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Mothers day help needed

(42 Posts)
DaddyDr Wed 17-Feb-16 09:55:28

I guess I'm only posting here for footfall, so please bare with me.

I've never celebrated the likes of Valentine's day with my wife, we've been together 15 years married 9, and it's not something that's ever been an issue. I see it as a complete waste of time, I don't require a day to tell my wife I love her, I try show and tell her that everyday especially if I want a new computer game

Anyway, I thought the same applied to mother's day and father's day. Again I see them as pointless. So last year I didn't do anything for mothers day. (We have a 2yo) 5 weeks ago my wife gave birth to our daughter so now we have a 2yo and a 5wk old, and my wife has now said how hurt she was I didn't do anything for mothers day last year. So now I feel like a complete ar5e haven't not even given it a 2nd thought. I still think it's silly, but if she doesn't then that's fine.

So now I want to do something for her this year, last night I sat up laye making a card that im going to put a photo of the children in and get the eldest to scribble on it. But is this enough? When she says she would like something does she mean a gift? Or just the thought? I've seen a pottery place near by that does kids crafts that I was thinking about taking them to and getting them to make something. Is that to over the top?

Really confused as to what's expected. What would you people want and think is a nice thing from a person that's never bothered with anything like this before?

DaddyDr Wed 17-Feb-16 09:57:46

Stayed up late, not laye. Stupid phone.

DoreenLethal Wed 17-Feb-16 09:59:14

Card, flowers, chocs. Is it really that hard to work out?

shovetheholly Wed 17-Feb-16 10:00:03

I think your wife has made it really clear that she DOES want a fuss. So definitely the card with juvenile scribblings. How about a more grown-up gift as well (since the kids are too young really to make anything for her) - something like a Jo Malone or Diptique candle or a box of luxury chocolates or some luxury bubble bath? If money is an issue, then TK Maxx have a lot of beauty and skincare stuff for cheaps.

FWIW, I think you should do Valentine's day too. If you show her you love her every day, then it's not exactly onerous to get her one extra present on the 14th is it? grin

DoreenLethal Wed 17-Feb-16 10:00:15

Or CD, record, book, that thing she has been talking about, new pen, scarf yada yada yada. You live with her!

CooPie10 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:00:38

You can get her anything you want. Really there's so much I don't see the confusion. Card, flowers, chocolates, clothes, perfume , anything really.

shovetheholly Wed 17-Feb-16 10:02:29

ALSO - and in addition to the gift - you need to show some effort that day. She shouldn't have to lift a finger to do housework, and that does not mean no housework gets done - it means YOU do it instead. Breakfast in bed, and dinner plus a glass of fizz once the kids are in bed wouldn't go amiss either.

FeelingSmurfy Wed 17-Feb-16 10:04:04

Getting the 2 yr old to paint something at pottery place and/or getting handprints from both on pottery would be really special, shows thought and effort

If doing that remember to leave time for it to be glazed, fired and then you pick it up

Writerwannabe83 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:04:28

I would hate it if my DH bought me flowers, card, chocolates etc - such pointless and generic gifts with no real thought gone in to them.

Personalised presents are far, far better and the card you have made sounds lovely.

Last year my DS was just under one on Mother's Day and when I got home from work my DH presented me with a huge photo frame in which he had done a collage of all my favourite photos of DS and it was so lovely and thoughtful that I was in tears.

I can't say a box of chocolates or a bottle of perfume would have evoked quite the same response....

attheendoftheday Wed 17-Feb-16 10:06:07

Card sounds nice but is not enough alone. Go out for lunch, or do something together as a family?

megganonion Wed 17-Feb-16 10:08:09

Make her a photo collage with u r wedding photos. Scan photos and baby pics any photo u deem special. U can upload them online for free. U can also pay to have them delivered inexpensive less than £10.. results very sentimental also u could add a caption to the photos telling her how much she means to you!

pudcat Wed 17-Feb-16 10:09:39

I too never see the point of Valentines Day - it is sheer commercialism. Again with Mothering Sunday - a simple card with your children's hand prints would be lovely. Flowers that weekend always double in price. Why not cook a simple meal and have a lovely walk with children.

megganonion Wed 17-Feb-16 10:11:09

Also you could make her a pamper bag. Face mask creams bath salts chocolate new pj's bed socks. Whatever you no she likes. They are the best presents to get I make them for my mum my nanny and mother in law they all love them. Good luck x

liquidrevolution Wed 17-Feb-16 10:12:50

I would make sure you cook her breakfast and buy some flowers. Perhaps give her a break in the morning so she can have a nice long bath in peace and take the kids to the supermarket to buy some flowers and then a nice family lunch out. Theres usually family fun type days (lambing etc) on at this time of the year so maybe go to one of those and take a nice picnic lunch?

