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my dad, type 2 diabetes and only eats things that "taste nice" ?

(79 Posts)
Arfarfanarf Wed 17-Feb-16 12:40:17

It may be that I am being unreasonable and intolerant (there's a huge backstory, massive history and all that so I am willing to accept the third party objective view on this issue)

My dad has type 2 diabetes. When he is at my house he has sometimes told me that he is unwell and needs something to eat. (this is for visits not at mealtimes, obv if they are here then, we eat together)

But when I offer him toast, he won't eat it because it isn't white bread. He will only eat lurpak butter. He won't have this brand, only that brand, he won't have orange juice, he won't have anything unless it "tastes nice"

I think that if you are shaking and saying that you are unwell because of your diabetes and you need to eat something, you can drink a glass of orange juice or choke down a slice of bread that isn't your preferred brand rather than drive off after claiming * you can hardly walk and hardly see and because your daughter happens to only have seeded bread in the house.

* I say claiming because I suspect he pretends he is having symptoms (not pretends to have the condition just claims attacks at times when they are not happening) - again, long and boring backstory and I'd really rather he just said he's had enough and wants to leave now.

They're coming here today and I've gone out and bought some white bread, made a ham sandwich and put it in the fridge and bought a packet of jelly beans. We've got jam (he will only eat bramble jelly) I don't know much about diabetes but that ought to be ok, right?

It's just the whole I won't eat anything that doesn't taste nice, ever, not even if I am claiming hypoglycaemia.

I realise it can make people unreasonable when their blood sugar is low but this is a constant for my whole life. Nothing expect that which tastes nice passes his lips.

so here is my aibu. Finally. Feel free to make comments about how long my op is and how you aren't prepared to read it all grin

AIBU to think that in an emergency - you eat what you have to?

fourquenelles Wed 17-Feb-16 12:45:04

Fuck yes! My late DH (the world's worst diabetic) used to carry packets of sugar around with him to tip straight into his mouth when his sugar levels dropped. He would be grateful for anything including very sweet tea and he normally hated tea. Your dad is strange at est, dangerous to himself and others at worst.

fourquenelles Wed 17-Feb-16 12:45:39

Fuck yes to eat anything btw. Fuck NO to you BU.

MatildaTheCat Wed 17-Feb-16 12:51:42

Most type 2 diabetics struggle to keep their blood sugar from being high rather than low. Suggest he sees his nurse to check his levels and meds. I suspect you are right and he's having you on.

Are the visits too long and he can't think of an excuse to leave? Maybe tells him it's fine to leave when he wants and you don't want him to risk falling ill at the steering wheel ( as he could lose his driving license).

Sandsnake Wed 17-Feb-16 12:52:56

YANBU - he should eat anything if having a hypo. My DH is type one and will drink heavily concentrated squash, which is horrible but very sweet. In fact before I've offered him 'nice' food when his blood sugar is low, which he has rejected as he doesn't want to 'waste' it on a hypo.

And flowers for you fourquenelles - really sorry about your DH.

ceebie Wed 17-Feb-16 12:56:00

I thought type 2 diabetes required keeping sugar levels low, not raising them?

fourquenelles Wed 17-Feb-16 12:57:01

Thanks Sandsnake smile

Arfarfanarf Wed 17-Feb-16 12:59:00

That's honestly what I suspect matilda. I don't know why he would feel he can't just say he wants to go. I do when I'm at their house. He ought to know by now that honesty does not offend me. I suspect it might be more to do with my mother than me (more huge backstory grin ) He lasts about an hour or up to two before starting this.

I wonder if then I should not proffer the sandwich and sweets if it really is likely he is using it as an 'out' am I not just blocking that?

I wish people would just be direct. So much simpler. Then you're not left trying to analyse everything.

eleven59 Wed 17-Feb-16 13:00:16

Isn't type 2 caused by bad eating habits in the firstplace??

Arfarfanarf Wed 17-Feb-16 13:01:18

I don't know ceebie, I don't really know much about it, only what he tells me he is feeling and what he needs. When I googled what to give someone who has low blood sugar it gave me a list.

Thanks four, just plain sugar is fine? I am sorry about your husband.

Youremywifenow Wed 17-Feb-16 13:24:14

The most important thing is that he tests to see if his blood sugar is low rather than high. When mine it too high I can feel it - dizzy, hands start to swell up, feel very 'wrong'. It does feel like you need something to eat as you feel light headed but the opposite is true, you need to exercise.
If his blood sugar is over 10 it's too high he needs to walk it off until it goes down, if it's below 4, he needs sugar.
I have gestational diabetes so temporary but I've never had a reading which is too low, it's much more likely to be too high.

scarednoob Wed 17-Feb-16 13:32:16

I thought this only applied to type 1?

Type 2 is more about keeping it down - which is mostly done by avoiding things like white bread and sugary jam! Either he is exaggerating because he is hungry/greedy, or his sugar levels are usually so high that when they drop to a more normal level, he thinks that he is having a hypo...

You could prove it to him by buying a blood glucose monitor and getting him to check it. I suspect you'd find it's far from low. And if he is just hungry, he should snack on the ham or cheese without the white bread.

