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to be having a panic attack and feelings of helplessness

(16 Posts)
Allisgood1 Wed 17-Feb-16 23:11:00

I cannot be bothered to name change.

I'm a failure. I have severe Emetophobia (fear of sick).

Ds (17mo) has a chest infection. He's been on antibiotics since Sunday. He's been having coughing fits resulting in sick. I've been ok because I know it's from coughing.

But tonight he had a mild coughing attack and was sick in the car (a lot). We got home, I stripped him, entertained him, then gave him some crackers. He ate those fine and acting normal. Drinking juice. At bedtime (about 2 hours later) I gave him his antibiotics and he was sick while I was giving him them. Then again. And again. Not a great deal but definitely the meds and juice. We came upstairs and he was sick twice but only mucus and not a lot.

I escaped. I called DH to come home from work and I left. I'm having chest pains. I can't cope. I feel helpless. I am a poor mother and a poor wife. I'm back home, DS is sleeping and I'm in the guest room having chest pains. I've taken two anti anxiety meds. I'm scared he has a stomach bug. Does he have a stomach bug? Google says its mucus drainage but my mind is racing. I don't want to be here. This life is too hard.

BrianBettyGrable Wed 17-Feb-16 23:16:21

It is so hard. I also suffer from this and really really struggle to deal with anyone in the house being ill.
But you are not a poor wife or a poor mother. You cared for your child despite it being incredibly difficult. You did cope. You will manage whatever happens.
I really hope your DS is over his chest infection soon. Keep going.

TheBouquets Wed 17-Feb-16 23:19:19

I think it is most likely the gunk from the chest infection coming out. I would wonder if that is how the anti B is working. It is always worrying when a child is ill and sick especially one too young to tell you reliably how he is feeling. I worry about sick and diarrhea but you don't need to know my worries you worry just as much as me by the sound of it.
If DH is at home and dealing with baby you take the chance of the rest and consciously try to relax or maybe have a bath. Or any other treat you fancy. In a day or two baby will be back to normal and running you ragged. I hope he is better very soon.

NoCapes Wed 17-Feb-16 23:20:51


You've done amazing, you dealt with a lot of sick all by yourself. You are absolutely not a poor mother.

It's not a stomach bug, my DS has recurring chest infections amongst other things and sick is normal. It's mucus and phlegm and just bile from all the wretching that comes with coughing.
He'll be fine, it will pass.

Deep breaths. Drink some water. Focus on your surroundings. And breathe

You'll be fine flowers

Allisgood1 Wed 17-Feb-16 23:29:48

Thank you thanks

nocapes is it normal for him to have been sick without the coughing? The first two were coughing related (but not the fits he's been having), the others were gagging and heaving and vomiting a small amount of mucus. Why is this happening now on day 3 of the antibiotics? Are you positive it's not a stomach bug? How would I know? Why am I panicking?? Chest pains starting all over.

NoCapes Wed 17-Feb-16 23:35:35

Yes IME that's normal too, he's just shifting a bit of thick mucus, it's good it means the infections clearing and he's getting rid of all the nasty stuff that's built up and he's clearing his airways again
It's gross I know but it's normal

If it was a stomach bug it'd be proper sick sick, if it's mucussy/phlegmy then it is almost definitely down to the chest infection

Breathe again
In through the nose out through the mouth
You're fine
DS is fine
DH is there if you need him
Just keep breathing, choose something to focus on in the room you're in, have some water
He'll be ok

AreBags Thu 18-Feb-16 01:08:20

You're not a poor anything. You will be okay and in three months you will only remember tonight as a memory, not as all of these feelings. Message me if you need to but try to sleep in the spare room

Allisgood1 Thu 18-Feb-16 08:45:45

He wasn't sick in the night. He's awake and had some juice. Was a little sick but there was definitely thick green phlegm. Now he's just laying on me :-( No fever.

BillSykesDog Thu 18-Feb-16 08:52:02

Have you discussed this with your doctor? I'm thinking that perhaps you might be able to have some short term low dose medication to help while he is poorly?

Allisgood1 Thu 18-Feb-16 08:59:50

I can't talk to the dr. We are emigrating and it will screw our chances. I have some old medication I've started but it takes antidepressants so long to get in your system. I also have alprazolam which I took last night. I feel like a complete failure.

He's now asleep on me. I don't know how I am going to get through the day. DH is out all day and I'm so scared. I hate this.

ScarlettDarling Thu 18-Feb-16 15:58:39

Hi op how are you doing? How is your son? When my ds was little, any cough or cold always resulted in him being sick. It was always mucusy stuff, not 'real' vomit. I'm sure he will be fine soon.

Stop feeling like a failure. You aren't. Despite your panic and your phobia, you are taking care of your son and doing what needs to be done. That's not failing, that's being a good mum.

Sometimes we all get scared. I'm not emetophobic but I always have panicked whenever my dc are ill. I find it hard to keep things in perspective and always get that doom and gloom feeling. But, do you know what? It always passes. Always. In a couple of days your ds will be lots better and you will much more in control again.

Good luck. flowers

Warmworm Thu 18-Feb-16 16:08:19

Well done. My dd suffers from emetophobia so I can imagine how hard it was for you cope when you were with a vomiting child. But you did! Don't be hard on yourself.

Good advice from Scarlett - the panic feeling always, always passes. Keep reminding yourself of that.

Allisgood1 Thu 18-Feb-16 17:35:51

Thank you Scarlet and Worm.

I took ds to the dr (I tried getting just a phone appt but they insisted he come in), as when I went to give him his antibiotics he tasted it and gagged (he's my third, I should have known what to do but panicked). In short, they said he was on an adults dose of amoxicillin and to stop it since he's developed an aversion. Dr was great, he said that ds is having an "asthmatic response" to colds since he had bronchiolitis during his first winter. This means the response he's having (being sick) is totally normal. Despite this good news I still have this ache in my chest that won't go. I'm taking meds and just hope hope hoping they kick in ASAP. I hate this feeling of doom and helplessness.

Allisgood1 Sat 20-Feb-16 10:28:58

Dd1 was sick three times in the night. I'm scared. I cannot move. I'm in bed with chest pains. Help

ScarlettDarling Sat 20-Feb-16 10:46:19

She was sick but you coped with it. You are all still here. The panic can't hurt you, it passes.

Was dd sick with phlegm like your son or proper tummy bug sick? Is Dh around to help?

Allisgood1 Sat 20-Feb-16 10:49:34

It was proper sick. DH has the two children downstairs. DD is in our room watching her iPad. I didn't deal with it. I was told about it this morning.

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