Not all mums want posh candles hmm so dont worry about that. Taking charge of the kids for a bit and spending family time together is more important.

UmbongoUnchained Wed 17-Feb-16 10:14:18

Make her breakfast in bed with the kids, tidy up so she doesn't have to do anything. Handmade card and a nice special necklace or something. Take her out for lunch.

MrsH1989 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:17:54

I think with mother's day it is about acknowledging that she is a good mum and showing you appreciate her. I don't care much for valentines day but I do care about mother's day. Just a card and a nice meal (whether thats out for tea or a break from cooking it) I also like the pottery craft idea. You don't need to go over the top, flowers, chocolates etc are enough.

DaddyDr Wed 17-Feb-16 10:18:57

writerwannabe83 that's my thoughts exactly. It just seems so unoriginal and thoughtless to just get the chocolate and wine type stuff.

For the record, I do do my share of the house work which atm is most of it as my wife is doing the 3am feed and is knacked. I also take the kids out on my own to give her some quite time every weekend, so that's nothing new.
Hence why I guess it needs to be a "thing" we get her. Also we're in a position where money isn't that much of an issue.

Thank you for your ideas people.

yorkshapudding Wed 17-Feb-16 10:23:48

I don't think it necessarily needs to be a 'gift' but any gesture that makes her feel that she is appreciated. This could be cooking her a nice meal once the kids are in bed, taking them both out for the day so she can have some time to herself..anything that you think she would enjoy or find relaxing.

I know some people think it's too generic and unimaginative but I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with going down the traditional flowers/chocolates route, depending on your partners tastes. DH knows I love having fresh flowers in the house but would never think to treat myself to them, same with posh chocolates, so I'm happy to receive them as gifts for valentines/mothers day.

lilone1234 Wed 17-Feb-16 10:33:01

The handmade card sounds really nice. I'm on the side of PP who would rather breakfast in bed to a posh candle! Being mother to young children is very relentless and the children are too young to show appreciation so that's why you need to be doing something on their behalf.

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Wed 17-Feb-16 10:33:48

Can you ask her what she would like? DH and I always talk about our expectations for 'significant' dates. It really helps.

If not, I'd go for breakfast in bed, flowers/chocolates/small gift you know she'd like and anything you all enjoy as a family which can be done with minimal effort in her part. And some time to herself during the day.

Could you do a card with your 5 week old's footprints on as well as the toddler scribbles?

megganonion Wed 17-Feb-16 10:37:47

Whatever you do will be special. Most mums just want to no they are loved and respected. It's not about the cost. Just show her u love her grin

TooMuchOfEverything Wed 17-Feb-16 10:40:32

There is no point asking people who don't know your wife what she'd like. DH once bought me a she wee for an anniversary- it was exactly the best most thoughtful present ever.

BlueJug Wed 17-Feb-16 10:49:05

I agree with you OP - it is crap. I never wanted anything and saw it all as a lot of commercialised rubbish and waste of time/money. HOWEVER your wife thinks differently so good for you to try to make her happy with this.

For Mother's day involving the children is key. The card is a good idea and in future years a card made with them is the answer. Also take them to choose flowers for her and get them to actively understand what she does for them and that it is her special day.

Presents - flowers etc. I wouldn't go down the whole scarves/perfume route - it is supposed to be about the kids.

FeralBeryl Wed 17-Feb-16 10:50:30

TooMuch grin

Agree that it should be something your wife would like rather than generic shite. When I receive any kind of gifts, I love them to be things that I'd really like, but couldn't justify buying for myself-ridiculously overpriced candles, poncey make up - I'm looking at you Mrs Gloss, books, music tickets, spa treatments, or more recently, diamanté dust caps for my car tyres smile
I think it should simply be a day that says 'see you, well we think you're FANTASTIC we do' flowers

dinkystinky Wed 17-Feb-16 10:53:55

You have a 5 week old child - doing something nice for your wife as person, rather than a mother, might be nice. So you and your eldest child giving her breakfast in bed, with a flower (real or paper one) and the card from your children, followed by letting her have a lie in with the papers (if she likes that) while you look after the baby might be nice.

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