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To not take my baby into work to meet my colleagues

(47 Posts)
fanofthevoid Fri 19-Feb-16 20:23:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneMillionScovilles Fri 19-Feb-16 20:24:49

YANBU. If you don't know most people too well they won't be bothered, and as you say it's a military operation for you.

Split the difference and send photos smile

edwinbear Fri 19-Feb-16 20:26:26

YANBU I was asked to take mine in both times but frankly could be arsed. I didn't really want work colleagues seeing me in 'mummy mode' either. I prefer to keep my professional and family life separately personally, but others feel differently. Each to their own.

DelphiniumBlue Fri 19-Feb-16 20:26:37

I wouldn't bother. If they are friends then they could come and visit you. If they are not close enough to be bothered to do that, I can't see why you would drag a baby on a long journey like that. They're probably only being polite.

ollieplimsoles Fri 19-Feb-16 20:27:08


You don't need to go in with your baby, I'm on mat leave now too and its about taking it easy and getting used to being a mum.

Your bosses could always pop to your house to visit and meet the baby

Alanna1 Fri 19-Feb-16 20:27:49

I'd go. I get a lot of support from my work colleagues. I have some great memories of one of the most important people in my work shushing my baby gently whilst I was chatting to another colleague and hadnt realised my little one had woken up. It looked beautiful!

Gileswithachainsaw Fri 19-Feb-16 20:29:10


maybe if you put your baby in a nursery closer to work when you go back, you can take him then instead.

PittedOlive Fri 19-Feb-16 20:30:15

God, no. Yanbu. I never took my baby to work while I was on maternity leave (also a complex commute). Colleagues who were also friends I saw outside of work met him naturally, in the course of events, but the others still haven't 'met' DS, and he's heading for four. Well, apart from the time our childminder had an emergency when DH was abroad, and I had to give a lecture with a peevish 10-month-old strapped to my chest...

Doje Fri 19-Feb-16 20:30:41

YANBU. I hate all that where you stand in the middle of a bunch of (probably) women while they stare at you and baby. My work was 10 minutes away and I didn't take DS1 in until I went to hand in my resignation when he was almost 1. I only took him in then because my parents couldn't come round to look after him whilst I was there and I knew it'd be quick.

froggyjump Fri 19-Feb-16 20:31:58

If you are planning to go back to work, take him in near the end of your Mat Leave, and use the time to plan your return with your manager, rather than visiting just for them to meet your baby

megletthesecond Fri 19-Feb-16 20:34:34

Yanbu. My old boss got dead snippy when I said I wouldn't visit. 30 min motorway drive?No thanks!

I like babies in offices but it's daft for the parents to inconvenience themselves.

fanofthevoid Fri 19-Feb-16 20:35:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janeymoo50 Fri 19-Feb-16 20:38:20

I'd normally say yabu (in the nicest way) but not for this one - a 3 hour trip is crazy.

1frenchfoodie Fri 19-Feb-16 20:39:39

I'm planning a 2h commute to central london to go and see my colleages with new baby - but it is my choice and a commute I did til 37+4 at rush hour. There are loads of people I want to catch up with and those that commute from the opposite direction are 3-4h from me so home visits can be even trickier.

Ameliablue Fri 19-Feb-16 20:43:28

If you plan to return to work it is probably worth going as it will also be a chance to meet new colleagues and find out about changes etc.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 19-Feb-16 20:46:03

Well you've left it a long time now so people will probably realise you're not that bothered, but personally I would make the effort.

Personally I would take him in. It's only half a day and on mat leave it's not difficult to fit in! I just don't think you'd bother / have time once you're back at work.

Is there anything else you can do while you're visiting the workplace, e.g. local shops or park? I don't think you need to spend long in the office at all - maybe think of an excuse to leave if you think it's going to be awkward. Plan in advance a good time of the day for your lo and make sure your friends will be around at that time.

magpie17 Fri 19-Feb-16 20:59:17

Yanbu. I took my DS in TWICE and it was exhausting. I work in a big office and have done for over 10 years so I know everyone. To be honest people just stare at the baby and ask you the same questions over and over again 'does he sleep/eat well' mainly. It's boring for you and boring for them and most definitely boring for the baby.

Genuine friends will come and visit you, but if you don't have any actual friends from work then I'm sure nobody will be that bothered.

SquidgeyMidgey Fri 19-Feb-16 21:02:20

YANBU at all. 90 mins each way for what exactly? If they were actually bothered they'd come to you.

MadisonAvenue Fri 19-Feb-16 21:04:13

YANBU. You know, it never crossed my mind to take my baby into work to meet people.
Bit late now - he's 19 grin

serin Fri 19-Feb-16 21:07:55

YANBU...and they might only be inviting you out of politeness.

I like babies but unless it was the child of a family member or close friend, whom I would have some long term involvement with, I would probably struggle to coo over it appropriately.

TheTigerIsOut Fri 19-Feb-16 21:09:08

I think you are over reacting a bit. They are being corteous in trying to acknowledge your baby and make a fuss about it all, but there is no way on Earth they will be hurt or fail to understand if you say " there is a 3 hrs commute, and I am a bit uneasy at doing it with young baby but I really appreciate you want to see him, here are some photos".

Frankly, everytime people bring new babies to the office we coo and say the right things, but we wouldn't be bothered or offended if new mum decided not to show around at all.

OneTiredMama Fri 19-Feb-16 21:10:06

A 3hr trip with a four month old? My DS is the same age. He's a fairly contented baby and I still wouldn't dream of doing that!

YANBU. If colleagues want to see DS or you then maybe you could arrange a day they could visit you at home. That's what I did and it meant that only those I was close to in work called out and it didn't interfere with routine. They were more than happy to call out or go for coffee at a halfway point.

PutDownThatLaptop Fri 19-Feb-16 21:10:39

My DH tried to take our baby into work when she was first born. He was on paternity leave. For four whole days, he tried to do it. He tried to leave the house but it was always one more feed/nappy/sick/screaming fit/another feed/another nappy/wet through babygro until it was suddenly 4pm.

FlatOnTheHill Fri 19-Feb-16 21:16:33

YANBU Do what you want to do. Not what others want you to do.

Sophia1984 Fri 19-Feb-16 21:20:30

YANBU, but if you wanted to oblige them, isthere any way you could arrange to meet with the colleagues you actually know for lunch somewhere? Then you wouldn't have to feel like you were the entertainment in the office that day! Is there anything else you could do/anyone else you could visit close to where you work?

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