably make a fuss and asked them to talk to me first before they accuse me of stealing stuff with my child an another parent.

This remind me a time when there was someone stealing clothes from the pegs in the holiday club. DS had his new coat stolen, and the club told me I never send it in, then a jumper, again the same stupid remark, and then the thief stole his old coat. The staff forcefully made the point that DS was not wearing it at the start of the day until I pointed out the detachable hood of the coat, still at the peg, that the thief had left behind. I just said to them I was pretty sure I had not sent DS with a detachable hood only that morning! Frankly, I was morre irritated by the staff's attitude than the thefts.

Ilovetorrentialrain Thu 25-Feb-16 20:54:29

OP did she actually forget giving you the coat? How odd!

(Name changes are really obvious as OP posts are in a different colour for a lot of people). I got confused then too!

SaucyJack Thu 25-Feb-16 20:56:08

I think you could've avoided all the bother if you'd just put your son's name in it when it was first handed down to you is what I think.

Justanotherusername1 Thu 25-Feb-16 20:57:07

How odd. In the primary mine went too dd3 (my 4th) when she was in year 6 came home with a school coat that was a tiny size.. It was sent home with her because on the back of the tiny label was her older brothers name (who was no longer in the school) However the size of it made it clear it would not be hers as a hand me down.

I had actually donated it back to the school to sell in a 2nd hand uniform sale. Thankfully I knew who had bought it as she had one day in general chat told me she had found out it was ours she had got. So it was returned to her (and she made sure a better label of her surname was in it)

At no point though was it claimed any one had stolen the coat. A strange thing to do.

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 21:00:08

I did put my son's name in it, Saucy, the day it was given to us. I even sent the parents a fecking thank you card!

The children are in different classes, and don't hang their coats near each other. I don't know why they didn't listen to Terry either. It's odd.

Phalenopsisgirl Thu 25-Feb-16 21:01:24

As if you'd steal a coat and then simply cross through the name, lol

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 21:02:59

Ron's mum walked up to me saying 'are you Terry's mum?' I'm not sure if she had completely forgotten, not realised who I/my son was etc. Look, I think she is a bit odd for forgetting she'd given me a coat and presumably leaving Ron's coat on his actual peg at the end of the day. But I am pissed off with the school, the insinuation is that I am a thief - a stupid one who could quite easily have cut out the name label (I realise the irony of me saying this) and never have been found out.

StealthPolarBear Thu 25-Feb-16 21:04:35

Hoe odd. I've had similar with jumpers we've handed on but school handled it badly

Oneteddyonekitten Thu 25-Feb-16 21:07:08

MemysonandI - I would find this so irritating, why would they (with 30-odd kids to think about) know everything sent in by each parent, and you (with one or two) not have a clue?!

hmcAsWas Thu 25-Feb-16 21:09:45

Ron's mum is away with the fairies! - considering she had received a thank you note for it

MammaTJ Thu 25-Feb-16 21:16:20

The only thing you can do is next time Ron's mum offers you something is to say you can't be dealing with the hassle that it will cause and you would rather buy brand new without being pre-labelled, thank you very much!

It is most odd that she could not remember having given it to you, and would have pissed me off majorly, especially upsetting my DC!

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