To be sick of my work colleagues attitudes towards this new member of staff?

(81 Posts)
IsEatBedThyme Mon 22-Feb-16 07:17:36

I work in a private nursery and 2 weeks ago a new member of staff started. Lovely person, very good with the children, fully qualified, fantastic sense of humour, has a penis. Shock horror!

I appear to be the only member of staff who doesn't give a flying fuck that it's a man. The children all love him. He makes up funny stories, dances with them, sings silly songs.

Why are people so bothered about men working with children? Is it really so odd? For what it's worth, he has 5 children of his own including twins so it's not like he isn't experienced!

My other colleauges are saying some really nasty things. He shouldn't be allowed to take the children toilet or change nappies, he shouldn't be left on his own with the children, he must be gay (what the fuck!?!?).

It's disgusting. He's a lovely guy. The funniest part is, his name is common on both men and women, so when we were told he was starting, we were only told his name and not that it was a man. The shock on everyones faces when he was introuded was hilarious. It didn't bother me one

Euphemia Mon 22-Feb-16 07:23:21

Male student teachers face the same. A colleague of mine actually groaned when she heard we were getting a man. angry

TheWoodenSpoonOfMischief Mon 22-Feb-16 07:30:23

Looks like it's time for some diversity training or something.

Bellygirl Mon 22-Feb-16 07:31:27

YANBU but your colleagues are...poor guy! I know a lot of people with bad attitudes towards men working with kids but only if it's a nursery they are working in, they don't seem to say anything about male teachers hmm

LastOneDancing Mon 22-Feb-16 07:35:34

It's a real shame. More caring male role models for ypung children is exactly what this world needs.

StealthPolarBear Mon 22-Feb-16 07:37:36

Isn't the manager managing this situation?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Mon 22-Feb-16 07:38:21

When I trained as a Nursery Nurse back in 1980 we had a male on our course and he met with a bigoted attitude at almost every turn, I still work with babies and men in childcare still come up against the same discrimination. It is very sad.

OTheHugeManatee Mon 22-Feb-16 07:42:15

Until people stop behaving like this toward men in traditionally 'female' roles, women will still struggle in traditionally 'male' ones. So your colleagues are setting back the cause of women's equality.

This is sex discrimination plain and simple, and the nursery manager needs to come down on it like a ton of bricks.

busymum17 Mon 22-Feb-16 07:42:32

How awful!
Is there any way you can help him be more included (for example inviting him to drinks with work colleague if you do that)?
I hope he doesn't have too much of a hard time working there.

YouMakeMyDreams Mon 22-Feb-16 07:42:59

Yanbu at all. When ds1 was little he would have much preferred a male teacher. He was very shy and tended to migrate towards the dad's rather than the mums for some reason.
When our local council advertise TA and nursery assistant jobs the ads now state these roles are under represented by men and that male applicants are very welcome. It's a shame.

merseyparadise Mon 22-Feb-16 07:43:25

I agree with you lastone, so sad that people think like this though.
In my ds nursery there is a young teenage lad doing an apprenticeship in early years, I think it's great, all the kids love him.

Wolfiefan Mon 22-Feb-16 07:44:05

DD had a wonderful bloke working at her nursery. She loved him to bits. Your female colleagues sound horrid. He sounds lovely!

IsEatBedThyme Mon 22-Feb-16 07:45:20

Unfortunately our manager is a waste of space, her response to anything is that she'll sort it, but never does. She is the owners sister. Owner doesn't live in this country.

MrsSparkles Mon 22-Feb-16 07:52:07

That's reslly sad. I remember at a nursery we went to look round there was a male worker and you could choose not to let hm change nappies etc. I thought that was awful by the nursery.

DD ended up at another nursery in the same group who didn't have these rules. They all adored the male nursery workers.

StealthPolarBear Mon 22-Feb-16 07:53:33

Well she might have a grievance on her hands soon then

LoveBoursin Mon 22-Feb-16 07:56:21

Tbh? I think it's a crap attitude but I think it's also very understandable.
How many times have we been told that for safeguarding issues, children should never be in their own with a child, let alone when that adult is a man?
How often do you hear comments on here about how inappropriate it is for xx to help a child in the toilet\change in front of that person etc because he is a man?

So yes I agree, I'm absolutely sure that this guy is great. I'm also absolutely sure that the attitude of your colleague is the one prevalent in our society.

Terribleknitter Mon 22-Feb-16 08:03:25

I worked with a newly qualified male NN who unfortunately left the job while I was on maternity leave because of attitudes like this. Not from staff, we thought he was as good as any newly qualified nursery nurse and he's a nice bloke anyway but some parents were very unhappy and extremely vocal about a man looking after their child. The P word was mentioned...
Fortunately it drove him back to college and he qualified as a primary school teacher a couple of years ago.
YANBU but I did find when working in a private nursery that there was a lot of bitching about other staff especially newly qualified ones from the older more experienced staff. I think many feel threatened by the constant changes to the role and the fact that younger NN's get the latest training without having to forget what they learnt.

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 22-Feb-16 08:04:16

That poor man.

not as if there aren't plenty of female abusers out there. being female doesn't make the children any safer.

I hope he doesn't let it get to him and the parebts have a few more brain cells.

cosytoaster Mon 22-Feb-16 08:11:31

YANBU - my DSs did not have a single male nursery nurse or male teacher all the way through primary school, I would have much preferred them to have seen some men in this type of role too. This type of attitude sets back equality for both sexes.

EarSlaps Mon 22-Feb-16 08:15:38

There is now a man in the preschool room at DS2's nursery. All the children absolutely adore him and he's fantastic with them. You can see how much he enjoys his job and the parents couldn't be happier. I hope the other staff are lovely to him, but it's generally a very warm, relaxed place so I would think so.

Katenka Mon 22-Feb-16 08:16:09

Tbh? I think it's a crap attitude but I think it's also very understandable.
How many times have we been told that for safeguarding issues, children should never be in their own with a child, let alone when that adult is a man?

Never. Especially when this person has been checked out and not just because they are a man

Katenka Mon 22-Feb-16 08:18:09

Op Yanbu. It's discrimination and I am sure the same women would be kicking up a fuss if they received the same treatment due to their gender.

They are also doing women a disservice, by planting childcare roles in the 'women only' camp. It's disgusting.

BreconBeBuggered Mon 22-Feb-16 08:18:23

I've seen similar attitudes amongst parents to male student teachers. The very same parents who also complained that the teaching staff were all female. I gave up trying to persuade them to think that through for maybe five seconds.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Mon 22-Feb-16 08:22:41

Your colleagues are idiots. Utter sodding idiots.

Bogburglar99 Mon 22-Feb-16 08:28:23

Both of my kids were taught by different male teachers in nursery and reception.

They were both superb teachers and the kids had a wonderful experience in reception. I hesitate to gender-stereotype in reverse, but I think male teachers can bring a greater sense of fun, energy and downright craziness to the teaching of small children. In any case it is undoubtedly good for small children to have both male and female role models, and to see that both men and women can do the care and education of small people.

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