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To say no to the Leprechaun Museum? Hen do related.

(55 Posts)
LemonySmithit Fri 19-Feb-16 14:42:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tulipblank Fri 19-Feb-16 14:43:27

Perfectly fine. I have on quite a few occasions opted out of certain activities because they're not my cup of tea.

Tulipblank Fri 19-Feb-16 14:43:52

On hen dos that is.

SweetAdeline Fri 19-Feb-16 14:47:43

It's a guided tour so I wouldn't say it's suitable for a hen do. It's not as bad as I thought it would be but its not that fun either.

horizontilting Fri 19-Feb-16 14:49:12

Very very close to the museum is Jervis Shopping Centre. It would be very easy to meet them in the shopping centre when they're done and hag out having coffee by yourself while they're in the museum itself. YANBU

GloGirl Fri 19-Feb-16 14:50:46

That sounds ghastly. Yanbu! Tell them you're looking forward to doing something inedibly boring they wouldn't want to, like go to an irish Mass or something.

SweetAdeline Fri 19-Feb-16 14:51:17

Go and have a long brunch and potter round the shops. The area around the Powerscourt shopping centre is nice to pass a bit of time. Avoca and Brown Thomas are round there too.

velourvoyageur Fri 19-Feb-16 14:58:44

Oh wow, I never have any trouble firmly saying "thanks but no thanks" to social stuff! I would probably pick about two activities off your list and explore Dublin on my own for the rest (been once and it's so lovely to wander round!) YA definitely NBU. Your sister should understand and who cares about the rest.
A leprechaun museum??? I would refuse purely on the grounds that even the thought makes me yawn....go to the cinema or Temple Bar for some nice quiet touristy alone-time. Or The Winding Stair Bookshop on the river, there's tea and coffee and nice books.

velourvoyageur Fri 19-Feb-16 15:00:43

to be honest, actually blush I would have no qualms about not going at all!
you'll be at the'll be there when you can both have a good time together....what's the point in going and spending so much if you're dreading it? There comes a point when you can just accept that that's who you are. If I were your sister I would totally get it. Does she want you to put on a brave face for the whole time?

BishopBrennansArse Fri 19-Feb-16 15:02:22

Been there. It's quite funny.
But if you don't want to go you don't want to go. Perfectly reasonable to say no.

Lottapianos Fri 19-Feb-16 15:03:42

You are not unreasonable at all OP. I would be horrified by this plan too! I went to my own sister's hen night in December - it was only 24 hours but I was stressed about it for weeks beforehand. I usually have a no-hen-nights policy but felt like I wanted to go to my sister's hen.

If you feel like you might be exhausted and in need of alone time, could you say that you have to fly back a day early? That's what I would do.

LemonySmithit Fri 19-Feb-16 15:04:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos Fri 19-Feb-16 15:04:35

Sorry, when I say fly back I'm assuming you're in the UK - you may not be! What I really mean is, could you go home a day early? Invent a reason if you need to.

RuggerHug Fri 19-Feb-16 15:05:44

Do they realise it doesn't have real leprechauns in it? Friend of mine used to work there and apparently this complaint happened far more than you would hopeshockgrin
But you're fine to give it a miss if you don't want to go. There's way more you can do yourself smile

theycallmemellojello Fri 19-Feb-16 15:07:02

Yanbu. I think it's lovely that you're gritting your teeth and going, but wanting a bit of quiet time on the last day is completely fine. I laughed at "maid of honourzilla" btw

diddl Fri 19-Feb-16 15:07:45


I think I would have backed out way before now, sister or not!

LemonySmithit Fri 19-Feb-16 15:08:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos Fri 19-Feb-16 15:10:41

'but it caused a tantrum. That'd why I'm so worried about saying no to this.'

Ah, she sounds a bit like my sister, who makes no allowances for my stuff (anxiety and depression) either. Boundaries Lemony, boundaries. Just because she's getting married doesn't make her Queen of the World. You're an adult and she doesn't get to order you around. Tantrums are usually best ignored.

