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Forgetting to wave to daughter at nursery

(31 Posts)
Lolly12 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:33:47

AIBU to be racked with guilt this morning because I forgot to wave to my dd after dropping her at nursery?

She is nearly 3, and often wants to wave out of the nursery window when I've left her. This morning I got distracted chatting to other staff coming out, so got straight into car and left for work, then remembered 5 minutes later.... I feel terrible, this is the 2nd time I've done it.

Am I a terrible mother? Will the nursery staff think I really don't give a shit about dd? Or am I just being ridiculous about the whole thing?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 17-Feb-16 10:37:23

You are being ever so slightly ridiculous smile.

You're not a terrible Mother.

ouryve Wed 17-Feb-16 10:38:51

You did a very bad thing and you'll need to pay for her therapy in 20 years time.

CooPie10 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:39:55

Yes she'll be scarred for life.

Thornrose Wed 17-Feb-16 10:40:30

Over....thinking! grin

AntiquityReRises Wed 17-Feb-16 10:44:16

I still remember when my mum didn't wave to me in nursery even though I went to all the windows she just walked right on SOB Couldn't tell you if she ever did it again though! As this is the second time then she and the staff are already used to you being a terrible mother wink

Seriously, it's fine!

Lolly12 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:48:04

Ok thank you! I wish I had a magic potion to stop me over thinking every, bloody, thing.

CityFox Wed 17-Feb-16 10:48:39

Give her a massive cuddle when you collect her and say I'm so sorry I forgotgrin

sunnyawry Wed 17-Feb-16 10:52:22

I have done this and I actually went back 30 mins later! (Pregnant and hormonal)
He had been fine apparently. It did confuse him that I wasn't then picking him up on my return blush

Pippa12 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:53:15

You are definately over thinking... However, I'd be exactly the same, racked with guilt and nausea all day! I'd end up ringing nursery to ask, im a pillock I know! My own worst enemy for sure!!! flowers

Lolly12 Wed 17-Feb-16 11:00:50

Oh good, I'm glad I'm not alone! I also thought about going back, and about ringing the nursery....

merseyside Wed 17-Feb-16 11:01:52

haha I'd feel like shit too!!

But yes, it's an overreaction smile

LaContessaDiPlump Wed 17-Feb-16 11:02:57

In the nicest possible way, you are being crazy. She's fine. The nursery staff won't have noticed. Don't worry.

Have some brew

CottonFrock Wed 17-Feb-16 11:04:14

Calm down, you madwoman. It's nice that you have this little routine, but it's not strictly compulsory every day!

WorraLiberty Wed 17-Feb-16 11:04:20

When my kids were in Infant school, I used to actually avoid walking past the school at playtime, on my way to/from the supermarket.

It added an extra 10 minutes to my journey and with heavy shopping bags, but I just couldn't bear the thought of them desperately waving to me, and me not be able to spot them and wave back blush

In reality, they were probably too busy playing to give a mouse sized shite.

Peyia Wed 17-Feb-16 11:11:05

Ahaha. Yes I'm a little irrational too, good to know there are a few of us. My little girl now knows how to play me and tells me about her nursery woes by saying 'so and so pushed me, and then I was sad' whilst looking at the floor, one cheek on collarbone, lip on floor. I then give her a treat but am realising the pattern blush

Touch wood I haven't forgotten my baby. The guilt those people must feel....

VocationalGoat Wed 17-Feb-16 11:11:30

It's a bit if OCD/anxiety kicking in OP. flowers
She'll be absolutely fine and is probably making glitter play doh goo balls that will crumble into the carpets when she gets home.
She's not thinking about the wave.
God knows I get you though... I used to go back and peer through the window until I got 'the wave'. It was more about my anxiety than hers for sure. The nursery teacher couldn't wait to see the back of me and didn't return the following year probably due to my stalker antics was ever so patient.wink

IguanaTail Wed 17-Feb-16 11:18:28

Don't apologise for not waving or she will start thinking it's a terrible thing to forget and it will make the whole thing more serious!

Aramynta Wed 17-Feb-16 11:23:16

OP thanks

I feel you. Whenever I have to rush off in the morning after shoving reluctant DS through the school doors to the teacher I sit on the bus feeling awful, imagining him dramatically sprawled on the floor weeping about his awful mother.

In reality he is chewing the ears off his teacher, giving her a blow by blow account of his activities since she last saw him blush

BeeppityBeep Wed 17-Feb-16 11:29:28

Is this a PFB? grin

I wouldn't say anything to her about you forgetting otherwise it will become a thing - she might not be bothered.

OhMrBadger Wed 17-Feb-16 11:42:49

I can still remember the blood-pressure popping stress I felt when I was late picking up DS1 from nursery once. By late, I mean maybe 30mins later than usual. I pounded down the pavements, slaloming through the infuriatingly slow pedestrians, sweat spouting from my every pore. I crashed through the nursery door full of remorse and apologies, child therapist on speed-dial...

...DS1 was nowhere to be seen. Oh my God! He's sobbing his heart out in the manager's office, thought I!

Nope. He was sat on the toilet swinging his legs and shouting, "hello mummy! I'm doing a poooooo!"

colacoka Wed 17-Feb-16 11:48:07

DP went out to work in a rush the other day and forgot to say bye to DS (16 months) - he said he nearly cried when he realised he felt so bad! DS was fine blush I'm sure your DD is too smile

So probably a little bit unreasonable but sweet!

Lolly12 Wed 17-Feb-16 12:01:06

Okay thank you, you are making me feel less guilty.

I should know better as she's not a PFB grin In fact I probably did the same with my DS. I'll always find something to beat myself up over!

zipzap Wed 17-Feb-16 12:02:11

When ds1 was at nursery one of the girls started to lift him up to the window to wave goodbye to me when he started in a different room. I sometimes waved back, sometimes not, depended on if I'd noticed him or not (I wasn't used to looking to wave, in my defence! I always reckoned on saying goodbye when I was going out of the room rather than driving off).

I hadn't realised that it had become a 'thing' until a few weeks later when I'd popped into the manager's office to sort some stuff out and have a chat as she was a friend from pre-nursery days and show off my new baby only for ds1's key worker to pop in and ask if I could go because ds wouldn't sit down to join in until he'd waved goodbye to us.

I'd said don't be ridiculous, he's never needed to wave goodbye to me before, I've said goodbye to him at the door... but it turns out in those few weeks the girl had built up the waving goodbye at the window into being a really big thing for all of them. Luckily nursery manager agreed with me and told the girl that she needed to pull back on turning it into a big thing, and to not encourage it. However, those few weeks of doing it were enough to screw ds1 for years - even for the first year of starting school. And when he was at nursery and I wasn't leaving immediately I had to tell him that I wouldn't be going straight away so he didn't work himself up into a state.

Needless to say with ds2 I made sure from the start that I asked the nursery girls not to get into a waving habit!

So actually - I think you did a good thing by not waving!

CheersMedea Wed 17-Feb-16 12:02:22

If the worse thing that ever happens to her is a missed wave, she'll have a blessed life.

She probably forgot about it 60 seconds later when Petunia took the best pink crayon.

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