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is it unreasonable to look through someone else's calendar?

(118 Posts)
Magicpinkshadow Sat 20-Feb-16 10:08:34

I just want to gage what is accepted as 'normal'

I'm a very private person the things I put on my hung up calendar can be seen by any one that visits which in its self is ok.

My Dp sister is very nosey, in the past she has attempted to look through a folder with all the household bills in just because I'd left it on the side and Seems to think it's ok to even pick up my iPad when she is here to have a look at what ever she wants. To be fair dp whole family do it so I understand that to them this is normal. Where as in my family we always ask if we want to use or look at something.

So here's the thing, she came round when I was out to see dp and our Dc, I have just notice she has added a day out and her dc's birthdays on our calendar. It's not even for this month! So she has obviously gone through the calendar to add these things!! I mentioned this to dp and said can you ask her not to as I find it quite rude and would not consider doing it at her house, he told me that I was being ridiculous and what does it matter!!

Is normal to look through each other's calendar and other things amongst most families?

AutumnLeavesArePretty Sat 20-Feb-16 10:10:00

I'd be cross, how rude.

Pin lock your iPad too.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 20-Feb-16 10:10:15

I would think that rude.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 20-Feb-16 10:11:44

It would annoy me a bit but more the presumptuousness of adding dates rather than asking you than privacy as such.

CaspoFungin Sat 20-Feb-16 10:12:03

I would have no problem with that what so ever.

usual Sat 20-Feb-16 10:12:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeToMuskUp Sat 20-Feb-16 10:15:06

It's rude. DH's Mum does it, and always reads cards on our mantelpiece, too. She looks through our post if it's left on the windowsill. I asked her not to last time I saw her doing it and she cried to DH that I was mean. It's like having a 5 year old for a MIL.

gleekster Sat 20-Feb-16 10:16:47

EX SIL used to do this, she would flick through my calendar commenting on things that were on it. I felt it was a dreadful invasion of my privacy. To actually write shit on your calendar is really overstepping the mark.

The day out she has written - is that an order for you to attend or is it something she has arranged between herself and DP?

I actually stopped having a wall calendar in the end as I was so fed up with it, I just used a diary instead. EX SIL was livid smile

miaowli Sat 20-Feb-16 10:19:23

My Mum is very into 'what's yours is mine' (to look at), and it does irritate me, but I think in- laws would be a step too far for me! However, I suppose your sil thinks of everything in your house as being her brother's too, and if they're all accustomed to behaving like that, then they prob think nothing of it, as your dp's reaction indicates. It would annoy me intensely!

liz70 Sat 20-Feb-16 10:19:33

YANBU. I would want to tell the nosey mare to keep her beak out. If she wants events added to your calendar she should ask you to enter them. Also agree with password/PIN protecting your devices. I don't need to with my tablet as nobody else looks at it, but I would if need be.

Narp Sat 20-Feb-16 10:21:46

It's intrusive.

My eyes are drawn towards things that are lying around but I try to curb that.

she was over-bearing to put her children's birthdays in there too - making a 'point' maybe

Euphemia Sat 20-Feb-16 10:22:11


I have a look at my mum's just to check that she's continuing to get out and about, but only for the month on display and I'd certainly never write on it!

BertrandRussell Sat 20-Feb-16 10:23:12

The calendar wouldn't bother me at all.

The iPad and the folder of bills would.

CooPie10 Sat 20-Feb-16 10:24:10

Yanbu, very rude. I would have said something though.

Sparklingbrook Sat 20-Feb-16 10:24:44

I think that was out of order. People are weird.
A relative came round once and I found her having a rummage in our freezer, then mooching about in then baby DS's wardrobe. confused

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sat 20-Feb-16 10:26:43

This would wind me up to the point of having to buy a new calendar and rewriting everything I have on it. I know that's an overreaction, but it's just how I process things.

OneTiredMama Sat 20-Feb-16 10:27:21

YANBU. How bloody rude! Don't let her, my SIL is very much like that (though we've prior issues as well) and I quietly let it pass until one day she opened a box on my counter when I wasn't there. It was a thank you present I hadn't opened yet and she took great joy in telling me what it was when I came home. I went through her for a shortcut and it hasn't happened again. I'd stop this now to prevent her invasiveness getting any worse.

Sparklingbrook Sat 20-Feb-16 10:29:14

They are the sort that go through your bathroom cabinets.

Runningbutnotscared Sat 20-Feb-16 10:37:03

Oh! I would do that to a family members calendar, not because I was being nosey (I wouldn't look at what's written in) but because I would think it was nice thing to do.
It wouldn't have crossed my mind that anyone would find that upsetting blush
I would also pick up an iPad and Google random things if bored. Yes I have a phone (and an iPad) but sometimes it's nicer to try a new device. blush blush sometimes I change the settings to annoy them too. I'm didn't realise I'm such an intrusive person.

I wouldn't look through other people's bills though - that's rude.

MrsFrankRicard Sat 20-Feb-16 10:38:21

It's a little rude, the calendar thing wouldn't bother me so much but the ipad and bills definitely would. Although the example above about cards - I have been known to read my mum/sister's birthday cards because I am nosy too.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sat 20-Feb-16 10:39:58

Running if you were my family, you'd be wondering why I never invite you to my home.

chillycurtains Sat 20-Feb-16 10:41:00

It's annoying it's not unreasonable. You are being a bit sensitive of something that is out on display in your house. If it's so private then store it in your bedroom.

YANBU about her looking at your household bills. But then again if you are particularly sensitive then store them somewhere less accessible.

Sparklingbrook Sat 20-Feb-16 10:41:00

Nobody but me is allowed to touch my calendar. angry

LegoRuinedMyFinances Sat 20-Feb-16 10:41:55

I do this to my mums calendar blush I look through it and add things. To be fair we are quite close so I don't think she'd mind.

But I might ask her on the basis of this thread!

PovertyPain Sat 20-Feb-16 10:44:02

sometimes I change the settings to annoy them too.

Wtaf? Please tell me that's a joke! shock

Well at least you now know that you would piss off the vast majority of people, doing that. Mumsnet has it's uses. grin

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