Joining in with 2 out of 3 days of the hen weekend sounds very reasonable to me, especially as its likely you will find it stressful. You need to balance celebrating her news with taking good care of yourself too. Absolutely draw that line!

JessieMcJessie Fri 19-Feb-16 15:14:03

Oh dear God, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a frigging leprechaun museum! Sounds like a right load of tourist tripe. (Apologies to any leprechauns reading).

YANBU in the slightest to duck out of that one. Given that it comes at the end of a whole weekend of organised activity that you are bravely throwing yourself into (good for you for making the effort for your sister) it should be absolutely fine for you to make your excuses and do your own thing for a few hours. Presumably your sis knows about your ASD and will politely shut down anyone who makes any unkind comments about you not joining in?

The key is not to make it a huge deal. Just tell her and the MOH breezily now (at the planning stage) that it's not your cup of tea but there are a few bits and pieces you'd like to take the opportunity to look for in the shops, so you won't be joining them. I bet you end up not being the only one to give it a swerve.

I am generally thought of as being a very sociable person but I am only good at it if I get sufficient time to do my own thing as well.

HPsauciness Fri 19-Feb-16 15:18:18

Even for a super outgoing person this sounds like too much. I am no introvert, but honestly, after two days of tramping the streets/going out at night, you won't be the only one begging for a quiet day. Just say you might need some time to yourself by then and let them go alone, I bet half the hen party will be not so keen!

JessieMcJessie Fri 19-Feb-16 15:18:52

Sorry cross post. Your sister really needs to grow up. What on earth is her problem with you arriving on a different plane?

I hope this doesn't sound harsh but from what you said about caring for your Dad together I'm assuming he has since passed away? Usually families that have suffered bereavement like that are not the type to get all tearful over things as inconsequential as novelty museum visits, because they can see the world in its proper perspective. I'm sorry that she doesn't.

WeAllHaveWings Fri 19-Feb-16 15:19:19

My idea of a fun hen do in Dublin would be relaxing mornings (after the night before)/a bit of random site seeing around Dublin and Dublin bay/shopping/lunching/eating out/pub crawl/bit of dancing and just getting into the general atmosphere.

The touristy bits would bore me to death. Who gives a shit about the history of Guinness on a hen do (and I work for the company that owns them!)? I'd maybe do one touristy thing at a push.

YANBU to have a quiet word with your sister to ask if its okay for you to miss one or two of the organised tours and will meet up later. If she wont acknowledge your ASD and the challenges you have with it then tell her you either get some time to yourself or you don't go. As with toddlers, ignore any tantrums.

velourvoyageur Fri 19-Feb-16 15:20:03

You're an adult and she doesn't get to order you around

this is YOUR choice OP - you're an adult, this is one of the things you can absolutely choose to opt out of.

I'd say, you were also supporting her by supporting your father (unless she's your half sister or stg). And she is your sister, supporting you is what family does, no? You don't owe her a big favour for behaving like a nice, decent person. Anyway the best favour it seems you could do her would be to start training her out of being so manipulative - crying, seriously? That would make me more determined to stand my ground, to be honest. Silly OTT reaction.
Maybe if you're clear about this now, it'll be one more step on the way to her realising that ASD is real? You don't need to react to her silly prejudices you know. Since they have no basis in truth, why would you accommodate them? sorry to sound so bossy! but I feel bad that we always try so hard to please others at the risk of losing the ability to be assertive and please ourselves too. If you didn't go to the wedding, that might be a bit far, but the hen do, with all her friends? Be kind to yourself smile

I actually take a bit too much pleasure in feeling confident in saying 'no thanks' these days grin wish I'd had that at school

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 19-Feb-16 15:20:24

Surely it's Maidzilla of Honour grin. Don't go.

velourvoyageur Fri 19-Feb-16 15:20:29

but i do understand that all I'm saying is so much easier said than done....!

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