am i being paranoid

[marsia1998]

My bf and I both have friends of oposite sex and its never been a problem but a few months ago this other girl came on the scene, no one actually knew her except from him, he said she was a girl who stayed near him when they were kids and then she moved away and he met her a few months ago on a night out and decided to keep in touch.

I have met her a few times when she has came to nights out with us and our friends and she clearly does not like me, I made an effort with her to begin with but we just didn't get on so I tried to not be in her company.

He has lied about spending time with her and when I ask him about it he said its because I don't like her so he didn't want me giving him grief for seeing her. A few nights ago I found a packet of condoms with some missing that I know we didn't use, when I asked him he said he had used them while masterbating to save mess and he said that I'm paranoid. I have never ever not trusted him before but I think somethings going on with this girl but what if he's right and I am just paranoid

[icanteven]

I don't think you're being paranoid. I'm not sure any man has ever voluntarily masturbated with a condom, sorry.

[SweetieDrops]

The using condoms to masturbate sounds like bullshit to me, who does that? Add in the lying about seeing her and it doesn't sound like you are just being paranoid.

[ManneryTowers]

You aren't being paranoid. Sorry.

[Pseudo341]

You don't sound remotely paranoid to me. He's lying to you about seeing her, reason enough to ditch him IMO. I have never heard of any man wearing a condom to masterbate, why would he reduce sensation rather than just catch the mess in a tissue? I don't believe it for a second. I think he's having and affair, so sorry OP.

[Jibberjabberjooo]

You aren't being paranoid. He's trying to make this your fault by pushing the blame on to you. You don't like her. The condom thing is crap, he's shagging her.

[sweetheart]

Doesn't sound like you are being paranoid. How did you find out he lied about seeing her?

Tell him you don't hate her and you don't mind them seeing each other so long as he's honest about it - then if he lies again it's pretty obvious why I'd say.

[BillSykesDog]

No, he's cheating. How long have you been together? Do you have children, live together? I'd dump him purely not for coming clean when he had a chance.

[marsia1998]

We don't live together or have kids we have been together just over a year.

She tagged him in a picture on facebook when he told me he was at home and when I asked him about it he said he had went out with her but thought I would have been mad so he lied and said he was at home.

[BillSykesDog]

Just dump him. He's a twat, he's cheating and lying and doing it under your nose. Cut your losses, get out. He's not worth it.

[witsender]

There isn't enough invested in this relationship to make all this bullshit worthwhile. Walk away and tell him he is a cheating, lying arsehole.

[bumbleymummy]

I wouldn't believe the condom thing either.

[Katenka]

I would finish with him and tell him why.

He is cheating (imo) and gas lighting you by telling you it's all your head.

Thats really really twatish behaviour.

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Sure there was a very similar thread to this a while back...??

[acasualobserver]

+1 for not believing the condom/masturbation story.

[Robotgirl]

Sorry but he's full of shit...
Hope you're ok, OP

[LastOneDancing]

I had a couple of male friends that DH hated me seeing and would sulk. But I still told him when I was seeing them despite him being a PITA because to lie would mean I was doing something wrong that needed to be hidden. It was his problem not mine.

The condom story is bullshit IMO.

[Fairenuff]

If there is something that we know would upset our partner we don't do it. It's that simple.

He decided to do it and lie to you about it.

What more is there to think about. Tell him it's over because he lied to you about seeing her.

Whether he had sex with her or not is kind of beside the point. Without trust you have no relationship anyway and he's broken that trust by lying.

[londonrach]

Seriously did he really believe you believe him about the condoms. Making a water balloon is more believable. Hope you ok op

[VimFuego101]

I knew a few men who cheated on their partners. They were the only ones who ever used the 'condoms are cleaner' excuse. Nobody does that.

[amysmummy12345]

He's shagging someone that's for sure! Condom wanking my arse!

[HelsBels3000]

Get away quickly and leave them to their deceit - you deserve better OP

[mix56]

Sorry love, kick him to touch, he is cheating & lying.

[bolleauxnouveau]

You count your condoms? How anal efficient.

[ImperialBlether]

He's a liar and a cheat and he treats you as though you're stupid.

Tell him where to go.

[loraflora]

You're not being paranoid. From what you've said it's obvious he's cheating and instead of admitting when he's caught out he's trying to make you look bad. The condom excuse is ridiculous.