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am i being paranoid

(62 Posts)
marsia1998 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:08:43

My bf and I both have friends of oposite sex and its never been a problem but a few months ago this other girl came on the scene, no one actually knew her except from him, he said she was a girl who stayed near him when they were kids and then she moved away and he met her a few months ago on a night out and decided to keep in touch.

I have met her a few times when she has came to nights out with us and our friends and she clearly does not like me, I made an effort with her to begin with but we just didn't get on so I tried to not be in her company.

He has lied about spending time with her and when I ask him about it he said its because I don't like her so he didn't want me giving him grief for seeing her. A few nights ago I found a packet of condoms with some missing that I know we didn't use, when I asked him he said he had used them while masterbating to save mess and he said that I'm paranoid. I have never ever not trusted him before but I think somethings going on with this girl but what if he's right and I am just paranoid

icanteven Thu 18-Feb-16 14:11:17

I don't think you're being paranoid. I'm not sure any man has ever voluntarily masturbated with a condom, sorry.

SweetieDrops Thu 18-Feb-16 14:11:50

The using condoms to masturbate sounds like bullshit to me, who does that? Add in the lying about seeing her and it doesn't sound like you are just being paranoid.

ManneryTowers Thu 18-Feb-16 14:11:56

You aren't being paranoid. Sorry.

Pseudo341 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:13:40

You don't sound remotely paranoid to me. He's lying to you about seeing her, reason enough to ditch him IMO. I have never heard of any man wearing a condom to masterbate, why would he reduce sensation rather than just catch the mess in a tissue? I don't believe it for a second. I think he's having and affair, so sorry OP.

Jibberjabberjooo Thu 18-Feb-16 14:15:12

You aren't being paranoid. He's trying to make this your fault by pushing the blame on to you. You don't like her. The condom thing is crap, he's shagging her.

sweetheart Thu 18-Feb-16 14:15:50

Doesn't sound like you are being paranoid. How did you find out he lied about seeing her?

Tell him you don't hate her and you don't mind them seeing each other so long as he's honest about it - then if he lies again it's pretty obvious why I'd say.

BillSykesDog Thu 18-Feb-16 14:15:55

No, he's cheating. How long have you been together? Do you have children, live together? I'd dump him purely not for coming clean when he had a chance.

marsia1998 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:24:10

We don't live together or have kids we have been together just over a year.

She tagged him in a picture on facebook when he told me he was at home and when I asked him about it he said he had went out with her but thought I would have been mad so he lied and said he was at home.

BillSykesDog Thu 18-Feb-16 14:28:44

Just dump him. He's a twat, he's cheating and lying and doing it under your nose. Cut your losses, get out. He's not worth it.

witsender Thu 18-Feb-16 14:34:52

There isn't enough invested in this relationship to make all this bullshit worthwhile. Walk away and tell him he is a cheating, lying arsehole.

bumbleymummy Thu 18-Feb-16 14:35:33

I wouldn't believe the condom thing either.

Katenka Thu 18-Feb-16 14:39:58

I would finish with him and tell him why.

He is cheating (imo) and gas lighting you by telling you it's all your head.

Thats really really twatish behaviour.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 18-Feb-16 14:42:26

Sure there was a very similar thread to this a while back...??

acasualobserver Thu 18-Feb-16 14:46:27

+1 for not believing the condom/masturbation story.

Robotgirl Thu 18-Feb-16 14:48:39

Sorry but he's full of shit...
Hope you're ok, OP

LastOneDancing Thu 18-Feb-16 14:49:17

I had a couple of male friends that DH hated me seeing and would sulk. But I still told him when I was seeing them despite him being a PITA because to lie would mean I was doing something wrong that needed to be hidden. It was his problem not mine.

The condom story is bullshit IMO.

Fairenuff Thu 18-Feb-16 14:53:45

If there is something that we know would upset our partner we don't do it. It's that simple.

He decided to do it and lie to you about it.

What more is there to think about. Tell him it's over because he lied to you about seeing her.

Whether he had sex with her or not is kind of beside the point. Without trust you have no relationship anyway and he's broken that trust by lying.

londonrach Thu 18-Feb-16 14:54:17

Seriously did he really believe you believe him about the condoms. Making a water balloon is more believable. Hope you ok op flowers

VimFuego101 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:54:43

I knew a few men who cheated on their partners. They were the only ones who ever used the 'condoms are cleaner' excuse. Nobody does that.

amysmummy12345 Thu 18-Feb-16 14:58:30

He's shagging someone that's for sure! Condom wanking my arse!

HelsBels3000 Thu 18-Feb-16 15:04:58

Get away quickly and leave them to their deceit - you deserve better OP flowers

mix56 Thu 18-Feb-16 15:09:27

Sorry love, kick him to touch, he is cheating & lying.

bolleauxnouveau Thu 18-Feb-16 15:10:27

You count your condoms? How anal efficient.

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Feb-16 15:11:26

He's a liar and a cheat and he treats you as though you're stupid.

Tell him where to go.

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