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To hate being called over sensitive?

(42 Posts)
LittleMissUpset Thu 25-Feb-16 15:10:22

I'm the first to admit I can sometimes take things too personally, and I know that's my issue, I'm not perfect. But I try and keep things in perspective.

But I've had some counselling recently for low self esteem and confidence, and I now know that some people are just rude, and I don't have to put up with it. I can't change their behaviour, only my reaction. I try to always be polite and thoughtful, while getting my point across.

I have been volunteering in school and was chair of the Pta last year, to help school out. I did it because I'm a mug I wanted to put on fun events for the children, and raise money for school. I didn't particularly enjoy it, I found it stressful, but seeing the kids enjoying themselves made it worthwhile.

The head teacher was very ungrateful, made it very difficult for us, and never even thanked us for raising £2,500. Came to the agm, was very negative and didn't once thank us. I didn't want a big song and dance, just her supporting us and saying thank you would have done!! I wasn't alone in feeling like this, even the new members commented on her behaviour.

I have since realized she is a horrible vindictive bully (since others shared their experiences, I know I'm not imagining it)

Yet because I have stepped back from the Pta, and am now looking into volunteering for a local charity instead, I'm over sensitive!

The current chair thinks the head can do no wrong, so I have taken a step back subtly, and let her get on with it. She sent a text asking for volunteers for next week, I politely replied saying I was unavailable, and got a snippy reply. Again I'm being over sensitive.

Why is it if people are rude people stick up for them and say it's just their way, yet if you pull someone up, you're in the wrong not them?

I need to start standing up for myself, I think I may be in an emotionally abuse marriage, so my judgement is a bit skewed!

VerySlovenly Thu 25-Feb-16 15:31:34

The headteacher and PTA chair don't sound very nice.... not liking rudeness isn't being oversensitive but at least you can stay away from them.

BillBrysonsBeard Thu 25-Feb-16 15:40:21

Not oversensitive, just not putting up with rudeness which is what everyone should do, maybe then they would change. You look after yourself, you don't need this negativity. Just ignore snippy texts and give it no more head space.

ZiggyFartdust Thu 25-Feb-16 15:43:22

I don't know about oversensitive, but it sounds like you need to be a bit more adult and calm about these things. So you did some PTA stuff (which you didn't want to do anyway) and no-one said thank you and you don't like the HT's attitude. Well, then just step back and don't do any more PTA stuff. It's not a big deal.

Calling people things like "horrible vindictive bully" is quite childish and unnecessary, and you're just making the whole thing into a drama.

Why is it if people are rude people stick up for them and say it's just their way, yet if you pull someone up, you're in the wrong not them?

I know several people who would say something like this. Generally they are very quick to see rudeness in others and incapable of seeing it in themselves. "pulling someone up" is usually done quite rudely and sometimes even aggressively. Far better to just remove yourself from the situation and say nothing.

bulldogclipster Thu 25-Feb-16 15:44:02

I need to start standing up for myself, I think I may be in an emotionally abuse marriage, so my judgement is a bit skewed!

This is the bigger issue here, OP. Do you want to elaborate on this?

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 15:55:39

take no notice of Ziggyfartdust's reply,OP. They reply to everyone in a similar way.

Clearly Ziggy is one of those people that 'calls a spade a spade' ie is rude and has no tact!

ZiggyFartdust Thu 25-Feb-16 16:02:59

If you read my post, I do the exact opposite, in fact. That was my entire point.
If you're going to comment on someones post so negatively, at least read it first. hmm

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:04:19

I did read it and have read plenty of your posts lately and they're all in the same patronising, abrupt tone with a total lack of empathy and kindness.

ZiggyFartdust Thu 25-Feb-16 16:05:25

And you're the none rude one here? If you don't like my posts, don't read them, don't single me out for unwarranted personal attacks.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:06:52

You're the one who's made a personal attack today! Calling the OP childish and saying she's made a drama out of something that was upsetting to her....

ZiggyFartdust Thu 25-Feb-16 16:08:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:10:04

No, I won't 'sod off'. I can post what I like, just like you do on a daily basis....

Olddear Thu 25-Feb-16 16:14:32

Why should you allow someone to be rude to you and not 'pull them up on it' and just walk away from the situation? People can be really rude and cheeky to you, but when you reply in kind, it's you who are the nasty one! I don't get it!
Years ago I was a doormat, and whilst I don't like confrontation, I do stand up for myself now.
I don't shout or swear or cause a scene, but I don't let people off with bullying me! It wasn't easy at first, but some people think their nastiness should go unchallenged and you need to let them know, you will challenge it. Every. Time.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Thu 25-Feb-16 16:18:04

I agree with ziggy inasmuch as I think it best to walk away from a situation with a cool head and that it's not necessary or helpful to dissect all the various motives and feelings involved.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:21:27

Kondos, how has the OP not kept a cool head though? She was polite in her reply saying she couldn't help out. How she feels is how she feels, she is not dissecting anything as far as I can see.

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Feb-16 16:21:36

Blimey, I think you've been a bit unfair to Ziggy GreenFish.

I think her post was spot on really.

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Feb-16 16:22:45

Oh, 'Ziggy GreenFish' sounds like a weird indi pop star blush

Probably needed a comma.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:22:52

Ziggy was harsh, as always

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:24:11

And I can't see the issue in the OP describing the headteacher as a horrible vindictive bully because it sounds like the teacher is one! Why shouldn't someone have opinions about someone who's been nasty to them?

ZiggyFartdust Thu 25-Feb-16 16:24:43

Thank you. I stand by my first post and the posts that disagree seem to prove my point. Those that are big into "challenging rudeness" are far ruder than those they are challenging, quite often.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:26:50

Well you challenged my so called rudeness ziggy and you were far ruder than I was....

But do keep telling yourself that you're an amazing perfect individual as your posts and opinions are hilarious! It's always funny to hear things from a bully's point of view...

WorraLiberty Thu 25-Feb-16 16:29:48

I have re-read the OP and nowhere does it give an example of horrible, vindictive bullying behaviour.

It gives an example of an ignorant and ungrateful attitude though, which whilst unpleasant, is still a completely different thing.

GreenFishYellowFish Thu 25-Feb-16 16:31:32

would you carry on doing PTA work for a headteacher like that then Worra?

KondosSecretJunkRoom Thu 25-Feb-16 16:34:22

Because the whole thing is so emotionally charged. The vindictive head, the enamoured chair, the OP's dramatic name, the whole 'standing up to bullies' narrative.

It's not, 'well that's great and it's not working out so I am looking for new work as a result' it seems unnecessarily wallowing.

Which is not to say I think badly of the OP. But I do think she may be a little over sensitive. And, if she is in an emotionally abusive relationship, I would urge her to use her emotional energy into getting out of that situation than spend it worrying about any of this business with the school.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Thu 25-Feb-16 16:35:19

'That's not great ...

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