But of course this won't help one iota with the complicated background issues sad

trinity0097 Wed 17-Feb-16 13:35:18

If he has type two I suggest a Lchf diet - I reversed my t2 in this way. Sat here tucking into sausage, eggs, bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms and onions at a local cafe - all cooked in lots of fat.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan Wed 17-Feb-16 13:50:05

I am not a doctor so this is only my experience of having a dad with Type 2 diabetes.
Type 2 diabetics don't get hypos (low blood sugar) AFAIK unless they are on insulin. My dad started taking insulin about 20 years ago, and he definitely gets low blood sugar if he doesn't eat enough to match the amount of insulin he has injected. Also, and this may be relevant in your dad's case, when he has low blood sugar he is very irritable and often unreasonable. He does however carry liquid glucose with him which he can take to raise his blood sugar.

I do sometimes think my dad uses the excuse of "feeling low" as an excuse to nibble on something.

If your dad is taking insulin then ge should be checking his blood sugar regularly and getting medical advice about adjusting his insulin.

If he isn't taking insulin then it's extremely unlikely he is getting low blood sugar but might well be too high. He should really seek medical advice though.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 17-Feb-16 13:53:42

Agree he definitely needs to see whichever HCP is managing his diabetes. Is he on insulin?

My 11 year old is type one and we don't go anywhere without fast acting glucose and post hypo snacks.

I don't know much about type 2 but if he was managing his diabetes well then I would have though he would always have hypo stuff with him if he is indeed getting hypos.

QueenOfToast Wed 17-Feb-16 14:15:25

I think it is your dad who is BU. Unless he is taking medication for his diabetes, he will not be getting blood sugar lows and does not need snacks. In addition, a ham sandwich is a meal, not a snack!

Here is some guidance from the website.
What sort of snacks do I need to eat?
It usually isn't necessary to eat snacks between meals if you aren't taking any medication for your Type 2 diabetes. If you treat your diabetes with certain medications that put you at risk of hypos (low blood glucose), you may need to snack. However, if your medications are making you snack regularly to prevent hypos, speak to your healthcare team. Regular snacks can make it difficult to maintain a healthy weight, and this can affect your diabetes management in the long term. If you do get peckish between meals, the healthiest snack choice is definitely a piece of fruit, rice cakes or a fat-free yogurt. The key is to plan, and watch your portions.
I think that if he is using his need for snacks as an excuse to leave, then it is just his (weird) way of saying he's had enough and he's off home!

MrsBobDylan Wed 17-Feb-16 14:40:25

Yanbu-your Dad should test his blood glucose with a meter, confirm if he is hypo (under 4 mmls) then eat 1-2 glucose tablets which you can buy in the supermarket/pharmacy.

He shouldn't be wasting your time wittering on indulgently about bramble jam and bloody lurpack. Sorry, he sounds so irritating op.

Marynary Wed 17-Feb-16 15:08:35

What medication is he taking? People with type 2 diabetes taking insulin and sometimes those on oral drugs (sulfonylureas) sometimes experience hyopglycaemia but it shouldn't be happening frequently. He needs to see a doctor about it as perhaps his medication needs changing
If he isn't taking insulin or a sulfonylurea, I'm a bit sceptical that he frequently gets hypoglycaemia particularly as he is fussy about what he eats. I suspect that he just wants to eat jelly beans etc and it really isn't going to do him any good.

GingerLDN Wed 17-Feb-16 15:17:18

I was just going to say the same as Marynary

Chococroc Wed 17-Feb-16 15:28:26

Presumably he is on medication if he is having hypos? More common to have hypos on insulin but it is possible on tablets such as metformin. Is he testing his blood to confirm he is hypo rather than hyper, in some people the symptoms can be pretty similar.
Assuming he is having hypos orange juice is one of the best first options to treat it. The seeded bread isn't a great option for a hypo (a better choice as a general thing though) as you really need something quick acting. Jelly babies or glucose tablets would also be good first stage treatments for a hypo. Sounds like he could benefit from a refresher on managing his condition, or I could just be he is being difficult of course!

Chococroc Wed 17-Feb-16 15:30:01

Meant to add, the driving off thing is worrying, if he is driving while hypo he is putting himself and others in danger. The DVLA states that you shouldn't drive for at least 45 minutes after coming out of a hypo and he would most likely lose his license if caught.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 17-Feb-16 15:45:59

We were told orange juice wasn't good as a fast acting glucose - jelly babies, glucose tablets, Lucozade or coke all more effective. But then follow it up with a post-hypo snack - my DC has something with about 15g carbs in it but he is 11 and I'm not sure what the guidance is for an adult.

Marynary Wed 17-Feb-16 15:56:59

Chococroc It is rare for metformin to cause hypoglycaemia. If he is experiencing hypoglycaemia it he is probably on insulin or a sulfonylurea.

Arfarfanarf Wed 17-Feb-16 18:38:12

Thanks everyone. I think from what you are saying that it is more likely than not that he is using it as an 'out' . Sad I suppose, but not surprising. Never mind.

He does not as far as I know take insulin. He has tablets. I think metformin.

He has form for it tbh. When we lived far away they would come to visit and miraculously always have a 'bank appointment' that they had to get back for. I've seriously never known people have so many meetings with the bank manager. I started to think they were a thruple or something grin

Saddest part of all is I actually don't much care. I suppose they reap what they sow really.

Never forget the day they cancelled coming to see us as dad apparently had 'groin strain' and was in agony.

I rushed over there to try to help them and watched him walk down from the shop with a bag of coal slung over his shoulder. I think that's the last day I gave a crap.

Anyway. Never mind. I can at least be assured that he is unlikely to be a or in danger. The rest of it they can just crack on as they like. It is what it is.

LidikaLikes Wed 17-Feb-16 20:23:25

OP, your dad sounds just like my FIL.

You have my sympathy.

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