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Window latch warning to friend

(22 Posts)
DrMum83 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:06:59

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here but open to opinion!

Our best friends live in a 3 storey Victorian house.
We stayed over last weekend and the next morning, her DS (aged 2) and my DD (age 1) were playing upstairs. My DH was supervising.
The son went up to the top floor and in one of the bedrooms, the window is high up but accessible as you can climb up a raised platform to it. The DS climbed up and managed to open the window and my DH quickly closed it and took the kids into another room.

We were talking about the weekend a few nights later and my DH relayed this story to me. I thought I would text my friend to tell her that the window could be opened. I said:

DH tells me that DS climbed up onto the window ledge of the upstairs room and is quite capable of opening the window... Eek! Thought I'd tell you in case DS is ever playing upstairs and is feeling suicidal!

Her response:

There is a child lock on the window, it can't even be opened by an adult.
Love the fact your DH thinks he spotted something that escaped our notice, lol. (And then sent me a photo of the locked window)

My response:

My DH thought it was cool that he could open it. No awareness of implications.. Ha! He's adamant DS opened it though! The room where DD slept... (I was trying to portray that we weren't being high and mighty, I was genuinely worried her DS may fall!)

Maybe it was the skylight (it wasn't)

I just think it was an odd, defensive response. She has form for this. I really don't think I was unreasonable to mention it though was I? She hasn't mentioned it since.

ComeonSummer1 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:10:10

Think you did the right thing and she's being silly if dyes embarrassed. It can happen to us all and you were a good friend to warn her.

Let it go now though and put behind you.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Thu 25-Feb-16 14:38:48

She's probably just worried and it's making her defensive. I think it's odd that your dh didn't mention it at the time though.

TiffanyAtBreakfast Thu 25-Feb-16 15:03:51

She's embarrassed and feels 'told off'. YANBU to mention it, but I'd let it go.

HardleyWorthit Thu 25-Feb-16 15:11:08

YANBU and your initial text was fine. Don't say anymore, she'll get over it.

Atenco Thu 25-Feb-16 15:17:37

Silly woman. My dgd is two and a half, and can get up to disastrous mischief when out of sight for two seconds.

honeyroar Thu 25-Feb-16 15:19:27

I think that you were right to tell her. However. Her reply suggests to me that your oh has picked her up on things before and she's on the defensive. Your later comment that she "has form" points to it too. So I'm not sure!

BillBrysonsBeard Thu 25-Feb-16 15:29:26

Very defensive... Probably a combo of being in a bad mood at the time and feeling embarrassed, or feeling her parenting was in question. I've felt similar but kept it to myself as I know it's a ridiculous response when someone is only trying to help/has concern for safety. Is this out of character OP? If anything did happen then at least you warned her, but I think she'll have checked the window out despite her response.. "DS can you show me how to open the window?"

Floggingmolly Thu 25-Feb-16 15:42:58

Jesus, what a patronising cow with her lols hmm. Shove her through the window next time you're there, just for demonstration purposes.

Witchend Thu 25-Feb-16 15:44:26

I wonder if there's a child lock on so it can't be opened more than a small amount. That's what we have. So your dh might think he'd opened it, but she knows he can't really get it open.

I would find it very strange that you dh apparently thought it was such a risk he removed them from the room where he was supervising, but not think to mention it at the time.

Arfarfanarf Thu 25-Feb-16 15:46:31

why does she think your husband would lie about it?

StrictlyMumDancing Thu 25-Feb-16 15:56:23

My DH was adamant we had working child locks on our kids windows and that he'd checked them and couldn't open them. Imagine my shock one day when I caught DS trying to get out of his window onto the extension roof to chase the cat.

I relocked them, checked them and bollocked DH.

DS repeated his escape attempt later that day. Turned out there was locking the window which can wiggle out then properly locking the window. Bloody terrifying though.

diddl Thu 25-Feb-16 16:10:46

I think it's really odd that nothing was said atthe time.

A text some time later would seem strange to me.

Especially containing "Eek" & referencing herson ever feeling suicidal!

That said, you've told her so that's it!

Seems as if there's an issue between her& your husband.

DrMum83 Thu 25-Feb-16 17:39:54

Thanks all. No issues as far as I'm aware between her and dh. She is a perfectionist and likes to portray that though!
The 'eek' and 'suicide' comment was said with the intention of not sounding judgey... (Obv I know suicide isn't a funny thing but in this context I hoped she'd take it as such)

DrMum83 Thu 25-Feb-16 17:40:33

Dh is a dosey bastard hence the 'afterthought'

capsium Thu 25-Feb-16 18:23:17

Text back:

"Oh I've been had! How can I wind up DH so he's not got one over on me?"

Then she might feel super guilty for being so defensive so you'd blame your DH.

Netflixandchill Thu 25-Feb-16 18:57:50

Ours can open and is from ankle level to above head so is quite dangerous and on second floor, however it has very complicated child locks that only allow it to open an inch, to open any further it takes a screw driver and 2 people to apply pressure to some buttons to release the window. Is your DH sure he opened it wide open or that he just opened it a little?

DrMum83 Thu 25-Feb-16 19:19:36

DH is saying it opened fully.. They've just moved into the house.

Duckdeamon Thu 25-Feb-16 19:23:58

Weird of your H not to mention it at the time. Your text was odd too, suicide references etc!, but was good you mentioned it, and her response is defensive.

PenelopePitstops Thu 25-Feb-16 19:28:00

Wierd to text afterwards with that message. Should have said something at the time or when you were there again.

DrMum83 Thu 25-Feb-16 19:33:31

I didn't want to leave it til I was next there in case her DS fell out! I would never have forgiven myself.

The kids were kicking off and we were busy tidying up breakfast stuff etc, I don't think he hid the info purposefully....!

The delay was because DH is dopey and it came up in conversation the next day so texted her.

AnySleepWillDo Thu 25-Feb-16 19:48:22

I feel out of a bedroom window when I was 5 on to concrete. We now live in a 3rd floor flat, my windows and balcony door are ALWAYS locked because I know ds(2.6) can climb really well and wouldn't think twice about leaning out/over to see below. It's something that scares the hell out of me. You were right to advise her that he can open it

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