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To feel upset that my friends never give me any compliments?

(36 Posts)
ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 21:46:03

But are always complimentary to each other?

I am always complimentary to them, I say nice things, I comment on their facebook photos saying that their children look lovely or a nice comment on whatever they've posted a photo of.

I know you shouldn't give to receive but it's dawned on me recently that none of my friends ever compliments me or says anything nice about me, yet they all gush over each other. No one ever says anything to me on nights out about liking my hair/anything I'm wearing/the fact that I've recently lost 3 stone, yet they are all over each other saying how much they love each others' clothes/hair/ooh have you lost weight you look fantastic.

I put a photo of my little boy on Facebook last night, and got a few likes from a few friends, no comments or anything though even though in my opinion it was a lovely photo. Friend has put a similar photo of her son on tonight and has got lots of comments from mutual friends about how handsome her son is, how gorgeous he looks. Sometimes if friends put photos of themselves on FB mutual friends will say how they are 'beautiful inside and out'. I never get anything like that said to me.

And before someone says my kids are probably ugly, I'm pretty sure they're not. My two DDs have both done modelling in the past and DS looks very much like DDs.

AIBU to feel upset that none of my friends ever have anything nice to say about me?

southeastastra Fri 19-Feb-16 21:47:01

chickenandcheese you look bloody lovely

GreatFuckability Fri 19-Feb-16 21:52:55

if someone told me i was 'beautiful inside and out' i'd probably delete them for being weird.

Robotgirl Fri 19-Feb-16 21:53:47

.......and that's why I gave up Facebook 2 years ago.

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 21:54:24

I know it all sounds really corny and caught up on appearances but I think because they are all so gushing and complimentary to each other it hurts that they can never say anything nice to or about me.

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 21:55:33

It's in person it happens too.

icelollycraving Fri 19-Feb-16 22:00:31

Are they jealous of your weight loss?
Some people are just nasty fuckers.
I'm sure you're lovely. Waiting for likes on fbs is soul destroying though,don't do that to yourself!

SaucyJack Fri 19-Feb-16 22:02:14

Varys smiled. “Here, then. Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less.”
“So power is a mummer’s trick?” “A shadow on the wall,” Varys murmured,
____________

Facebook is just one massive popularity contest. I don't know you or you friends well enough to be able to tell why you are not deemed worthy of an arse-licking whereas other seeming similar people are- but that's what it boils down to basically.

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 22:02:54

I just keep thinking 'what the hell is wrong with me?'. I don't understand why they can't just make the occasional comment saying a photo of my child is cute, or that they like my holiday pics, or whatever. Just a teensy bit of effort would be nice.

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 22:06:31

Friend who everyone was gushing over earlier has now put on another photo of her younger son and again cue lots of 'Oh he's gorgeous' comments....

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot Fri 19-Feb-16 22:08:20

I was going to start a thread like this too.

When I post a new profile picture the only person who ever likes it is my aunt. And she likes everything that everyone posts.

When other people post pictures on FB they get "OMG! Gorgeous!" "So beautiful" "You're looking amazing" even if they don't actually look that good in the photo.

Some people get more likes for their photos than I even have friends.

I can only assume that no one likes me enough to even pretend they think I look nice.

So YANBU, even though it feels a bit shallow it does feel bad to never get compliments.

icelollycraving Fri 19-Feb-16 22:12:22

Also,if people have loads of friends that they post on frequently,your posts will show on their feed for a very limited time.

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 22:13:10

It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling like I do, TheIncredible. Like you say, it does feel a bit shallow but it does feel really bad and then of course it makes us question why no one can even just type a one word complimentary reply on FB occasionally!

It's very hurtful.

Do you find that your friends are like this in person too? Mine are, gushing over each other and liking each others' hair/bag/coat/figure but no one ever comments on mine. Not one single friend has noticed or at least said anything about my 3 stone weight loss. Yet if another of them loses a pound in weight they sure notice and compliment them!

icelollycraving Fri 19-Feb-16 22:15:42

I suspect they are envious of your weight loss. They aren't friends. flowers

ChickenAndCheese Fri 19-Feb-16 22:17:08

Thank you icelolly, I think you might be right that they're jealous, DH says the same thing about them when I have been upset in the past that they've not noticed.

VertigoNun Fri 19-Feb-16 22:17:46

It's as hurtful in rl as fb. They don't think much of you OP. sad I would pull back and invest your time elsewhere.

I am sure there is nothing wrong with you and your family, it's all social nonsense.

What groups could you join and enjoy in rl and on fb?

Chinesealan Fri 19-Feb-16 22:20:27

I can only think they're not really your friends.

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Feb-16 22:24:31

How do you react when complimented?

Do you come across as uncomfortable?

Fatmomma99 Sat 20-Feb-16 00:12:17

I don't do FB, so can't really comment, but from reading your posts, I'd suspect they're jealous of your weight loss and your kids having done modelling. We compliment each other to boost the self esteem of people we like. It seems they don't think you need that, maybe?

Do you join in the compliments?

affogato Sat 20-Feb-16 01:28:22

Do you like their pictures? I tend to find a lot of it is reciprocal.
I can't think why anyone would ever be jealous of child modelling TBH. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Although I'm sure your children are lovely!

nattyknitter Sat 20-Feb-16 01:46:41

Facebook doesn't show everything to everyone. If your friends have a lot of friends they will only see a small percentage of those on their feed. It could be that you are not showing up to them due to the programming.

Well done on your weight loss.

OneTiredMama Sat 20-Feb-16 01:48:46

They probably aren't being genuine with their compliments anyway so their comments are worth nothing. I agree with others here, they're likely to be jealous of your weight loss. They aren't real friends and I'm sure you look bloody lovely, it would just gall them to say it. flowers

FastWindow Sat 20-Feb-16 01:57:47

Well if theres one place that isnt Facebook it's here.

FastWindow Sat 20-Feb-16 01:59:40

You are probably the most well adjusted of the lot. If they all need the gushing compliments at this age, well then, more's the pity. Leave them to it?

Fratelli Sat 20-Feb-16 06:13:30

They all sound really wierd tbh! They're probably jealous of your weight loss.
You don't need other people to tell you your kids are gorgeous. And you don't need other people to qualify your weight loss. You sound like the only reasonable person out the lot!

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