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AIBU?

Booking a wedding when not divorced

42 replies

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 07:50

Posting here for traffic and on behalf of a friend!

Soon to be exh is getting remarried very soon, but has done nothing to push divorce along despite my friends constant chasing/solicitor meetings etc.

It is now looking like divorce won't be finalised by the time of wedding.

Exh now screaming about suing for the cost of the wedding. This can't be right surely?

Solicitor doesn't seem to think so, seems to think it's consequential loss but what about small claims court? Any one have any experience.

I guess the aibu bit is to not book a wedding when divorce is not final.

OP posts:

Report

Sighing · 17/02/2016 07:53

The registrar / celebrant would have surely advised against it? There's no refund for illegal weddings.

HermioneJeanGranger · 17/02/2016 07:53

I would say he's an idiot for booking a wedding when he's not divorced! If the divorce isn't finalised in time, he needs to suck up the loss.

MsColouring · 17/02/2016 07:53

So it's his fault that it's moving slow and him making a fuss that it's not sorted.

Booking a wedding before divorce is finalised is just stupid imo.

honeysucklejasmine · 17/02/2016 07:54

Well he sounds a foolish man. You can't rush legal proceedings. It's like herding cats.

I would hope any judge in any case he might manage to conjour up would agree. Especially if she can evidence that she has not been ignoring requests for participation in the divorce proceedings.

Sighing · 17/02/2016 07:54

I can't see it being anyone's but the responsibility of the perdon getting married to be sure they will be free to marry on a particular date.

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 07:56

She has text messages, all calls to her solicitor have been logged etc.

It's costing a fortune for her and her solicitor has said enough now the balls in their court let them now do the running. Bar her taking him to court which she can't afford nothing else to do.

OP posts:

Fidelia · 17/02/2016 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fidelia · 17/02/2016 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lighteningirl · 17/02/2016 08:06

Deserve everything he gets shouldn't even get engaged whilst still married let alone book a wedding he's a plum and she's is in no way liable.

Trills · 17/02/2016 08:08

Legal things never go to time. Idiot.

ivykaty44 · 17/02/2016 08:10

Tell your friend to sit back and relax, he can scream & shout all he likes but he isn't going to get anywhere.

As for his wish to sue...? What for? It was his choice to book a wedding venue before being legally allowed to remarry - no one forced him to do so

Aeroflotgirl · 17/02/2016 08:14

If I were her I would not be marrying him right now, something does not sound right.

FishWithABicycle · 17/02/2016 08:25

He is being ridiculously unreasonable and she is in no way liable for costs he incurred of his own free will.

If the divorce isn't finalised in time they can go ahead with a (non-legally-valid) ceremony and party on the date booked, and can do the legal bit quietly once the divorce is final surely? Plenty of people split the legal stuff from the party stuff these days.

shoeaddict83 · 17/02/2016 08:25

sorry this is all his fault!! My DP had been separated a while but not divorced when we got together. Started proceedings last year about 3 years after they split but used the 2 yr separation,and its finalised in 2 weeks (whoop!) we both know we want to get married and have discussed it but i refused to even get engaged until he was divorced. I dont like the idea of being engaged to a married man - its odd!!!
This idiot shouldnt have booked a wedding until he had the decree absolute date at the very least, no-ones fault except his if he loses the money. If i was the ex-wife i wouldn't be worrying myself about it (same as i wouldnt expect DP Ex-wife to worry if we'd done this!), sit back and let him stew!

Katenka · 17/02/2016 08:27

He is a dick. So is his new wife if she has gone along with this.

Although I suspect his anger is because she doesn't know the whole story.

BlueMoonRising · 17/02/2016 08:27

Aeroflot girl, I think she is divorcing him..

Anniegetyourgun · 17/02/2016 08:29

Man wants to sue his soon-to-be-ex wife because the divorce won't be finalised in time for him to get married to the next victim, and he's going to be out of pocket? What a twit. Or (going by what Fidelia said, and common sense) he's trying to pull a fast one. Your friend's solicitor sounds sensible. Let him rant and rave, as long as she isn't doing anything wrong it isn't her problem.

Pity the next Mrs Twit.

wannaBe · 17/02/2016 08:30

Does the new wife even know he's still married? What an arse.

I would just laugh in the face of his threats to sue I'm afraid...

PotterBot · 17/02/2016 08:32

I think he has gone into full blown panic mode. She is divorcing him. Surprisingly for unreasonable behaviour.

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 17/02/2016 08:40

oh right, ok, why book a wedding when the decree nisi has not been given

Aeroflotgirl · 17/02/2016 08:40

decree absolute sorry!

diddl · 17/02/2016 08:42

I could only think that she might be at fault if she was deliberately holding onto stuff to ensure that it ran past his wedding date.

But whether that would have any legal recourse I've no idea (and I know that that isn't the case here as she isn't doing that.)

Even so I would think that any legal onus is on him as he is the one wanting to remarry & needing to fit the criteria!

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firesidechat · 17/02/2016 08:46

A relation of mine did this and the wedding was cancelled a few times, losing money every time. I couldn't possibly say what I think about this type of behaviour.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 17/02/2016 08:49

Dh had to provide his decree absolute when we went to book our wedding at the registrars office. So I suspect he's either not booked anything on the legal side of things, just the venue or his fiancée has done all the bookings and doesn't know he's not yet divorced, or even nearly divorced.

Since its the ex who actually needs to get divorced rather than your friend who wants to get divorced, I'd say the ball was firmly in his court to make sure everything was done to a time scale appropriate to his wedding plans. And as she's divorcing him for unreasonable behaviour, this just shows him up in an even more unreasonable light. I sincerely doubt (hope) even small claims would allow him to sue for the wedding costs as it's always down to the couple getting married to prove they are free to do so. And despite your friends best efforts, her ex clearly isn't free to do so yet.

GruntledOne · 17/02/2016 08:54

If he tries to sue he will just be throwing good money after bad. She doesn't have any legal duty to him to divorce him at all, she could perfectly well decide to pull the plug on the divorce completely if she wanted to. Of course he should have waited till he had the decree absolute before arranging anything.

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