Is my DH BU? I think he is.
My 5 year old DD's old toddler bed broke at the weekend. Tomorrow is my day off so I am going shopping for a new bed for her. DD is rather stereotypical in her 5 year old likes and loves princesses, love hearts, jewels etc. Her bedroom has white walls and pink, white and lilac bedding and curtains.
In my mental list I considered:
- It needs to last beyond her girly phase so I am not buying anything pink or lovehearted or a 'princess bed' which would be her heart's desire.
- However I do want her to be excited about her new big girl bed so I was going for something quite 'pretty' like a white metal framed bed with some curves on it which would still be suitable for the teenaged girl she will become
- This will also go with the decor of the room.
I mentioned to my DH that I was going to buy the bed tomorrow and was this OK (meaning, is it OK for me to spend the money tomorrow) and he said 'Yes, but I don't like white or girly. Get her a black or silver bed frame.'
I think this is unfair. His reasons are, he is contributing to paying so he should get a say and he doesn't like girly beds. My argument is, I am not buying a bed for him, it's for her, and whilst I will have due regard to the longevity of the bed and not go over the top with lovehearts etc, I don't want to buy something solely utilitarian (as all the silver beds seem to be) as she is all excited about her first big girl bed. I don't think he's considering her. He says 'guests may have to sleep in it' and I say 'Maybe once a year for a couple of nights, and I think they could manage a white bed'.
He says I can't just overrule him, to which I respond that he is just vetoing something based on reasons I disagree with, and is effectively overruling me.
Anyway in the end he said huffily 'just buy whatever bed you want' and has gone out (this was scheduled, he's not gone in a strop), but now I feel like if I do buy the bed I had planned I will feel all guilty.
Am I unreasonable to think that when you are buying a piece of furniture for a family member you consider their likes, tastes, room decor etc rather than choosing a bed that you would yourself want to sleep in? Or is his desire to have his opinion listened to and followed perfectly reasonable? have made some compromises as I originally suggested a daybed with trundle which he vetoed as he doesn't like them either, so as far as I'm concerned I have alreday taken his opinions and views into account!
