Illness and the way your DP/H helps(5 Posts)
So Tuesday night I was ill with sickness and diarreah .
The following morning it got really bad and awful strong pains in my back and down my legs, I felt dreadful.
It got to the point I couldn't lay in bed as my back really ached .
DP was helpful in getting me things( drinks) but towards the end of the day I could see on his face he was getting pissed off(not that I asked for much, as I didn't want drink or food)
I ask him to get me a isotonic drink from shop (as he was going anyway)
But the son was going so he knew what I wanted so I asked him instead to get it.
Latter on DP was going on walk so asked him to get me another bottle of drink explained luzuzade sport. He came back with wrong one(because he say yer yer and isn't really listening to what I'm saying.
I just said that the wrong one , well I just looked for luzozade orange and got it. Said I made him look stupid because son knew what I wanted but he wasn't capable and it was ok for me to forget thing like I did yesterday!
One thing,but I got everything else.
This led to him walking out back to the shop.
Because I was feeling so poorly I started crying, thinking I only asked for one thing and he got it wrong and this led to a row.
This morning it was on my mind so said I need to say something as its playing on my mind. Ok what is it
So I say how come whenever I'm ill you start ok then as the day get on I can tell by your face that it's pissing you off me asking you to fetch me drinks etc
When I'm poorly you don't seem to recognise this or take it on board.
When it's your friend with a condition that's got a name to it Ie kidney, prostrate you can visit in hospital and nothing too much
I got well if you think I was pulling my face then that's upto you,but I was just fed up you'd ask for one thing then another.
If you don't like it, you know what to do.
I burst into tears, as it felt like I couldn't even explain to him how I felt.
It then got a bit heated and he started to say how it was his duty!!
And it was my duty that I went to the hospital with him on Monday.
I felt angry as DUTY his duty, I think in a loving relationship it's what you do for one another give them support,help in times of need.
I'm I wrong in thinking like this? Getting it out of context
How does your H/DP react when your poorly , do you get any help, is it left to you to fend for yourself.
I'd like others opion on this, AIBU
My Dh will do anything, a hundred things if I ask him. However I'm appreciative of this and if he got me the wrong item I wouldn't have complained. I think you should have let it go not go on about it till the next day.
What is communication between you like generally?
I think I mentioned when he came back it being the wrong one because I knew he wasn't really listening to what I was saying at the time and it escalated from there.
It wasn't the fact of the drink
it was his manner saying it was his DUTY!
I would do anything for him but I don't think/look at it as my duty
And he doesn't take on board any illness I have because it's not got a name
Like just now he's asked do I want cheese sandwich, I'm throwing up and diarreah waiting for doctor. I just wish he'd think more.
Communication used to be really good, lot of discussions, but over the years it's a bit up and down
I even have to decide what's for son and his tea, instead of them sorting it themselves he comes to me.
I'm probably just feeling sorry for myself and have this idea of him able to run the house without asking me all the time
And getting everything out of context and making an issue out of it.
Battling flu at the moment and complete exhaustion from full time job, two year old, pregnancy and house renovation. My brain/body has totally shut down the past two days and I've been in bed by half seven each evening. DH has been amazing. Gets in from work and takes over and let's me go straight to sleep. It's the only way we can get through illness as a family, if the other takes up the slack.
YANBU and your DH could definitely be more thoughtful and patient.
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