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to feel a little ambushed/tricked by this

(18 Posts)
kiki22 Wed 17-Feb-16 16:58:24

So with a group of mums at the sort play today I don't really know I was only there to meet with 1 of them but ended up a group all fine with that, I'm not a shy person so happy to chat every thing went fine until I of them asked if I want a boy or girl (I am pg now) I said I'm not that fussed quite like having a boy though, she then said so u want a boy? So I replied again I'm not that bothered she kept pushing asking if I had to decide what would I pick? So I said well I guess a boy.

She then started asking why I want a boy, told her I don't have a specific reason but I have a boy I like having a boy and we have all boy stuff so it would be more practical. She then goes on a rant about designer babies and people wanting things there way it shouldn't matter the sex.

Due to my raging hormones at the moment I decided to keep my mouth shut and went to find ds, but now I'm home I'm sort of feeling like she pushed me into this convo so she could make a point. I wont bother saying anything to her infact I plan to avoid her from now on but would like to know if I'm being sensitive or was she using me to take the stage? Everyone was doing that shifting uncomfortably but not saying much.

StealthPolarBear Wed 17-Feb-16 17:02:06

She has a bee in her bonnet and wanted to get it out and buzz it!

OurBlanche Wed 17-Feb-16 17:03:11

So, everyone else was obviously uncomfortable? Then next time say something, they'll probably love you.

She sounds a bit obssessed, so, if you can't be arsed, just side step her, or have fun and only answer her questions with a question, even a silly one:

Her: Do you want a boy or a girl?
You: Oh, do you think I could get one that sleeps/curtsies/turns into Billy Elliot?

abbsismyhero Wed 17-Feb-16 17:23:54

if you had to decide what would you pick? a baby! and repeat!

i had a pushy sod ask me with dc3 you want a girl don't you one of each? really leading questions i said im not bothered oh come oooooonnnnn you must have a preference no i really don't she slated me behind my back for "wanting a girl" till someone pointed out this is my third child and i already HAD one of each she doesn't speak to me anymore its no great loss

JessTitchener Wed 17-Feb-16 17:44:28

When I was pregnant with DD3 I wasn't bothered whatsoever whether I was having a boy or girl.
Could I convince anyone of this?
Nope. Not one person accepted that I didn't care.
People straight out refused to believe that we weren't trying for a boy.
I just wanted another baby. DD2 however wanted a bunny so I suppose she was disappointed.

boredofusername Wed 17-Feb-16 17:52:09

DD2 however wanted a bunny so I suppose she was disappointed

LOL! Wouldn't it have been easier to get a bunny smile

choccyp1g Wed 17-Feb-16 17:57:08

When people ask intrusive questions there are two ways to reply.
1. " A lot of people have asked me that and I always tell them to mind their own business "
2. " You must have a reason for asking that, would you mind telling me all about it?"

MatildaTheCat Wed 17-Feb-16 18:04:51

Cheeky mare. Nothing more annoying than thinking up good replies after the moment has passed. However, "I've said I don't mind. What is it you don't understand about that?"

MadamDeathstare Wed 17-Feb-16 18:20:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dodobookends Wed 17-Feb-16 18:23:55

Some people just like to force you into a corner where you have to choose one thing or another - they only do it so they can take the opposite view and disagree with you. It's infuriating isn't it?

JessTitchener Wed 17-Feb-16 18:31:59

In hindsight a bunny would have been much easier. And cheaper!

Goingtobeawesome Wed 17-Feb-16 18:36:22

A neighbour was beyond put out when I told her I was having another baby.

Didn't I know I wasn't allowed as I already had a boy and a girl...

TickettyBoo Wed 17-Feb-16 18:41:46

Ugh she sounds tedious, angry for you!! Next time she gives you a chance cut her short and walk away, what a moose.

Flugelpip Wed 17-Feb-16 18:49:09

I'm a big fan of saying, 'What a strange question' and then not replying any further. Usually it embarrasses them into backing off.

Youarentkiddingme Wed 17-Feb-16 18:52:42

I find with people like this to go on the over exaggerated side they want you on.

So to have continued with "oh yes you are soooooo right. How did you guess I'd only be happy with a boy. How will I ever get over it being a girl? What will I do? Is there councelling for this sort of thing?"

Then smile sweetly and knowingly at the uncomfortable audience, goggle and find them all snorting into their coffees along side of you.

Yes - my group of friends had one of these. She doesn't want to to meet up with us any more grin

kiki22 Wed 17-Feb-16 18:58:02

I fixed her with my best resting bitch face then left my hormones have started a couple of diva like tantrums didn't trust myself to say anything I'm not usually diva like.

AmyLouKin Wed 17-Feb-16 19:00:08

OP, I am preg with my first baby. I also really don't care what sex it is. Most people have accepted that I don't really mind a boy or girl, although they still like to guess what it will be and give their opinions based on bump shape etc! I would be shocked if someone reacted to me like that and if it were me would just have repeated myself until she shut up! She would have got bored eventually! It's very unfair to be that pushy with you! Very self centred of her too!

LittleBeautyBelle Wed 17-Feb-16 19:53:41

How annoying! She did ambush you because she was looking to get up on her soapbox and used you to do it. "It's none of your business." I also like pp, "What a strange question." However she's already done it, so have something ready to say in case you have to be around her again. "Oh it's you again. I remember last time we met you kept hounding me to choose what baby I'd like so that you could get on your soapbox. I hope you mind your own business this time." Awful woman!

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