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AIBU. DP thinks he is a carrot!

(105 Posts)
flopseyR72 Tue 16-Feb-16 17:27:46

I have been engaged to my fiance for around 18 months (he proposed to me!) we have a 6 month daughter. We have no definite plans to marry. My fiance keeps on saying that if i get a job and move house we can get married. He keeps saying that when we move we can discuss marriage and this as he puts it should be a carrot to make me want to move. To be honest I have changed my mind I don't want to change jobs or move. Does anyone think he is being arrogant to think that marrying him is a huge motivating factor?

Sparkletastic Tue 16-Feb-16 17:29:52

Oh yes he sees himself as quite the prize doesn't he?

AtrociousCircumstance Tue 16-Feb-16 17:31:22

Ugh. Hugely arrogant.

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 17:31:27

You live together, you have a baby together, you have a ring on your finger.

You seem to be married in almost every sense of the word anyway, apart from the legal protection.

Yes, I agree he does sound arrogant, so if I were you I'd just sort out the legal stuff (if you haven't already) and tell him to stick it.

Lovestonap Tue 16-Feb-16 17:32:01

I've always found it a bit weird when people get engaged but then don't plan a wedding. By all means have as long an engagement as suits you, but engaged means 'engaged to be married', and if someone isn't comfortable setting a date then to all intents and purposes you're still just boyfriend and girlfriend.

I think you need to become a carrot yourself. Does he want you? Then let's make sure the future plans work for everybody!

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Feb-16 17:32:43

I have to say I love the thread title btw grin

I wasn't quite sure what I'd find when I opened the thread?!

LaurieFairyCake Tue 16-Feb-16 17:34:01

Why does he want you to get a different job?

Why does he want to move?

Goingtobeawesome Tue 16-Feb-16 17:34:31

You don't want to change jobs or move, do you still want to marry this idiot vegetable?

Whisky2014 Tue 16-Feb-16 17:35:32

He should want to marry you despite your job or where you live. Yanbu!

Florene Tue 16-Feb-16 17:38:34

What is his reason for wanting to move, and why don't you want to?

lamiashiro Tue 16-Feb-16 17:41:30

Tell him he's not a carrot, he's a cabbage.

chillycurtains Tue 16-Feb-16 17:45:17

He's more like a parsnip I think. He's certainly being rather an arse.

bimandbam Tue 16-Feb-16 17:52:53

Tell him to move house. Alone.

Then if he is such a prize vegatable you will want to follow.

I bet you don't though. Then he can quietly go soft and floppy all by himself.

CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 16-Feb-16 17:52:53

Tell him he's starting to sound more like a courgette. Yuck.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 16-Feb-16 17:58:10

Two can play the carrot game.
Tell him you don't want to move and you're the carrot for him to stay.
He can be the donkey.

AgathaF Tue 16-Feb-16 18:00:01

Why did you get engaged if you don't want to get married?

Why does he want to move house - do you need somewhere bigger, closer to work or amenities etc? In this instance he does come across as arrogant, however it does seem that the fundamentals of what you want in the short/medium term are quite different (marriage, house move, job).

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Tue 16-Feb-16 18:00:08

A carrot?
He's dragging that poor vegetable good name through the mud.
He's not a carrot, just a dick.

Jux Tue 16-Feb-16 18:00:25

Turnip. Definitely a turnip. Carrots and parsnips are sweet and lovely. Turnips aren't.

GreatFuckability Tue 16-Feb-16 18:02:34

This thread is nowhere near as interesting as the title implies.
Why does where you live/work have any bearing on getting married?

acasualobserver Tue 16-Feb-16 18:02:45

Tell him he's not a carrot, he's a cabbage
grin

BluePancakes Tue 16-Feb-16 18:06:32

I was expecting you to say he's a moron (carrot in Welsh).

NotOneIota Tue 16-Feb-16 18:07:16

I thought I was coming in to a fake tan discussion!

He's not a carrot,OP,he's a dick.

BrightestAndBest Tue 16-Feb-16 18:10:43

My neice calls my brother 'Uncle Carrot' - I've no idea why (his name is Edward).

Does he (your fiancé - not my DBro) live a long way away from you? Otherwise I don't understand why he thinks you should change job/move house. I'd be worried that he was trying to cut you off from my friends/colleagues. Stick to your guns - don't move unless you want to...

LagunaBubbles Tue 16-Feb-16 18:11:24

I'm like Worra, I had no idea what to expect opening this one! grin

flopseyR72 Tue 16-Feb-16 18:21:01

Sorry! He wants to move to the country and down south. I thought I would but now I have baby I think I want to keep my old job as it's easier! They will let me work 3 days. My carrot thinks he wants to work 3 days in London and live the rest in our new house in country. Also we do live together and he never does anything in house except shop and cook. I'm thinking I don't wAnt to move or buy a big house as too much maintenance. After all it will be my savings and job that gets us the mortgage. He is planning to keep his London flat.

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