To wish my DM would stop trying to micromanage my housekeeping?

(30 Posts)
QuickSticks Wed 17-Feb-16 16:45:55

Every time DM visits she'll point out things that need replacing, that actually don't yet need replacing, ie: she'll go to the loo and say there's only half a bottle of liquid soap left, or there's only 1 more spare loo roll in there. If she's helped load the dishwasher she'll say there's only 15 dishwasher tablets left. Rightyo, so enough for another 15 washes then DM?

I'm finding myself going round the house everytime I know she's going to visit making sure there are piles of spare loos rolls in the loo, the soap bottle is re-filled to the brim, etc. It's driving me bat-shit-crazy!

Does anyone else get micro-managed?

Heatherplant Wed 17-Feb-16 16:49:03

Honestly? Just ignore it or point her in the direction of the shop, particularly if it's raining.

PenelopeChipShop Wed 17-Feb-16 17:08:59

Omg I would honestly laugh. And point out all the way more important things cluttering up my brain!

bibbitybobbityyhat Wed 17-Feb-16 17:12:33

Say "Oh thank heavens you're here mother! Without your helpful observations we might run out! What would I do if we ever moved a couple of hundred miles away and had to stand on our own two feet?"

caravanista Wed 17-Feb-16 17:17:30

I'm notorious in my family for always having spares of everything - I'm with your DM!

Skiptonlass Wed 17-Feb-16 17:22:41

'Great! We also need milk and we're out of bread. ' and direct to shops.

Pippidoeswhatshewants Wed 17-Feb-16 17:24:20

"Why don't you put it on my shopping list, thanks!"

StealthPolarBear Wed 17-Feb-16 17:25:10

Do you have small children? Is there an option of a hearty "GOOD counting granny!" and a round of applause?

Make a stocksheet up and ask her to do a full stock take whilst she is at it.

Tinned Goods
Tuna - 3 tins
Beans (Baked) - 1 tin
Beans (Red Kidney) - 1 tin
etc.

I could keep her amused for hours wink

It not I

QuickSticks Wed 17-Feb-16 17:40:56

But that's the funny thing caravanista I honestly do have spares! If I had 50 toilet rolls in loo she'd say "you've only got 50 toilet rolls left QuickSticks". I do mostly silently chuckle to myself.

QuickSticks Wed 17-Feb-16 17:43:16

Oooh, a stock take Chaz grin

ImperialBlether Wed 17-Feb-16 17:43:46

I agree with the inventory. First ask her to set up a list of every consumable in the house, preferably using a spreadsheet. Then invite her round once a week and ask her to do a stock check, letting you know what you should buy in a week, a month and a year. She should check all best before dates, too. That should keep her busy!

Owllady Wed 17-Feb-16 17:45:21

My mum is exactly the same
I've actually spoken to her about it, as it was driving me mad (and she lives miles and miles away) she said it was because it gave her anxiety as when we were little she had to plan ahead as she was so poor, and struggled so much. She apologised but really she didn't need to after telling me that. We're not well off by any stretch of the imagination but it's been a ling time since I haven't been able to just pop to the shops for a toilet roll.

QuickSticks Wed 17-Feb-16 17:45:59

She'd be ruthless with the best before dates. She told me today she threw out hand cream because it was out of date. HANDCREAM!!!!!!

SmallGreenBouncyBall Wed 17-Feb-16 17:46:47

my parents do that as well.
I'm just their little baby who still needs hand holding when crossing the road

BreakfastAtStephanies Wed 17-Feb-16 18:39:05

My DM does not micro-manage my housekeeping; however she would like to micro-manage my calendar.

I used to have a paper calendar on a notice board in the kitchen. DM would stand in front of it blatantly reading it and then commenting on all our forthcoming events, appointments, work rota and so on. It used to feel mildly intrusive and annoyed me.

Eventually I got a new phone, immediately swapped everything from the paper calendar onto the phone calendar and set up alerts for everything. Binned the paper calendar 2 years ago.

DM still stares wistfully at the notice board sometimes, ( especially if we are arranging an outing ) which just has recipes on it now. I said once " it's never coming back, Mum ". I know she wants it back.

She doesn't care whether we run out of toilet roll, though.

StrawberryQuik Wed 17-Feb-16 18:45:59

DM criticised my cooking via FaceTime the other day grin
- she wasn't even in the house!

She told me I had put baked beans in the microwave for too long and I dutifully went and put the time down by 30 seconds blush

TremoloGreen Wed 17-Feb-16 19:17:04

DM and DMIL do this! They both have massive houses to themselves and DF/DFIL so loads of storage and they keep massive stocks of everything. They both absolutely panic if they see there are only 3 loo rolls left or only half aassive box of tea bags. It's not like either of them has ever struggled for money or luved further than 10 min away from a supermarket so really can't understand it!

annielouisa Wed 17-Feb-16 19:35:51

I wondered if they had ever been on a tight budget but you say no. My DH and I were both single parents at one time and really struggled so now we do have things well stocked and only 1 toilet roll (especially with DS1 ) would have us both hyperventilating!!

seasidesally Wed 17-Feb-16 20:16:45

yes there is some sense in why people stockpile

years ago my then DH used to have a very seasonal job so would be out of work for 3 months of they year (jan,feb,march) so i use to stockpile all year round to get us through the 3months out of work

im still the same now and am a running joke with my friends

eg-went to Asda today and they ha reduced persil powder tablets (40 in box) to £1.10 so i bought 4 boxes as well as shopping,got home dropped shopping in and then went back down to Asda and bought another 6 box's and other big reduced items,20 bin bags 15p etc

i was in heaven and with what i already had before i have enough persil/ariel for the next 18 +mths

im Bipolar and part of that is my addictive personality

tibbawyrots Wed 17-Feb-16 20:23:05

blimey that's cheap for persil - I'm going to text my DH who is currently in Asda and tell him to have a look. smile

seasidesally Wed 17-Feb-16 20:34:08

i know,they do it every Springtime,think its for new packaging an they are doing it on loads of things,it was on biological,coloured but not non bio

some Asda's own tablets were 60p for 38 tabs
The funky fish company 2 generous fish fillets with a sauce (freezer) £1 instead of £4

you have to really look but ive been doing it so long is natural to me to scan the shelves uickly

StitchesInTime Wed 17-Feb-16 20:39:57

My mum is terrible for this sort of thing. Also rearranging our stuff so it's sorted in the way mum would do it in her house. And cleaning things even when I tell her not to.

I know it sounds trivial, but it gets really annoying over time. And it's difficult to complain about it without sounding really, really, ungrateful.

Aspergallus Wed 17-Feb-16 20:41:58

Hah! This micromanagement drives me nuts. My otherwise well meaning MIL does this constantly. Argh.

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