To be annoyed at these parents

(94 Posts)
shiningbright567 Sun 21-Feb-16 18:26:08

DS2 is 9. He's friends with another boy at school of the same age. This boy's parents are clearly a lot more relaxed than we are, which is absolutely fine. Over Christmas, they allowed their son to watch the film Spy, which clearly has a lot of bad language in it and from what I understand some questionable images, which their son relayed to DS2. The week before last, they allowed him to watch Ted, again language and some of the drug content was relayed to DS2 and last weekend, it was Love Actually, a wonderful film but not appropriate for a 9 year old, as evidenced by their son's graphic description of John and Judy's relationship. While a lot of the images in these films is clearly passing their son by, he is obviously picking up on a lot of it and passing it on. I completely respect their decisions to show their son these films, it is their son. But I am quite annoyed that they have let him repeat the contents in the playground. I rarely see either of the parents at school, either an aunt collects him or the parents fetch from an after school club. Would I be completely unreasonable next time I see them to bring this up with them and ask them to stop their son from repeating what he has seen in films? Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed about this? Would most people let their 9 year olds watch this?

allegretto Sun 21-Feb-16 18:27:35

If they are 12 cert I would say I don't want my son to watch them.

CooPie10 Sun 21-Feb-16 18:28:35

How do you think they are able to control what he says on the playground?

shiningbright567 Sun 21-Feb-16 18:29:26

I'm pretty sure they're all 15 certificates allegretto

5madthings Sun 21-Feb-16 18:30:46

I would mention it to the school, they can speak to the child and his parents.

I think ted is a 15?

redskytonight Sun 21-Feb-16 18:37:46

If he's 9 he's going to be exposed to bad language etc at school anyway. Actually impressed you've got to 9 without him being aware!

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 21-Feb-16 18:38:12

His parents can hardly control what he says on the playground, but they can control what he watches at home and IMO Ted isn't suitable for a 9 year old.
As you have no direct contact with these parents, I would speak with the class teacher to flag your concerns about what this boy is repeating to your ds. The teacher can monitor what's going on in class and on the playground and maybe have a word with parents about age appropriate viewing.

TwistyBraStrap Sun 21-Feb-16 18:44:48

I would be annoyed, and I wouldn't let a 9yo watch any of those films.

Floggingmolly Sun 21-Feb-16 18:47:32

The only one of those films I've seen is Ted, and I'd let my 9 year old watch it over my dead body.

deregistered Sun 21-Feb-16 18:48:24

You'll get loads of YABU but anyone who's seen Ted or the sex scenes in Love Actually (fancy explaining the porn 'extras' to a nine year old anyone?) would not like their 9 year old kids to see them.

YANBU

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Sun 21-Feb-16 18:53:06

The parents don't have the right to show their 9 year old inappropriate films. Speak to the school.

rookiemere Sun 21-Feb-16 18:56:09

DS is 9. I let him watch 12A films on the basis that they are allowed with adult supervision.

However Love Actually and Spy are both 15s and having seen Ted I'm guessing it's an 18, and one of the worst films I have ever been subjected to.

I'd have a word with the teacher.

Youarentkiddingme Sun 21-Feb-16 18:57:23

As it's being repeated at school then you need to speak to the school.

They will take appropriate action. They also won't know who has said something which will hopefully mean it doesn't impact on yiur sons friendship with this boy.

jadorecakesnbiscuits Sun 21-Feb-16 18:57:25

I think it's bad that the child is watching these films and obviously bad that he's relaying it to your son but as far as stuff like this is concerned it's going to come from somewhere, someone's going to say a bad word, there's always kids like that at schools and there always will be, I think it's how you handle it with your son that's important rather than trying to police the children of the playground.

I don't mean that in a goady or patronising way I just couldn't word what I wanted to say very well.

jadorecakesnbiscuits Sun 21-Feb-16 18:58:13

I've never seen the films btw so maybe I'm not in a position to talk! Might google them now

Biscetti Sun 21-Feb-16 18:58:14

The parents don't have the right to show their 9 year old inappropriate films. Speak to the school.

The parents have the right to show what they want. I don't agree with it at all, but the school can't say anything about the viewing choices. They can, I imagine, speak to the child about discussing inappropriate content, but sadly there is fuck all anyone can do about what's viewed at home.

SirNiallDementia Sun 21-Feb-16 18:58:49

FFS, what is wrong with some people? No way would I let my 9 year old watch those films and I'd be fuming if anyone else showed them to him. Completely unsuitable IMHO.

I'd tell the parents you don't want him watching anything other than PG/12 (whatever you are comfortable with).

If they brush it off or don't agree to stop showing the films, I'd not let my son go over and play there.

I'd also have a word with the teacher about the comments at school as they can have a word with the parents.

jadorecakesnbiscuits Sun 21-Feb-16 18:59:44

Biscetti that's very true and it is sad

LilacSpunkMonkey Sun 21-Feb-16 19:04:40

Ah, time for my 'Ted' story again, I think.

Was in Blockbuster when Ted came out on DVD. Bloke there with his daughter aged around 7. Daughter asked if they could get Spiderman. No, says the bloke, that'a a 12 and you're not old enough for it, it might scare you. How about Ted? It's about a funny, talking teddy bear.

Me shockshockshock

LilacSpunkMonkey Sun 21-Feb-16 19:06:46

On the school front, if the OP goes in and says she has a concern about the 9 year old in question she can log the inappropriate films as a safeguarding concern.

Whether the school will take it any further is up to them but at least it's been passed on.

FlatOnTheHill Sun 21-Feb-16 19:07:17

OP let it go. You cannot control what other kids say in the playground. And you certainly have no right to ask the parents to stop their child repeating what has been seen in a film.

Shockers Sun 21-Feb-16 19:08:54

This is a matter for the school to deal with. Have a word with your son's teacher.

LilacSpunkMonkey Sun 21-Feb-16 19:10:16

And what Shockers says. Pass it on to the teacher too.

Squiff85 Sun 21-Feb-16 19:13:06

My son is just 9 and no way would I let him watch love actually!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 21-Feb-16 19:14:03

Yes they log a concern form - it may be just a nudge to stop him watching these

I have asked several parents to not let my DS play 18 video games - it's shocking how many let them play

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