DP and I have been together for just under 2 years. We do not live together. I have 4dc 12 years to 4 years old. He has none. I have lived alone since before my youngest dd was born, so I am pretty independent.
I introduced dc to dp after 6 months and gradually increased the time they spent together. They all generally get on well. I have recently started a long term placement at university and dp has been helping out. Picking them up from the child minder and getting them ready for various activities before I get home. I am grateful for his help and tell him so.
DS (8) can be challenging. He is a delight at school, but at home he can be silly and defiant. I handle this by removing his iPad/Xbox or sending him to his room for any major misbehaviour. I do not want to play down his behaviour, it can be frustrating, but it usually results from tiredness. Dc get up at 6am on weekdays.
Here lies the problem. Dp thinks I am too soft on him. He says he ‘gets away with murder’ and needs proper consequences for his actions. Dp has shouted at him on occasion and I felt at the time that it was not his place to do so. He is a teacher so has the scary teacher voice and it scared me! He believes that a good smack did him no harm and that is what ds needs. I have explained my views on this several times and he knows that I will not hit my ds.
We had a day out yesterday that involved a long drive (around 3 hours). We stopped off at the services after an hour and ds said he did not need a wee. Of course, near to home he needed one. Dp said he needed to be taught a lesson, he should have listened before and it shows a lack of respect for both dp and myself. I said I am all for discipline, but making an 8 year old boy wet himself (in my car) to teach him a lesson is not going to happen.
We stopped. Ds had a wee. Dp had a rant about discipline. I said that it is primarily my responsibility if I am here, if I am not it is dp’s. but he needs to do it my way. Dp was not happy about this at all.
Am I too soft or is dp BU?
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112 replies
Privilegeismine · 19/02/2016 19:14
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MadamDeathstare ·
19/02/2016 19:38
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