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To wish I was more confident

(4 Posts)
Headdesk Mon 22-Feb-16 03:28:02

I'm in my third year of uni (mature student) and I'm starting to look for jobs after I graduate in July. I have found loads of jobs that would be my dream jobs but I won't apply for them. every time I go to apply for them I don't because I think I'll be laughed at. I feel like I've got as far as I have at uni by luck, by managing to bluff my way through it. I just don't feel good enough. I see people in my year who are a good 5 years younger than me already working in the field I want to work in before even graduating and I just wish I had their confidence.

bb888 Mon 22-Feb-16 03:40:41

Lots of people feel like this, google imposter syndrome. I work with some amazing people and the majority of them think that secretly they don't know what they are doing and that one day someone will figure that out.
I think its a case of setting your feelings to one side and getting on with it - your job applications won't be laughed at, and if you aren't qualified for the role then you won't be shortlisted, and if you are shortlisted then there was obviously nothing wrong with your applying.
Its probably easy for the people working in the field to look confident doing it because they are just doing what they do every day, so it should look natural. Is there anyone at the uni that you could talk to for advice on job applications - it might help it all feel more plausible if someone you already know thought the jobs were realistic ones for you?
Good luck with your job applications smile

RudeElf Mon 22-Feb-16 03:44:14

I've learnt over time that the key to confidence is actually to not give a fuck. It sounds like a stupid facebook meme but it really is true. The sooner you stop caring whether other people will laugh at you* the sooner you will find yourself relaxing and actually just enjoying what you are doing and because you are enjoying it you will get better at it and you will feel more confident doing it. It is a hard thing to get a handle of if it doesnt come naturally to you but its very liberating. And if you struggle to stop caring then i use the fall back of "fake it til you make it" because nobody can tell the difference so what does it matter if you have confidence or just appear confident?

*(they wont, they wont give you any where near as much thought as you think they are)

Katenka Mon 22-Feb-16 06:42:56

I used I be like this. But pp is right. Confidence is about not caring what others think.

I got to the point where I was fed up of holding myself back, just because of what other people may think.

I now have no fucks to give. grin

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