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Was this a weird thing to do?

(28 Posts)
VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 22-Feb-16 21:42:39

Every week I take DS to his swimming lesson in town. We go straight from school, and get there with an hour before it starts. We usually go to a big chain coffee store for a certain snack before hand - a pack of two biscuits, which we share. I'm disabled and VI, and alternate between using an electric wheelchair, and a crutch with cane, depending on whether eyes or pain are worst.

Sometimes (when money is okay) I'll have my favourite coffee. Other times (more frequently), I'll have a tap water to share with DS, or a filter coffee. We've been doing this same routine for about 18 months now, and we really enjoy the time together. I always make sure I budget for the £2 a week for the biscuits, even if I can't manage the coffee as well.

The same woman has been working there for as long as I can remember, and she is always so, so lovely. She always takes the time to ask DS how school has been since the last week, to ask how I am, to be generally sweet. And she always brings whatever I've ordered over for me, even if it's just the tap water, so I don't have to struggle with my hands full. She often comes over to ask if we need anything. And she always makes me smile, just because of her demeanor, whether I'm low or in pain or stressed.

Today we went in as normal, and she asked how we'd been because she hadn't seen us for a few weeks. I asked how she was, because I remembered her saying she was taking her baby on holiday soon last time I'd seen her. She said she was leaving tomorrow to go back home for a few weeks (from somewhere in Europe) and was very excited. And then she carried my drink over and asked DS how he was as normal. She came over to check how we are, and if we needed anything.

As we were getting ready to leave, I gave her some money, and told her to get her and her baby something whilst they were away. It wasn't much, we're pretty skint, but I wanted to give her something. She honestly brightens what would otherwise be a really stressful day (I hate taking DS swimming with a passion - it's awful for all my conditions), and saying "thank you" again didn't seem to be enough.

But some of the other customers were staring at me and talking when I went back to my seat, they obviously thought it was a weird thing to do - was it? It's made me question what was supposed to just be a nice gesture.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 22-Feb-16 21:46:32

ignore them. it's lovely and she sounds lovely. it's really nothing weird to tip good service and fir her to interact with friendly regular customers.

who gives a shit what they think anyway.

99percentchocolate Mon 22-Feb-16 21:47:19

I think it was a lovely gesture and hopefully this woman will begin to realise now the impact that she has on your day. Ignore the others - it was a very thoughtful thing to do. flowers

monkeysox Mon 22-Feb-16 21:47:32

That's a lovely thing to do. She'll be touched flowers

myname2016 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:48:56

I don't understand why people were staring from what you've described, but honestly, paying people for being pleasant and polite leaves me baffled, unless it's a context where a tip might be expected.

Fully expect to be called a miserable bitch now mind!

Ginkypig Mon 22-Feb-16 21:50:55

As long as you and her were comfortable and happy with the situation that's all that matters.

Everyone else can fuck off with their judgmental stares.

NoMoreGrimble Mon 22-Feb-16 21:51:07

That's a lovely thing to do and not weird at all, you probably made her day.

CornishDoll82 Mon 22-Feb-16 21:53:21

I read all that expecting something weird to have happened but nothing did!

fassbendersmistress Mon 22-Feb-16 21:53:49

Not weird at all, a lovely thing to do. And you're setting your DS a great example.

Not weird, it was lovely, and service in a coffee shop is somewhere where tips can be expected...

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 22-Feb-16 21:57:01

You tipped a waitress. How could that possibly be a weird thing to do. Did you make a big show of going over somehow or something? I don't mean deliberately of course but it's fairly normal to leave a tip on the table.

Osolea Mon 22-Feb-16 21:57:12

The person you intended the lovely gesture for will have gained exactly what they were supposed to, the thoughts of complete strangers are irrelevant.

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 22-Feb-16 22:01:07

Kingdom - I went over to her personally; if I wasn't VI, and could read her name badge, I'd have left it on the table with a note saying it was for her. One of these coffee shops that shall remain nameless but you shutter through like cattle wink But I didn't make a big fuss of it.

Myname - if it had just been once, I wouldn't have, but like I say she's been doing the same thing for a year now, and she mentioned she was going away. I remember being a relatively new mum, and I also remember working in a coffee shop - underpaid, overworked, and generally unappreciated.

AnotherTimeMaybe Mon 22-Feb-16 22:03:28

Awwww how sweet! You made her happy how lovely
There will always be weirdos out there, ignore them!

Lurkedforever1 Mon 22-Feb-16 22:08:37

Paying someone for being kind is weird. However I wouldn't describe your situation that way. More of a friendship type thing from what you say, and in that scenario it's not weird at all. I'd guess anyone staring was doing so more in a people interest/ watching sort of way, or alternatively they are just cunts who hadn't realised the lowly staff were actually normal humans and allowed to be on a level with their superiors, the customers.

MattDillonsPants Mon 22-Feb-16 22:18:39

It is not weird at all! A few people have done similar when my DC were little....given me some money for some souvenirs when we're going away or @get the little one something for Easter@ type of thing. It's fine OP!

Also....where I'm from in the North of England older people often give little ones 50-p or a pound on the bus or in the shops. It's an old custom....

edwinbear Mon 22-Feb-16 22:22:48

People were looking because it was a lovely, kind, heart warming thing to witness, that's all. Watching an interaction like that would have made me feel all warm and fuzzy for the rest of the day.

JaneAustinAllegro Mon 22-Feb-16 22:23:19

that was really nice of you and you have context and background with this waitress. Screw the other customers (& what MattDillon said - not unusual for a total stranger to put a coin under the baby's pillow, which as a southerner feels more strange!)

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 22-Feb-16 23:50:01

Okay, thank you - I feel a bit more sane now grin

JeremyZackHunt Mon 22-Feb-16 23:55:07

They were probably just curious at something unusual rather than being disapproving. I suspect you have made her day and it's nice to see two people being kind to each other smile

Monty27 Tue 23-Feb-16 00:02:54

That was a lovely thing to do, and lovely of her to have been so caring too. I hope she comes back. smile

It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Lovely.

ophiotaurus Tue 23-Feb-16 00:06:31

Not weird at all. It was very nice of you. She sounds lovely as well.

emilybohemia Tue 23-Feb-16 00:30:43

Not weird. You're nice, she's nice, it's all good.

BillBrysonsBeard Tue 23-Feb-16 00:58:43

I would be looking over at you doing that OP but only because I imagine it was a lovely and rare thing to see. I bet others were thinking the same.

FoolsAndJesters Tue 23-Feb-16 01:18:18

Well, I think it was a bit weird but 'nice' weird not hoiky bosoms weird. smile

Not being funny but I doubt the other customers were thinking anything or talking about you. Not unless you were speaking really loudly or something. Unless you heard them saying 'wow, that lady is weird' I'm not sure why you would assume that was what they were thinking. Iyswim.

It's funny there have been two threads in the last day involving posters being nice to other people in cafes - both where there was a person with disabilities involved, is this a new MN Thing wink

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