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To think I'd enjoy working as a traffic warden

(28 Posts)
Oysterbabe Thu 25-Feb-16 16:04:41

I know people hate them but I really think I'd gain pleasure from ticketing people who park like arseholes. It's only since having a new baby and being out with a pram that I've really noticed how often dropped kerbs are blocked and people park so far on the pavement that you can't pass. Hazards don't mean you can park wherever you want. I'm forever having to push DD into the road. I'd have written 5 tickets today on the short walk to the shop. Why are traffic wardens so hated when discouraging illegal parking is very much a good thing.
Maybe a career change after maternity..

Marzipants Thu 25-Feb-16 16:09:03

Oh I could totally be a stealth traffic warden, and don't get me started on the idiots who cruise through red lights.

It's the uniform though, akin to wearing a "kick me" sign. Actually, why do they wear uniforms?

wannaBe Thu 25-Feb-16 16:10:08

Oh I would. I would write out the tickets with sadistic pleasure. grin.

CruCru Thu 25-Feb-16 16:11:51

Terrifying job though.

wannaBe Thu 25-Feb-16 16:12:02

And a traffic warden. All those drivers who break the speed limit/drink drive etc.... Actually for those I think I should be a magistrate, so ... Magistrate by morning handing down the penalties (max points/fines/bans) and by afternoon I would prowl the streets looking for cars to ticket. grin.

Hygellig Thu 25-Feb-16 17:20:44

I've sometimes thought that when observing the many parents who park on the single yellow lines at prohibited times or on the yellow zig-zags by school. I wonder if it would be illegal to walk around with a traffic warden's jacket on, assuming you could get one on eBay - I bet it would make people reconsider their parking habits.

Lj8893 Thu 25-Feb-16 17:25:51

The traffic warden in my town is lovely. When I pick dh up from work I wait in a public car park (once a week) and if the traffic warden comes he walks really slowly waving at me to give me a chance to move before he has to ticket me. He waves hello at me whenever he sees me around town now (I have a distinctive car) grin

Oysterbabe Thu 25-Feb-16 17:29:44

Don't expect that kind of leniency under my watch grin

pippistrelle Thu 25-Feb-16 17:32:27

I thought I was alone in my ambition to be a Stealth Traffic Warden: I feel like I've found my people. But Marzipants is right: there's just no need for a uniform.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Thu 25-Feb-16 17:35:38

I wrote out a ticket for one of my arsehole neighbour's last night.

Obviously not a proper ticket but a little note under his wiper pointing out his inconsiderate parking overhanging my drive made it very difficult for me to get in.

Id love to be a traffic warden!

Oysterbabe Thu 25-Feb-16 17:35:46

No uniform is a good idea. We'll catch more people.

Neffi Thu 25-Feb-16 17:36:26

You need some of these fake parking tickets.

Chattymummyhere Thu 25-Feb-16 17:39:39

Me and a couple of school mums joke about becoming ninja traffic wardens and how many tickets we could issue on the school runs alone.

I think they should be able to do it without a uniform. A friend who lives in another city police force have apparently set up a thing where you can tweet a picture of illegal parking and the offender will still be fined witch I think is brilliant.

Bdaonion Thu 25-Feb-16 17:39:57

Lj8893 - you don't happen to live in a town beginning with 'W' do you?

Lj8893 Thu 25-Feb-16 17:41:33

No I don't bd is there another happy traffic warden?

austenozzy Thu 25-Feb-16 17:44:04

neffi - I put one of those on the screen of the old bag with a million dogs that boasted of never paying for parking at the park in the town I used to live in. She exploded when see saw it from afar and didn't see the funny when realised it was a prank, which made all the funnier!

SirChenjin Thu 25-Feb-16 17:44:23

I'd love to be a traffic warden - and a traffic police officer. The streets would be kept absolutely clear of parking/driving arseholes - to the extent I'd never want to go off duty.

I am going to get some of those fake parking tickets. Tosser who'd parked his v sporty looking BMW (private reg made to look like Top Gun - cringe) in a disabled bay - presumably to protect it against other drivers opening their doors on his dick mobile - would definitely have got one at the weekend angry

Bdaonion Thu 25-Feb-16 17:45:34

My partner is a civil enforcement officer traffic warden and everyone in our town loves him because he avoids giving out tickets whenever possible unless the driver is a compete wanker

EarSlaps Thu 25-Feb-16 17:54:19

I'd love to be an undercover traffic warden around our school at drop off and pick up! Why are councils not using this army of disgruntled school mums?! I would be happy with £50 a week grin.

EarSlaps Thu 25-Feb-16 17:54:49

Hell, I'd probably do it for free.

figureofspeech Thu 25-Feb-16 18:06:37

I saw a dad swearing and abusing a traffic warden on the school run today. He had parked on a zig zag lines outside the school and a traffic warden correctly have him a ticket. Well the obnoxious twit flew into a rage. -- typical BMW driver--

Gisla Thu 25-Feb-16 18:08:55

I'd love this job too. Although with all the CCTV around nowadays surely they could do it from behind a desk and save themselves from having to deal with the public at all. This is how I would organise it anyway.

TattyDevine Thu 25-Feb-16 18:20:08

Oh I love you OP for admitting that.

It would be quite fun when someone is being a twat wouldn't it.

The abuse you'd cop'd need a thick skin.

Also, it's the kind of job that can define you, to other people the school gates "she's the traffic warden one! I know right? She looks so...reasonable" and out with friends you say something stern and they'd be like, "ooh spoken like a true traffic warden!" etc. grin

Plus, hi viz looks shite on most people.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Thu 25-Feb-16 18:27:49

I would love to Part Time as an AlterEgo to my Ver' Ver' Caring NHS role. (I work P/T)

Comfy Shoes-check
Lots of Excercise-check
Little Handheld Gadget That Would Bamboozle Me-check
Though I'd rather lick a pencil and scowl.

I would request School Routes (and I wouldn't have done it while myy DC were at Primary) but I used to walk home thinking "I'd ticket you. And you" grin

So, in preparation:
"Get a real fucking job" I have already thank you
"Is your Mother proud of you" Yes thanks

SilverDragonfly1 Thu 25-Feb-16 18:28:42

Well, you all have the secret traffic warden jobs sewn up, so can I be a secret trolley warden? With special tickets to put on trolleys people dump in the middle of the aisle while they wander off and powers to break up any groups standing chatting for ages by the end caps?

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